Breast cancer strikes again, I'm worried to death

mz106

Few days ago, my mom has informed me of her diagnosis of stage I  breast cancer (that was in October). she's actually had breast cancer 16 years ago when I was 4 years old. I don't remember much but I'm sure my anxiety stems from that time period. She's having a surgery (lumpsectomy) on the 19th of January and she's been taking hormonal medicine since the initial diagnosis. She let me feel the tumor with my own hands because she wanted me to know what it actually feels like, in case I end up with cancer like herself. it's not bigger than 1cm I think. Perhaps slightly bigger. but my main concern is that I'm afraid the tumor has grown since October... The doctor apparently told her that it's not a very aggressive type of breast cancer and she's been doing a lot of research herself and she's very educated about it all, so she doesn't seem too worried. But I still am quite concerned.  

I've been crying to myself a lot and feeling very depressed. My mom and I have talked about it a lot and I've asked her many questinos about it and she openly talks to me about everything. She says she's not very worried. I'm in university at the moment and I have to go back on the 9th.  (I study in the UK and my mom is in Japan) I've contemplated about staying with my mom for the surgery many times but  she insists that she will be fine and I should go back as planned. Should I stay here for her? or is it better to listen to my mom and go back to my normal life?

 I try to stay happy for her but sometimes I just break down and cry to myself. my friends have been very supportive but it's still hard to feel normal.

 Thank you 

bevin

Dear MZ106, I am so sorry about your Mom and that you need to think about how best to help her. Its good she talks with you and has shared her diagnosis. She must feel you're very strong. I certainly understand your need and desire to be with her during surgery. If she is telling you to remain in UK, I am sure she means that. Is there anyone else who will be there with her during surgery.? Brother, Husband, Boyfriend, good girlfriend.Perhaps they can stay with her and keep you posted. If she has no other loved one or close friend to stay with her perhaps that can be something important you discuss with her and then the reason you stay with her.

Good luck in your decision making. It sounds like you Mom raised a very thoughtful and caring daughter.

nowheregirl

Sorry about your mom. I'm a 7 year survivor and live in Japan (I'm Japanese). Not sure where your mum exactly is but let me know if there's anything I could do for her. If you want to talk to me privately, feel free to send me a private message.