Can we survive?
I just read a post by someone who is convinced her 111c is going to kill her, now I feel like sh*t. I am trying so hard to be positive and I keep thinking that there are many medical advances out there for us. But are we going to survive this? I want to live at least 15-20 more years, is it possible? I have read the most bc patients will live at least 5 years past dx. Also heard that bc does not kill but the liver of lung or brain mets could. I have a friend who was dx 10 years ago, 4 pos nodes, cx just came back in her lungs, she got radiated, think more chemo, tumor shrank, its not doing anything and docs are happy. I have to hang on to that. I also read a post somewhere that said after a few years even pos nodes are equal to reoccurence chance as no pos nodes. I guess I am hoping someone will say "hey you are going to be ok". I know we can't predict the future, am thinking of seeing a pyschic. I need some positive stories please!! I feel hopeless again, like why go to work and pay bills? What does it matter now? URG...THIS SUCKS!!!!!
Comments
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just read an uplifting article on this site about taking aspirin. I started taking an 81mg adult baby aspirin 4 times a week. Good article, suggest reading it. It is on the home page of this site, under I believe "news".
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ckgrayoh,
I'm have no business posting in the Stage III forum but there don't appear to be many people on the board today (probably lots of preparations underway for New Year's Eve), it's been close to an hour since you posted and in reading what you wrote, I really want to answer and send a positive - and what I believe to be truthful - message. I'm not Stage III but I'm a research junkie; I've read tons about breast cancer and I know all the survival stats, etc.. I'm usually the one who is spouting stats but that's not what I'm going to do here, because the stats are meaningless when it comes to your question.
"Can we survive?" Yes, absolutely. As you mentioned in your post, it's not BC in the breast, or even in the nodes, that is ever the problem. The problem is when BC moves into the body and takes hold and grows uncontrollably in a vital organ. Your diagnosis is breast cancer in the breast and the nodes. That will not kill you.
But I think the crux of your question is whether, in being Stage IIIC, you will inevitably develop mets. The answer is No, it's not inevitable. Many women who are Stage IIIC never progress to develop mets. The role of the lymph nodes is to catch disease; maybe you had a very aggressive cancer but your nodes did their job and caught all of it, never allowing any cancer cells to move beyond the nodes. If that happened, you will never develop mets and you will survive. Or even if some cancer cells had moved through your nodes and into your body, if they had not yet taken hold, then chemo and hormone therapy would be able to do their job and kill off those cancer cells before they had a chance to become dangerous. And in that case, you will never develop mets and you will survive.
But what if you do develop mets? If you do, then it means that some BC cancer cells have moved into your body and were not destroyed by chemo or hormone therapy. It means that BC is likely to be the cause of your death - eventually. But you can't put a time frame on it. Where are the cancer cells in your body? Are they in a state of uncontrollable growth or are they being controlled by your therapies? Mets might reduce your life expectancy but many women survive with mets for many many years.
At this point, being Stage IIIC, you have every reason to believe that you will survive. And even if you were to develop mets, you have every reason to believe that you will survive, with mets, for many years. Until you know differently with absolute certainty, that is the truth so why believe anything else?
Sending you cyber (((hugs))), New Year's greetings, and to all in this forum, my apologies for intruding here.
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I absolutely feel and think everything you put in your post. "We" just don't like to say it outloud. I just recieved my staging yesterday. I have been absolutely devastated the past 24 hours. I have actually said to myself, why bother with chemo, radiation?? Lymph nodes involved, well what's the point. My children are 4 years and 18m. I cannot even look at them without crying. I just had a BMX with TE 10 days ago. I hate these TE and they will be in for at least 15-16 months. What the hell was I thinking??
Then I gently try to tell myself that this fight isn't over, mine is just beginning. I have children and a husband that I have to try and get through this for myself and them. One foot in front of the other. If you ever want to talk just pm me.... We are all here together. And yes is SUCKS!!!!
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Beesie,
I really liked what you wrote. Thank you! It made me feel better too.
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Mom of Two,
We've all had your thoughts, but I am sure that I'm here today and doing well because of all the treatments and surgery. They really weren't that bad. I worked through chemo and rads, and was mostly just a little tired at times. I hope that you get through your treatments well too. My husband had Brain Cancer (he passed away in Sept.), and my boys were 3 and 5 in 2006 when I was diagnosed. You just do what you have to do to keep your family going and live each day to the fullest.
