Canadians in British Columbia

wrenn

Last resort would be drugs. :-) . My oncologist prescribed zopiclone when steroids kept me awake. I only used them a couple of times . because I felt a bit groggy the next day. I use ativan a couple of times a month. The psychiatrist at BCCA told me that it was ok to use it twice a week without worrying about becoming dependent but I still worry about that so I only use it when I know I won't sleep and don't want to ruin the next day by being too tired. Lack of sleep makes me crazy so I can see why you are struggling with this.

Any use of sleep aids would be temporary. This is an unusual time and you might need something for now.

moth

If anyone is looking for online or podcasts of guided meditations, I really like Tara Brach's.

I subscribe to her podcast & get a daily downloand but I usually pick one based on length of session or topic, rather than just the one that drops that day. But I like having the large library and as I scroll through, I find I often just land on what I need to hear. Some of the podcasts are called Reflections & that's more her talking about something than a guided meditation but even those are very meditative.

On her website she also has a section for those new to meditation. https://www.tarabrach.com/guided-meditations/

Sleep is my one super power. It's rare for me to not be able to sleep and the odd times I've had a bit of wakefulness in the middle of the night (often after a 3 am hotflash & pee break), I just listen to an audio book for a bit & then I fall back asleep....

Meditation during the day has IMO lasting effects - often for days, as I don't always maintain a daily habit.

hugz4u

Those doing virtual study. I’m on week one and the “cart on the tracks” is giving me motion sickness a bit. I thought we have to sit but if laying down helps I’ll try that.

Sorry to the rest of you that aren’t in the study it’s fun and engaging and helpful to lessen my pain. I find it so hot though. I think the computer is throwing heat and I get a sweaty headin about 15 min. This morn I did it early with window open and that was way better.

hugz4u

Moth , Just tried the Tara site you gave link to. It was nice.

Question. the MBRS course at cancer Center we took, did you get the CD or link called BODY SCAN? Because I think they were the ones that gave it to me and I've used it on and off for years. It's meditative. I have it on my mp3 player. I took course in 2004/05? Some time after chemo rads

wrenn

We got the CD and I think they wanted a donation for it but I might be thinking of something else. The body scan is available on youtube and probably other places.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4gZgnCy5ew

hugz4u

Yes I got a CD of bodyscan but did it come from there? Rusty memory. Sorry I'm an old dog.

wrenn

I think it did Hugz. I think Sara Sample actually did the body scan on there and maybe not Kabat Zinn. Shitty memory here too.

hugz4u

Lol. Well ok if we both think the same thing then I’m going with that because two bad brains are better than none!

wrenn

NVDobie

wrenn

I just watched the short film about Callanish retreat. I have been the website before after you mentioned here, but didn’t watch the video. Man, I have to tell you, I am gald my husband was upstairs napping because I was watching and sobbing in silence. I am not someone who cries much if at all especially in front of people, but go crazy teary over movies at times. It was such a beautiful film, I am now definitely hooked to join the retreat.

I am like you, don’t like drugs and worry about dependency. I figure I am my own source of problem, so meditation might be a good way to help me to learn how to relax my mind.

Moth

I Was just wondering how you are as haven’t seen your post for a short while. :-)

Thanks for sharing the link. Her voice is quite soothing, I listen to a clip on the site, will try it again.

Now I wish I can have the whole house just to myself, so I can play it in the house without thinking what my husband’s reaction might be or him running away to an different room. Hmm, what would be a good excuse to kick my husband out of house for a day or two so I can have the whole place to myself. :-)

Thanks ladies. Great tips and insights. Much app

moth

NVDobie - I was in hospital till Mon (5 days/4 nights) with another round of febrile neutropenia. AC going out with a bang lol.

Was supposed to start 12x taxol today but got a one week holiday for my counts to hopefully get a big higher - yay. Get to play with the new pup instead. Finalizing adoption this weekend

I like Tara Brach a lot. I watched the Callanish video a while back - you're right, very moving. The retreat doesn't speak to me right now but who knows ...it's good to know it's there.

wrenn

Puppies are the best healers. Any photos to share? :-) I love dogs but am unable to have one so I have a cat. Dog lovers know the difference.

I hope you are able to get your counts up Moth. What a frustration it must be for you.

I find Tara Brach's voice soothing too. I also like Jack Kornfield. His are more 'talks' than meditations I think.

hugz4u

Moth . Oh that’s terrible news. When we are trying to hard to get better and then kicked in the teeth....we’ll your just going to have to have that weeks rest and get right back at it. We’re here for you!

Puppies are fun and I know it will lift your health and spirits. What kind? I guess it doesn’t mater ALL puppies are wonderful. Watch your slippers and pick up families underwear. They love those smells. One of ours ate the crotch right out and left the rest! The other pup got really smart because because she ate the encyclopedias. Quite a few of them. She was our Bookreader

moth

It is an older pup - 8 month old black lab x something (maybe greyhound).

We have an older English Setter already. I still miss my other two - a malamute x which died last year, and a newfie x which died the year before...

She is in the naughty teenager phase. Silly adolescent high jinx. Very sweet tempered but her previous owners didn't give her much structure or brain work so she's a bit wild. I think she might be a good agility prospect once she learns some impulse control.

marianelizabeth

Wrenn, did you notice the mediation week if MBSR? I could tell from every time he mentioned the raisin!

wrenn

aw Moth, what a beautiful dog. My niece lost her husky over a year ago and finally last week had the nerve to open her heart to another rescue. She is so sweet but quite young and a handful. Dogs are so pure. I hope she brings you comfort with all of your complications. She is a lucky girl to have you make her a home.

