My Last Ambien

weesa

Oh wow, so great to see this old thread resurrected. I have no recollection of having written it because it was an Ambien-induced post. (Just kidding I do remember.) So nice to see Spunky Girl and lots of other old timers as I scroll up the thread.

I still struggle to sleep. I now use 20 mg Melatonin time-release. Once in a great while I use my pill cutter to cut another 20 mg bomb in half so I take 30 mg. I don't drink coffee after 11 am, I watch my alcohol consumption after about 8 o'clock, which you know is an ordeal for me, being a bar owner. I've become inured to the idea my circadian rhythm is non existent, and might have contributed to my breast cancer in the first place.

In my dottage (I've become enamored with this word lately and have been dying to have a place to use it) I have learned not to freak out when I pop awake at 4 am. I grab my phone or my Kindle by the bed and read. I mostly plan everything critical I have to do between 3 and 5 pm in case I have to have an early morning nap. I have banished my husband and my cat to the guest bedroom.

But after all this, I still miss my Ambien, even tho we broke up. She was my introduction into the world of hynotics, and I got thru chemo, radiation, and 17 surgeries with her in the top drawer of my bedside table, along with a pizza crust left over from when I had to eat in bed, being too weak to shuffle into the kitchen, some dry mouth gel, and a collection of dry eye drops that never did the trick.

sugarplum

Hey Weesa! Ambien & I have been having a once-a-week liaison ever since my chemo 12+ years ago. I use it as a Sunday night treat to start my week off with 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep, something I've never been able to get with anything else. The stuff used to hit me like a velvet hammer within 20 minutes, but sadly now I have to wait almost two hours before feeling its slightly hypnotic effect. I just saw this resurrection of your old thread a couple of days ago & had been wondering how you fared with the breakup, so am really glad you brought us all up to speed (and kudos to you for staying clean)!

Yet another admirer from afar - Julie

juniper

I wish that I could part with Ambien. I take 5mg every night. When I first started, I would fall asleep in less than 20 minutes. Now it's at least an hour. I still wake regularly however. I hate the night because sleeping has become so stressful. I need something to turn my mind off. I've tried meditation, but I've not had much luck.

santabarbarian

For wanna-be meditators: Tray "Headspace" or go to the website of Tara Brach. There are guided meditations you can listen to. Various lengths from short to long. It's a lot easier to relax when someone else is keeping track and verbally guiding you.

ALSO Melatonin is very good for sleep AND has anti cancer properties, so there are some good alternatives out there.

LoveFromPhilly

hi all!

I have been afraid to try ambien for the exact reasons people have posted here about it. I was prescribed a bottle at diagnosis and never opened it (except to give a couple to a friend - I know I know, very naughty!!).

I do take 20mg of melatonin each night, and I was taking a medicinal marijuana called Dream which I recently stopped just because I was not loving the taste of it. One thing that may help folks who feel groggy from the melatonin is to take it earlier. In my research I found that we should be taking it around 8pm instead of say 10pm for its effects to really work on the pineal gland.

Before all the meds and induced medical menopause, I slept like a champ - never waking up to even go to the bathroom. Now I wake up pretty much once every hour. It’s rough!!!

I did start taking Lexapro, an antidepressant. I fought taking ADs for a long time but finally gave in to try. It has greatly helped reduce my anxiety, my hot flashes, and I think I may be sleeping a little tiny bit better.

I do listen to Tara Brach podcasts to help me fall back to sleep. I also listen to her husband Jonathan Foust- love them both!! Very soothing. It works like a charm!! And if I don’t fall back to sleep right away (rare) I at least meditate aka beditate.

Good luck to all who are working their way off Ambien

its_real

Now I use marijuana edibles - they are wonderful! I live in MA so legal althoguth not covered by insurance. I am new to this 'trip" - diagnosed July 2018. I hav used Ambien intermittenly over the years, not usually more than 3 days in a row as I seem to get moody. It is soooo easy to use them - who doesn't want to jsut conk out! Whn I was trying to wean myself I put them in cabinet on the other side of the house and tried giving myself time to fal asleep before taking one. I also startd cutitng them in half.

Happy to be where marijuana is legal!

sbelizabeth

When perimenopause rolled around, long before cancer rolled around, I found myself sleeping a couple of hours--or not at all--every night. I was close to suicidal from insomnia. I went to see my GP, whom I trusted, but got booked with a physician's assistant I'd never seen before. She said something to the effect of, "I don't know what you're going to do but I'm not giving you sleeping pills." I felt shamed, like I'd asked for a month's supply of morphine to sell on the sidewalk.

So I went to see my gyno, who prescribed an estrogen patch. Bingo. I slept. For eighteen months I felt like myself--and then breast cancer. The estrogen patch flew off and once again, fueled by menopause and anxiety, I was sleepless. Mercifully, my oncologist prescribed ambien. I don't know how I would have made it through chemo, rads, twelve surgeries, without it. A good night's sleep prepared me to face whatever the day brought.

Ambien let me sleep peacefully night after night, without the struggle to settle the monkey brain. So for eight years I took it almost every night. Then I moved out of state, away from my team of physicians who understood my medical history. So I figured it was time to learn to trust my body again and allow it to sleep naturally. And I determined to break the habit. I put the bottle of ambien on a very high shelf and went cold turkey.

The first night was pretty awful, but I kept at it, and on the third night I slept OK. Vivid dreams, sometimes kinda wierd, persist, but I suppose after all those years of suppressing them, my body/brain is learning how to dream again.

I still have a bottle of ambien but it lives on that high shelf and I take one only on the rare occasions when I've given sleep an honest shot and just can't do it. And never two nights in a row. I know how easy it would be to slip back into the habit of effortless sleep.