Calling All with Tumors 6 cm +

cdairth

Eve, I have to echo Iago. I had a cough before chemo, which turned out to be nothing. I have another cough now which is likely from rads. I know mets are always possible, but a negative SNB is still a good sign.

MMTOMH

Hello ladies!

How's everyone doing? Eve, how's the cough? Did you get your bone scan and CT results? Hope you are doing well.

 I'm having a bit of rough day today with an "icky" tummy and my hair falling out...I really just want to cry!  I'm hungry and I feel like I will vomit if I eat anything...boo!  So much for kicking chemo's butt!

J-Bug

MMTOMH: I am sorry you are having a rough day. If you get nauseous remember the meds they give you for that. That is one of the side effects that we don't have to live with, although I never felt 100% on eating and stomach issues through chemo. You will kick cancer's butt, I am not so sure about chemo's butt. : )

I have been feeling kind of down this week. I was fighting a cold again. I got my first one in well over a year right as radiation started in January. Just as I thought that that one was going away, I got hit again with a much worse one this week. I thought I was dying! (I exaggerate...) It was the whole nine yards all over again with sore throat, ear pain, nose running like a faucet... I finally got a job interview lined up and was scheduled for Thursday. Thursday morning I e-mailed my contact and told him that I had the flu and didn't want to bring that into their offices. He thanked me for my consideration and we rescheduled for Monday. My daughter said exactly what I was thinking, "Who calls in SICK for a JOB interview??!!!" Sad, she is 14. My RO gave me some Oxycodone and encouraged me to not try so hard to avoid pain meds, not that she wanted me to become a pill popper, but I was in the last couple of weeks of rads, not sleeping and in pain and not even taking Tylenol. I just didn't want to be sleeping all the time as I was at the end of chemo. I took one and started sleeping again. I am using a heating pad on the sore ear and that is getting better. I received another interview request and now I have to rest up to be able to kick butt next week! 

I also have been trying to reign in my attitude this week. I keep reading things on here about people having problems with sore nipples or sore breasts from rads or things like that. I usually don't think about it too much, but this week I just keep thinking - you HAVE breasts and ALL you've done is a lumpectomy and radiation? Really?

This week my MO recommended an oopherectomy along with Tamoxifen. I was trying to think about when I could sign up for DIEP flap reconstruction, not additional surgery. I didn't like going back into the MO's office this week. It made me feel like I had cancer or something! : )

I am sorry that my post is so grumbly. I always work to keep any bad attitude out of my posts because I know that we don't need to bring each other down. I will work on this and do better next time! Promise!!! 

MMTOMH

Oh J-bug!  'm sorry you've been through the ringer!  I really hope that the oxy will help you sleep and the sleep will help you heal!  Good luck on the job interviews!  I get what you are saying about the lumpectomy and rads...I just read a book about a cancer "survivor" who has such a slow moving cancer that they have NO symptoms, had NO treatment, just the CT's to follow it...what the heck? How can you be at the same level?  The only things that changed in that person's life was what they chose to change (other than the fact they know they have cancer and that affects everything, but I just don't see how it can as much when you don't have to feel bad, have chemo, undergo surgery or radiation, etc.)! Ugh!  Anyhow...feel better!

J-Bug

I know the first time I read that someone was a stage 0, I was flabbergasted that there was such a thing. I try so hard to not get down on others because they have less illness, because it can still kill any of us. I am just moping this week, putzing around in my own misery. It will get better.

MMTOMH

I think we all need days like that now and then just to keep sane! Hang in there!

twistedsteel

J bug.

It all sucks. I get judgmental too. I too recognize how silly it is. CA is CA. But when it's BIG and scary and advanced... Well, you know. In this whole journey I was most apprehensive about mastectomy. And that has been the easiest for me as far as recovery. I asked for BMX but BS said, in essence, no. She said get through surgery, rads, Xeloda and then recover some. Come back in a year and they will remove breast if I still want and do recon all at same time.



Anyway, when it sucks, the best thing is to get on here and bitch bitch bitch, piss and moan, complain and carry on. Let it all hang out. Stuffed up emotions and fake happiness does none of us any good here among sistas.

J-Bug

Thank you ladies. I always look at it as not stuffing my emotions, but just not spitting out all my negative thoughts, sharing positive thoughts, etc. That has just not worked for me today. It's ALL hanging out! 

Okay, Oxycodone and good sleep with no rads tomorrow... Again, I appreciate the emotional encouragement. 

shells43

Hi J-Bug, are you feeling a little better today? Thinking of you.

