January 2012 chemo

NancyHB

Joyce:  My hair is just now starting to come in.  I think it was the dd nature of my Taxol; my hair did not start growing, really, until I finished.  It's about 1/8" all over my head, with a few long stray hairs.  And I have yet to wear my wig - I only wear scarves.  So far, I haven't had a chance to lose any hair.  :-)

I started running again this week - 2.1 miles today (a good portion of that is walking, so don't think I'm really good yet!)  I used to run, and I haven't been able to for the last 4 months.  I'm planning to get back into my yoga classes later this week, too.  My plan is to run a 5k in October - maybe September, if I'm lucky.  I didn't think about asking for an Rx for PT - thanks for the suggestion!

Jennt28

OK ladies. Usually when I go visit one of my research sites I get nowhere near patient areas. Today I am at a small centre and they have put me in an office off the chemo suite! Very weird not sitting in one of the recliners with the other patients...



When I arrived, in wig, I am sure the receptionist thought I was there for treatment because she sent me to the patient waiting area ;-)



Jenn

MNGirlyGirl

I go into the CO for my 3 month follow up today.  I am finally starting to feel like my old normal again (except for the extra 20 lbs. I gained over the last 8 months).  Hair is coming in but very short!  I hardly wear any head gear any more.  But sometimes will do if walking to work downtown because I get sick of people looking at me.  Plus, the hair is getting to the point where some people might think I have it this short on purpose!!!  LOL!  Still feel like an ugly boy sometimes, but getting better all the time.

Denise-G

Nancy - wow, you are picking it up in the exercise department!  Good for you! 

Jenn - Oh back in the chemo suite for work.  Geez, can't get away can you?   Hope in spite of the work you are getting some YOU TIME!

MNGirlyGirl - HAIR - my hair was always blonde, then turned dishwater.  Have been coloring it blonde for YEARS.  When I had my first chemo before hair fell out, it turned black.  It left my had black.  It has come in PLATINUM BLONDE.  Not quite old man white, but Marilyn Monroe Platinum.  At least that is what I am telling myself!  It is about 1/2 inch - thinner on top, curlier in back.  Hair was always poker straight.  Should be interesting!  Just thankful it is HAIR!

FLDREAMER

I feel like a 'black sheep.'   I've stayed away so long, I'm not sure you'll remember me!   I started here in January but since my chemo actually started in Feb, I mainly posted on that board.  But, I missed many weeks on there as well.   I just haven't had the energy to keep up.

In the past few days, I've read every page since I was last on here (since page 62).   I can't possibly comment on everything that's happened but know this.......I never stopped thinking about any of you.  I do care.  I am so happy for those of you who are done with chemo.   And sad for those still having problems.  

I have my next to last Taxol today.  And the final one next Thursday.  Then,  I have four weeks off before I start 30 or 35 RADS sometime in late July.  They will be daily (M-F) till done.

I've been super depressed and wondered if all this was worth it.  But here I am nearly done.   The emotional difficulties I had with my eldest daughter took their toll on me and I am trying hard to just concentrate on me.  I just don't have the energy to let her affect me anymore.  I stil care but just can't let it get to me like I used to.

Regarding Facebook:  Not sure if I'll join your group or not.  I guess I'll have to think about that.  There is just too much to keep up with.  Just reading my emails and my personal FB keeps me too busy!  Maybe when I have more energy I'll feel different.

A big thank you to all who PM me and were concerned as to how I'm doing.  Some of my responses were maybe a little too long and involved.  Forgive me for that.  I certainly can digress at times.   Hugs      to all !!!

MNGirlyGirl

Oh Denise, you are lucky to have the Marilyn Monroe hair!!!  Mine is still dark brown (with a few grays here and there) but too short to tell whether it will be curly or not.  That's crazy that it turned black before it fell out!

 Fldreamer:  Hang in there you are on the back end of this stuff.  I finished my rads May 14.  I thought the rads would be a peice of cake but found they were a lot more difficult than the chemo.  Don't get me wrong, I was crazy scared of the chemo, but I was given an IV to make me feel calm and fuzzy, had a nice lounger chair with warm blankets, a TV and a nurse doting over me.  The rads on the other hand are every day, cold bright room with large machines, nurses who run out of the room when the radiation begins and can't move the whole time.  I broke down twice during rads, once at the beginning (overwhelmed with the 33 sessions and all the measuring, etc.) and again at the end.  Just remember that it is temporary.  Cross off each session and they will whiz by.  Today I am one month out from treatments and beginning to feel myself again -- actually better than I've felt in a very long time.  You can get through this.  Take it one day at a time.    Just know you are kicking cancer's ass!!