Marian, do you mean the 3 day meditation walk? I discovered that it is repeated for the next 3 days. I was thinking on day 4 that it all sounded familiar. The Kabat Zinn they used was from 2010 and I do remember the raisin. That meditation walk was my favourite week. I may be not understanding your question. Let me know. I really think I have dementia. I am starting to worry.

Now off to correct a post on another thread where I see I had another brain slip and asked a nonsense question.

Sleep well all

Roaming_Star

Moth - thinking of you and wishing you well this week:-)

BlueSky1969

Hi all;

I wanted to let you know my right side Mx and SNB is sked'd for this Tues. I decided to undergo 2 stage reconstruction. The second surgery will address any symmetry issues w the L side. Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

With thanks for all you support over the last 2 months. I would've been so much harder without you all. I had no sense of the excruciating waiting involved

wrenn

Keep us posted on how you are doing Bluesky. It does seem like this is really dragging out. xo

Marian, I was looking for something on my calendar (which I basically use as a diary to keep track of things) and I had noted "nausea" in the middle of the last week of the research project. That was the week of the Obduction game. I hadn't made the connection at the time but I was using a lot of ginger gravol that week. Interesting.

hugz4u

Wrenn the Obduction game made me motionsick a bit once I got into the cart driving with the lazer beam, that was today and I told Gordon today that I layed down and just watched the clouds go by, that helped. He way ok with that.

Monday I start meditation video which I had a peek at and was a bit dizzy but got over it. I told my friend who has whole body nerve pain(RSD disease) and he said he uses an airplane simulator to keep his pain away but it comes back as soon as he finishes the game. He also learned cake decorating to distract his pain. I would think ginger to be helpful.

moth

Best wishes for your surgery BlueSky!

wrenn

Hugz I don't think I got as far as you in the game. I don't remember a cart. I was not very good at solving anything really and used the walkthrough a lot.

hugz4u

Bluesky. Thinking of you. We'll be in your back pocket tomorrow. Let us know how you did as soon as your up to it. Have a few things that you will need ready by bedside. Water jug, books, meds,robe, underwear socks for easy donning. Lots of pillows handy. Flushable Baby wipes might make things easier for tidying up down under. Someone mentioned that they put two sheets on and peel off after a few days top one revealing cleaner bottom. Chicken noodle soup packages are easy digestion with a egg whipped in while cooking it. Simple but good go to protein. This will get you started.

BlueSky1969

hugz4u, Moth, Wrenn, Marian, Dobie and all:

Thank you! Am enjoying a cup of coffee, listening to the birdies chirp and about to attack my stacks of books and other detritus in my room, bathroom, and pack for overnight. Am headed on a drugstore run later w list in hand, will add your item to my list along with some glamorous stool softeners

Your support has made this infinitely easier. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, xo

wrenn

we’ll be in the OR with youhelping with the deep breathing...breast cancer doulas.

You’re doing great. x

DearLife

Will be thinking of you BlueSky. Keep thinking of the birdies and the blossoms to keep you calm. Warmest wishes for your recovery.

NVDobie

Moth

Hope things are improving for you every day.

I spent two nights in ER myself in the last few days. Delayed allergic reaction to chemo as i am told. swollen hands, faces, itchy rash flaring up different places.Chest pain and hard time swallowing things. It seems to be under the control a bit now. still have half face full of rash, itchy hands and feet, but swollen is coming down a bit. almost look like I had Botox injection of sort.

when i called BC cancer on Friday about it., my MO were too busy to see me. Go figure. So one more ER visit Friday night. I ended up calling the BC cancer physical on call twice a day when new symptom appears.Based on their instructions either go to ER or taking the steroids at home.

Finally got hold of my MO today, first thing he said was not" How is your side effect now". instead his first comments was: Please do not call that often, it is for emergency only. I was a bit speechless. He went on to say there are not a lot of they could do for the side effects such as this, continue with steroids at home and seek ER if issue becomes severe.

@.

It further enforces my belief that I need to advocate for my own care. As a patient, I am not educated on rare side effects, nor how to treat them. It is a bit shocking to hear from my MO that I shouldn't have made this a big deal. One of physician on call actually said, call us when you have difficult breathing. I almost wanted to laugh, I should called 911 I cant breath, it will be stupid of me to call the BC cancer switch board and wait for 10 min for Doc to call back while I couldn't breath.

Sorry, venting a little.

One Doc said they should cancel the last chemo, one Doc said they should check more things on my blood work, my MO said he will switch to a new chemo for the last cycle. so we will see.

Hope all your ladies are doing well.

hugz4u

Dobie. Eeeeks this is a horror story. When I was deathly ill my sis drove me straight to bcca and we lined up at booking desk saying I needed to see someone urgently. My mo was not there but they scheduled me someone ASAP. This was daytime and out of the norm to do but it worked. They admitted me to vgh with basically no white cell count. Squeaky wheel here worked this time.

Yes push and keep pushing. I don’t know how older folks from the generation that just sits and accepts doctors orders do it! They must be dying like flys

BlueSky1969

NVDobie; That sounds so uncomfortable, scary w the chest pains, and a terrible hassle. I'm sorry you were treated that way.

Roaming_Star

NVDobie - wow - I can't believe your MO said that! I am apologizing on their behalf for you. Shitty treatment - it would be nice to be treated as a human being with concern, empathy and response for care instead of being made to feel shame for feeling sick and scared. This is what I have learned to do as well is to keep advocating even when they make me feel ashamed for asking for help in an overburdened system. Then I keep track of all this that I have experienced and when I get some breathing space and feel more healthier I plan on writing a letter of recommendations from my experience. A lot of times it just feels like poor service.