Too tired to think!

dragonfly55

Had my 2nd consult with BS yesterday! Visit before told I would most likely have lumpectomy in this small area of breast and radiation. Now told the DCIS is connected through entire breast (I think shemeans ducts) no separated areas. How can that be? My first mammo was Aug. 15. I have decisions to make and I have run out of energy. I"m just tired of this whole thing. (he waiting and stress has wiped me out. (gee, I hate typing on this blackberry)

SheChirple

Yes, the waiting and the decision making wears you out.  I truly found that once I had all the info my brain could handle, I made a decision, put the plan in place and 80% of my stress was relieved.  Then the waiting was horrible.  But, manageable because I had a plan.

Hang in there, dragonfly, hang in there.  You will make it through and, I know it's hard to beleive, but it does feel better once the surgery is over and treatment begins.

I am barely on the other side, my surgery was 11/28.  I'm still at home recuperating, but already feel like the worst part is behind me and can move forward.  You WILL get there.

cinnamonsmiles

After my lumpectomy, the surgeon drew a picture of my breast and what the cancer and precancer cells looked like. I was riddled with them both. It would skip a section, then be somewhere else. I had absolutely no clean margins. As soon as I saw that picture on the whiteboard and all the dots of cancer, etc, I knew right away I wanted a mastectomy, and I am glad I chose it.

The whole process is very tiring and very stressful.Talk with your breast surgeon, ask questions, and the answers will come to you about your treament. 

I wish you the best and let us know how you are doing.

dragonfly55

I was told by BS on Monday, I had to have mascetomy and SNB. Chemo and or radiation will depend on surgery results. At the Centre, they practice breast-saving but she said she has to take whole breast (i'm a DD). She wants me to have immediate recon. She teams up with a female PS. She has suggested implants but I don't want that.



My surgery is scheduled for Jan. 18, and I see PS on Dec. 22.



I am so not prepared for any of this. How do you adjust your thinking from lumpe..... To mx? How do I figure out reconstruction?



I haven't got Christmas organized yet. Before Monday, like Saturday, I got my first urge for santa shopping. (enough of that)



I really have no brain energy, to ask questions or make decisions.



But it could be worse.

cycle-path

dragonfly: A month or so ago a very articulate (and amusing) woman calling herself TheLadyGrey was going through something quite similar here on the boards. She was initially told she would need a lumpectomy but things changed -- I forget the entire sequence -- and she had to have an MX. She became rather overwhelmed with the decisionmaking. 

You might want to contact her or join some of the threads on which she posts. http://community.breastcancer.org/member/135948/profile Right now she's going through chemo and may not respond to you immediately, but I find her to be very insightful.

dragonfly55

Thank you for your replies.



She: you're right about the waiting. It's very draining. Now that they gave me the surgery date and scheduled appointments I can star getting a plan together. I hope your recovery is going well and you return to good health quickly. I agree that a smile is our best curve! Great line.



Cinnamon: it must have been hard hearing you needed a mx after just having a lumpectomy. I was stunned when I was told I needed a mx instead of lumpe... Hope everything is well with you.

.



I have definite brain drain and body fatigue. That demon "stress" can sure wear you down.



Take care of yourself....



(just woke up with phone in hand... Never sent message....)

dragonfly55

Thanks c-p. I'll take a look. I always find you give good suggestions and information. Take care.

cinnamonsmiles

Dragonfly, it really was an easy decision for me to get a bmx. Like I said before, the breast surgeon drew a picture of my breast and dotted all around where I had DCIS and precancer. It was pretty much all over, and I did not have even close to clean margins. As soon as she told me the two surgical options, I knew right then I just wanted her to take the whole breast. I did give it a night, but by morning, I called and said I hadn't changed my mind. I wasn't that shocked when I found out mx was in my future.I remember things being surreal.

The days leading up to the surgery were very hard with fear, stress, feeling like I can't go through with it.But it's been almost a year, and I have absolutely no regrets.

I didn't get reonconstruction. My breast surgeon never pushed it on me, unlike my one sil who mentioned several times about me getting it done. I don't know why some people think we HAVE to do reconstruction.

Maybe  you could post  on the breast reconstruction to find out more answers to  your questions, or more questions, and information on reconstruction.

dragonfly55

Hi Cinnamon,

Just woke up again. I do a lot of this pass-out sleep and wake up. I must have known (sixth sense) I had a message.



Good food for thought there.



When you said things being surreal, I felt like I was beside myself observing. It was a sort of disbelf.