Kathy

Denise-G

FLDREAMER -   I got really emotional on the last 2 Taxols.  It just feels like it all will never end and then you have to deal with the Rad planning.  I cried for 3 days after I saw the RO.  It was like I almost finished a Marathon and they said, "Oops, you have 10 more miles to run."  UGH.   

To give you one word of encouragement, I started feeling better within 2 weeks of final Taxol.  Today I am 4 weeks out and feeling 80% of my old self even going through Rads.  Chemo brain and feeling so emotional have subsided dramatically because I feel so much better.

Thoughts, prayers and encouragement to you!   Plus, that darn Decadron - mood swings!!

JoyceNYC

As horrible as the actual chemo drugs are (and I sure had my share of side effects), I think the various steroids we all have received have in some ways have taken just as great a toll on us.  I can deal with havimg no hair but the mood swings were no picnic either.  Those effects almost broke my spirit, especialy during the 4th and 5th cycles.  It's sad that the steroids, which are so important in keeping SE as minimal as possible, have their own terrible SE.  I still struggle with those today, two months since last tx.

FLDMR and all those still in tx: hang in there -- it's almost over.  And we are here with you.

 To all those finished: keep strong in recovery.

Kitchenella

Onc. called today to tell me I will be getting my last Taxol tomorrow along with my first mega dose of Herceptin.  I was sort of hoping the one Taxol I skipped would not be made up.  Oh well.

Peggy 

Janetanned

Peggy - I hope your final Taxol is uneventful!  I found I began to feel so much better after my last Taxol tx.  I had forgotten just how good 'normal' could feel. I am Her-, so no herceptin.  I just finished rads and found it very doable.  I have some radiation dermatitis, but not too bad.  I will start a hormone suppressant next week.  I see my mo this Friday for the prescription.

For anyone starting rads - I bought myself 3 hospital gowns to wear during tx.  Its so much nicer than wearing the one provided by the radiation center.  I'm done, so if anyone wants mine (only worn for 2 weeks) i will gladly ship them.  They are rather large and not very heavy, but clean and functional. 

Kitchenella

Thankx Jane

Jennt28

Hope your last goes by today with no problems Peggy :-)



Joyce - the steroids have given me bilateral cataracts at the age of 47 :-/



Jenn

JoyceNYC

Peggy, can you see us standing at the finish line cheering for you?

JoyceNYC

Jenn, I had some vision changes during chemo, but the MO said to wait a few months before getting a checkup = and many of the issues have begun to resolve, as she predicted.  What were your symptoms?

Jennt28

I started cleaning my glasses all the time thinking they were smudged but worked out it wasn't my glasses, it was actually my eyesight that was cloudy/smudgy...



Jenn

JoyceNYC

What's happening with eyebrows/eyelashes?  Although my last tx was April 20, both keep falling out!  My hair is slowing growing but the eyebrows/eyelashes falling out is annoying!

NancyHB

Same thing with me, Joyce.  I'm now 4 weeks PFC and some slow hair growth, but nothing on the eyelash/eyebrow front.  :-(

Jennt28

I'm giving up on my hair growing properly anytime soon. It actually started growing about 12 weeks ago in about week 3 of my weekly Taxol/Herceptin. But not all of my follicles have regrown hair so it is very "thin" but over 1 inch long. I am almost 5 weeks out from last chemo and no sign of anymore hairs growing :-/



So I have the wig lady coming over on Saturday (Wigs on Wheels!) and I have told her I want to reorder the same one again and I'll also now get another shorter one. I got my centre to write me a referral letter which means I will be able to claim back against my health insurance.



As to eyelashes - they fell out at the beginning of Taxol and no sign of any growing back.



Eyebrows - they fell out at the beginning of Taxol (all except for about 4 on each side) and no sign of any growing back.



Jenn

Kitchenella

I'm finished!  Thank G-d.