Eve1956

Thank you for the explanation Lago, I had never heard that expression. I hope your 3rd liver scan also turns up nothing. Please keep us posted as we are all so worried about one another.

My news, I have never felt so much relief in my life. After so mant tests, they tell me I am still cancer free! The Onco & Pulmo differ on what is wrong with my rib, with 1 saying it's a fracture and another saying it's radiation damage but at this point I don't care. All I know is nothing lit up on my bone scan!

Onco wants me to have a bone density soon, to compare to my baseline I had done before chemo. 

My cough is still with me but my CT Angio looked OK except for a nodue the Pulmo wants to keep and eye on, and wants to follow-up with a CT Scan in June. 

It's amazing the effect this good news has had on me. Now instead of thinking about the end of my life, I'm focused on the menu I'll serve for Super Bowl Sunday and little issues have become menaagable again.

I feel very blessed but hate that every little ache gets blown up into "Has the cancer spread?"

Enjoy the weekend dear ones!   

lago

Yay Eve… now don't you scare me like that again. Seriously this might be some stuff related to radiation that may resolve but no cancer is good!

Don't worry about me I know I'm fine. I think because I got a pass on radiation they are now giving it to me in the form of CT scans The last 2 were fine I'm sure this one will be too.

J-Bug

Good evening large lump ladies! I appreciate the support. I am doing much better today. I think I slept about twelve hours. I got up and made the family some steel cut oatmeal with apples and a touch of brown sugar. The sun was out for an hour or so while I was awake, so I opened up all the blinds and let it in. 

Eve1956: If you do have radiation damage on your rib, does it make it more fragile? DId your doctor say how common it is to get radiation damage? I am glad that you have good news. 

lovinmomma

J bUg glad you are feeling better. it is amazing what a good nights sleep can do.

Yay Eve. that is great news.

cdairth

Eve 1956 and J-Bug: Glad you are both okay! It is amazing how things can turn around with good news and a little sunshine. I've never heard of bone problems from radiation either; it doesn't surprise me though. 

lago

What's with some these doctors? I mean I didn't have radiation yet I knew about it possible causing some bone issues in the area. Wish all doctors would have a printed page of care and possible SE with all treatments. I know the binder I got for chemo was extremely helpful.

Anonymous

Hi, J-Bug - you doing any better?

(I'm down for the count again, after getting hit by the TDM1 train. I feel like I was in the ring with a boxing heavyweight yesterday and lost the fight. I'm amazed these bruised and aching muscles aren't black and blue today.)

Anonymous

And I'm steeling up my courage to take that itty bitty tamoxifen pill. Been putting it off. Gonna start next week.

Ossa

windlass

I have been taking tamoxifen for 2 months now.. minimal side effects.. a few more hotflashes and some bone (knee) pain

J-Bug

Hi windlass, I am doing better. I am sorry that the TDM1 is kicking your behind! I will do Tamoxifen when rads are done, possibly an oopherectomy too.

I had a flu bug this week and was trying to juggle radiation and job interviews. The struggle that I am having is feeling up to fighting to prove myself in the real world again. As a graphic designer, the employers demand a lot of you before hiring. For example, one that I interviewed with last week asked me if they could "try me out for a bit" by working with me on one project that would take about a week. He asked for some sketches last night to be in his e-mail by morning. Then I was up until 2am, up at 5:30 to get kids out to bus and me to radiation. I wanted rads to go fast, but they are checking me daily with the doctor right now because the wound is so open right now. So they decided to skip a treatment, but spend over an hour on wound care. After all that, I was too exhausted and nauseous to get to an interview that I had planned for this afternoon. I had to reschedule. It's so humiliating to not be able to keep up. Rads are over after six more treatments. I hope the energy will get better then. 

anafoefana

Hi all,

I have been fighting a cold (like J-Bug) for over a week.  I took off from work on Friday and Monday, but we had a federal audit on Tuesday and I needed to be there. I went in yesterday and today and will go back tomorrow, but I feel pretty crappy.  The stuffy nose is not getting better and I have a very dry non-productive cough.  It has been awful during my rads treatments because my throat starts itching and I have to hold it and not cough.  Yesterday they were taking pictures and I just couldn't contain it and I coughed. My eyes were tearing from trying to hold it and my glasses got stuck to my eyelids... it was a mess.  They had to do the pictures again today and I barely made it through the treatment. It was a huge relief to cough!  