Blessings,
Bobbie -
Thank you SpunkyGirl. I am so incerdibly sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine what you have been through. So nice of you to post to make a stranger feel better. Hugs....to you and your boys.
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Well Bessie that is the best post I think I have read in awhile. I feel pretty good now. Thanks so much! SPunky girl I am too so sorry for your loss. Looks like you are going on 6 years out, good for you!! Mom of two, you will fight for your kids!! You should go to the other threads about inspirational stories, it always makes me feel better!! Happy New Years ladies!!
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O and Bessie, I think all of us welcome the "intrusion" when you post something so uplifting. I sometimes go to the stage iv threads and lurk around because I want to see how other women are coping with a situation worse than mine. I think we are all in the same boat and we need each other!!
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What a great thread today and just what I needed. Too many difficult thoughts roaming thru my brain as we begin 2012 This is very uplifting
Thank you
Gentle evening and new year
Nel
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Wow. Wonderful thread. Beesie-great post. I'm stage IIb so I hope it's okay to post here. I, too, have been having a hard time mentally in the last two weeks. I wonder if it's because of the holidays? I've suddenly become convinced this was going to kill me! I'm not sure why this is happening when I'm normally able to keep my spirits up!
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I think we all have these dark days when we think it's going to kill us. I did when I was first dx and I do now a year after treatment ended. (They node + thing in particular freaks me out.) When I'm feeling particularly low I look at the stage 3 women who are 5+ years out. You can't argue with those thriving women. Death or mets might be one possibility, but so is living a long, healthy, cancer-free life. I guess what I'm saying is you can dwell on either of those possibilities, the choice is ours what we select to embrace and energize. Bessie, great post. Thanks you.
Our tradition on New Year's eve is to write our wishes, prayers, hopes and dreams on tiny bits of paper and tie them with a bow. Then at midnight we burn them. I'll be sending up prayers for all of us that we have an abundance of good health and peace of mind.
Happy New Year.
Rachel
IDC 4.5 grade 3, + nodes, brca2+, er+
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Beesie,
what a wonderful post!! Thank you, us lllcer's tend to have alot of fear........... I believe we are not our stats, although I understand the fear completely. I think really what beesie said makes so much sence, our nodes did there job!!!! If they did there job, we will live with NED and survive this awful beast. Worst case as put so well, women live many years with mets, I have a dear friend who started in stage IV, mets to her bones. She did all her chemo, no rads, went on her hormonal blockers and has remained cancer free for going on 4 years!!! Thats after having been dx with mets!! There is alot of hope for us, keep reading the stories of hope!!!! None of us asked for this, but it is what it is.... I have small kids, I pray the good Lord keeps me in the game, I intend to raise them, and then rock in the chair on the porch with DH, for years after that!!!!
May God Bless us all, this journey is not an easy one, but it is a doable one!!!! It does not define us either, we are more then are BC dx, we are moms, wives, friends, daughter's, bussiness people.............This is a huge bump in the road, someday I pray it's just a distant memory, an experiance that molded us in to stronger, better women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peace be with you sister's, Have a happy and healthy New year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stephanie
P.s Beesie, feel free to intrude anytime, thoses words were very helpful and brought hope to many on this stage 3 board!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Touche Faithfulheart....
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I wish everyone would feel comfortable posting wherever, I know I value everyone's comments. We are in this together, and sure, our diagnoses and prognosis may be very different, but we all have fears and worries.
With that being said, yes it is hard and I also sometimes think what is the use, but I know if I didn't go through the treatment I would feel a heck of alot worse now than I do. It's not easy and I would love someone to say to me it will all be ok, well my husband does say that! I just need to believe him. And why not believe him?! It won't hurt me to believe, right?
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Yes we can survive, how long? We never know. My best advise is not to look at the statistics on the net. A lot of survival rates are not accurate if they were I wouldn't be here. We do what we have to do and keep moving forward. That doesn't mean we don't have bad days because we all do. It is a process.
It's been almost 4 years since my diagnosis and I try to make the most of everyday.
Sending lots of love & support. Nj
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I think the best thing is to have confidence and acceptance. By that I mean accepting what you have been given with this illness so that you are ready to fight and confidence in your medical team. I was a hot mess until I got a second opinion at the best cancer treatment facility in the country. I was thinking that I only had to live for the short term before hand, why put my body and famil through all the stress if I was goign to die anyway. Then I got a new medical team. I still get cranky but I am so confident in my medical team that I truely don't have those death and dying thoughts anymore. Its weird, but I am planning for the long term again. Seeing my son graduate college, ect and he is 17 mo old. I am even (gasp) thinking of having more kids in a few years once this is all over and originally I thought it was hopeless.