I took a huge bag of plums from my very fertile plum tree to the nurses.  Have my appointment with the radiation doc. next Thursday.

 Onward!!!

Momof2inME

Congratulations!!! All finished, you did it!!

KristinFro

Congrats, Kitchenella!!!

annie3310

Hi, everyone. I had my lumpectomy today. I'm a little woozy and uncomfortable, but basically fine. One thing about having neo-adjuvant chemo is that everything after it doesn't seem so bad. I also had my port removed during the surgery, which I'm thrilled about. Now I'm resting and letting my partner Linda treat me like royalty.



A friend lent me a book called "Cancer Made Me a Shallower Person," by Miriam Engleberg. It's a graphic novel/collection of cartoons and it's hysterical. All of us going through this process can connect with the simple truths she touches on. Highly recommended. I believe it's available on Amazon.



Hope everyone is doing well.

Annie

Denise-G

Annie, so glad you made it through Lumpectomy today and PORT IS OUT!  Hooray!

Take care of yourself and recover slowly!

Going to go check out that book...thanks for recommendation!

JoyceNYC

Annie, congrats!  Take it easy and rest and recover!

SleeplessIn

Congrats Peggy and Annie!!! On to a new chapter now.... :-)

Jenn, like you, I have been having problems with my lungs (as well as ribs), and eyes (poor, blurry sight). Joints and bones hurt (especially the back, knee and hip bones), although I am glad to report that I finally had a bone scan, and it was ok!!! - You had asked about the "window" between the end of chemo and start of radiation, my RO (at a highly ranked university clinic) said they like to start within 8 weeks after end of chemo, however, their "window" is up to 12 weeks! I was 8 weeks out from chemo last Wednesday, and my team was thinking I may change my mind - which I am not. It took me a lot of agonizing to come to this conclusion, but after (too much?) reading a lot of studies and papers, and "listening" to my body, I know that I can Not do radiation. I will see my surgeon for my 6 month follow up soon, and am going to ask about possibly having a mastectomy instead. We will see. We all have to make and live with our choices, and it is not easy.

I had a total of 8 eyebrows and 6 eyelashes after chemo, and now my brows are back almost completely and my eyelashes are also, almost 1/2 the length they were before.  

Positive thoughts and hugs to all of you. I am so glad to have been part of this group on our shared journey during these past months. It made it all more bearable, albeit not "easy" per se. :-)

NCbeachgal

Way to go Peggy! Onward!

NCbeachgal

Annie-restore and recover! Thanks for the book recommendation. Thank goodness for your partner! Be well to you both!

Jennt28

Hey Sleepless!



Sounds like we have a lot of SEs in common... I got an appt with the physio dept yesterday for my ongoing shoulder, back and side pain. MO only did the referral the day before and they had a cancellation so I got a call. After a lot of testing the lovely physio found THE spot which turns out to be a rib/spinal joint. A bit of massage and then some strapping that I am supposed to leave on until my appt next week, and I left feeling so much better. I am starting rads on that side on Tuesday so I hope the rads dept won't object to the strapping on my back - they shouldn't since they are only interested in my front!



I too am NOT happy about rads but everyone seems happy with my lung function after the pneumonitis and despite reading many many academic research papers I couldn't find a single one that disagreed with the fact that rads cuts the recurrance rate significantly for women like me with positive nodes. And every paper that addressed long term side effects stated that despite the risk the benefits were still significant. As a researcher myself I just have to accept that statistically I am doing the right thing even though it feels like the wrong thing. So on Tuesday afternoon I will angrily turn up for my first session ]^#|#}}#^}{%{}^%}]^{}%}{{% !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because "my" machine closes for maintenance on a Friday once a month my 28 days will not finish until Monday 6th August :-(



Went for my first 3 weekly Herceptin without premeds late yesterday afternoon. Felt good afterwards. Had some muscle and bone pain overnight along with a racing heartbeat and this morning I am sitting here with my eyes streaming. Nothing too bad though.



Jenn

Jennt28

YAY Annie - port out must feel so good! :-)



Jenn

JoyceNYC

How are everyone's nails?  My fingernails have those ridge lines but otherwise are hanging in -- but my toenails are another story.  I think two are dead -- one broke today when I banged my foot into a table leg and I'm trying to not even touch the other one.  Has anyone heard hints or helps?