I hope you find something that works for you to keep those deep dark thoughts at bay, but I truely believe that stage 3 isn't the end of the world, and if things do stay the same or progress that there will be new/amazing treatments in a few years that will work wonders! -
We are the same and we will win
Alison -
Beesie - loved to read your post - you always make things better by your research and explanations - as to posting on a stage 111 forum - go ahead you're welcome I'm sure.
CK - I am stage 111 and almost (in one month) three years out from treatment - I had clean scans two weeks ago and now I am on screening every six months - my onc in the US (where I started my journey) told me to go out and "live my life" and I have followed his advice - I do know that this time of year can be depressing it may have to do with the low light or the stress from Christmas and holiday preparations - that said, try not to worry about survival stats and live the best life you can - there are no guarantees for ANYONE......
Hugs, Sandy
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ckgrayoh-Not to sound depressing, but nobody survives life. Some of us just know (perhaps) what will take us out. When I was diagnosed in 2009 w/ stage III (and at first they told me it was IV, but misdiagnosed), I freaked. I spent so much time reading the primary literature about BC, looking at the stats, calculating my own chances. I lost all joy in life. Now, I've found that, at least for me--and I can ONLY speak for myself--I had to focus on my great professonal life, my excellent family, my sweet dog, and stop reading the literature, getting on web sites (well, I do log on here once in awhile), and even thinking about it. I'm better off. I have reclaimed that joy, although I realize that one trip to the clinic and that could change.
I wish you the best for the new year, and the best luck in treatment, and also the best in survivial. Be strong, lady.
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Oh and hey ckgrayoh-I thought your tag line was funny, so I assume you were being ironic-spiders are actually very cool. I love spiders, even though I've had a brown recluse bite that didn't heal for months! Spider venom may turn out to have some medical benefit, but even if not they catch insects and the most dangerous arthropod is the mosquito! I never kill spiders in my house--if they are a bit big, I catch them and put them outside. Would love to tell you my positive experiences with spiders!! I had a cute tarantula once that liked to rip the heads off crickets.....oh wait, I don't mean to creep anyone out on this site!!
I think airplanes are the scariest thing in the world.
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nice thread...
hang in there girls..
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Can we survive!!!! Heck YES!!! we are all surviving.....some of us get more years than others...but its one day at a time and as long as we are walking this earth, we are surviving!!! wishing all many, many years of NED....here's to growing old!!!!
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Batwoman: Spiders really do creep my out however, I do not kill them, even if they are in my house. I take them outside, after I trap them in a cup of course!! And I agree about airplanes, if we were meant to fly we would have wings. BUT I do love the tropics so I do have to board one every once in awhile.
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Hey, ckgray,
Will be celebrating 2 years out this month... Got soooo much inspiration from these brave ladies. When I needed to, I would get on the 5+ years thread and read it again.... Another thread earlier also celebrated those with many years out. I do think the holidays make it even more difficult, but these days come and go. Tomorrow will be better. Happy New Year ! Gorgeous horse!!
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hi cm, thanks for the compliment about my horse, I actually just sold him. I am hoping to reach that five year mark unscathed. Just saw PS Friday so am excited to get my new girls. I think once my hair is back and I have my figure again, I will feel more confident. Congrats on your 2 years!!!
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Yes, the coming year will be easier than the first. Enjoy the curly new hair you will probably get! Always wanted to own a horse, maybe someday!
cindy
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My hair was a little wavy so i am looking forward to what it will be like, I have almost an inch now. My neice had poker straight hair down to her butrt, it has come back not only curly but a darker color. I just hope to make it to the 3 year mark NED then I think I will relax a little bit. Every morning I get up and start my day then it hits me, you got bc. Then I want to go back to bed. But I have to work and pay bills, life goes on. I just hope I will be here in 10 years to complain about bills.
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As you can see I'm a IIIc -er and TN to boot. I am more than 2 years out from diagnosis and things are going well. Hang in there, the more time that passes, the better things are.
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I was seriously off today and needed some cheering up and I got it on this thread. Thanks, and happy and and healthy New Year, to all the ladies here.
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Hi There.
I WAS a stageIIIC er , but that was over 6.5 years ago. I am well and living large ,and Ihave NO doubt that most of us will all be old ladies, ( unless something else gets us first
Much love and happy 2012!
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