J-Bug, glad you are better. Sorry to hear you are having skin issues.   I had #21 out of 33  today and am a little pink, but holding up okay otherwise.  I only have 4 more whole breast treatments. It is hard not to be in control of our lives.  I think that although I try to accept things as they come, it is really hard not to be able to do what you want or need to do.  But, you are almost done with rads and hopefully the next part won't be hard.  

My sister in law has just been diagnosed.  She is stage 0, ISDC.  She does not know yet what they are going to do besides a lumpectomy.  She may not have to have rads, but I  am pretty sure she will have Tamoxifen, as she is ER+PR- HER2-.  There are too many people with this! 

5kidsMom

Wondering if I can jump in here and join you ladies.  My tumor was 6x7x6 and you all are discussing so many things that have been on my mind!  I especially love the "did they catch it early" question--bugs me so much!! 

You know they say misery loves company. . . . I'm just encouraged to hear of all these other women with large tumors.  When people hear how big my tumor was, it seems they look at me like I have 2 heads.  My whole breast wasn't much larger than the tumor it would seem!  I know the next question they want to ask is "how did YOU miss that?!"  So often I've felt as if having a tumor this big was somehow MY fault--I should have "caught it" before it got that big.  

My quick story. . . had a mammogram at 35, put off the one at 40 till just past my 41st birthday--still breastfeeding my youngest.  Interestingly, he had rejected the breast where the tumor was, from the time he was about 8 mos old.  At 41 I felt a lump, went to the doc who did NOT feel it, then started the whole mammo, call back for mammo/ultrasound, biopsy routine.  

For you all still doing rads--keep the faith, it will be over and DONE eventually, even if it seems never ending right now!!  I'm fair, did 38 rads and my skin was a mess at the end.  From what I gather, skin care matters   Whatever skin care they recommended, I did at least twice as often as they said, and I think it really helped.  

Keep the faith, we can make it through treatment and to the other side!

Ossa

Welcome momof5, sorry you have to join us, but glad you found us.. Keep strong.. we can all do this

lago

"How did you miss that?" I'm still wondering how my gyno missed it 5 weeks before my mammo/US. The US lady kept saying "what is this hard area. Is it always this hard?" I never felt any lump. My tumor was in the posterior region and my breasts were very dense.

I too had small breasts. 6.5cm sounded like 1/3 of my breast. It's not your fault. Geez I even had a scare (call back for US) 4 years prior and still no one caught this. Same spot too. My BS said I had a fast growing tumor and it was only there for 4 years! (Typically it's more like 8-10).

Elizabeth1959

I had a 16 cm tumor with large, dense breasts.  When I went to see the breast surgeon, he said, "I think maybe I can feel it."  No one was able to palpate it when I had either of my two biopsies. Prior to surgery, I was told I had multicentric disease.  It turned out to be one long, skinny tumor.  The tumor didn't image well on MRI either.  I also felt like I must be crazy or slightly suicidal to have "ignored" such an enormous tumor.  The whole thing just makes me sad.

J-Bug

Welcome 5kidsMom! My doctor described my tumor as having finger-like projections that spread all around. The us tech described it as "murkey looking". I feel like I have some understanding how this got missed based on those descriptions and how little I could feel it.

I saw my MO last week and he told me that I "get an A+ for skin care". The very next day is when it first started breaking down. Since I am home a lot right now and looking for work, I put tons of the skin care regime on, but it never seems to be enough. I also have an "exit burn" across my back from the clavical area in a nice neat little square. 

Anonymous

J-Bug: You are doing rads so soon after your surgery! Mine was ages and ages later. (Surgery in Feb, started rads in Dec)

J-Bug

windlass: I might say that it seems like your rads started an awfully long time after your surgery. : )

Anonymous

*laugh* You're right, J-Bug. I had tons and tons of chemo after my surgery, so I guess you neo-adjuvant gals get it in the other order.

Ca1Ripken

5kids... Welcome. ... My youngest was 3 when I was diagnosed and he had also rejected the breast... Funny because I then resorted to pumping and bottles and my tumor side didn't make as much milk. And I had annual mammos... Was about 6 months overdue on this one but they were all clear even the one before diagnosis. And I always tell ppl my tumor didn't feel like a lump it just felt like the side of my breast hardened. I was the first to feel it. (I was 41 and my mom had DCIS when she was 55)... Guess my daughter earned annual mammos at 31!



Elizabeth... I have trouble understanding how some women on here with 1 cm rumors say they felt it... But my breasts are dense and there is no way we (me and my doctors) felt this before!! I just tell ppl it was "big and aggressive" and leave it at that...only answering what they ask.

anafoefana

I had a history of lumpy breasts, they came and went for years.  I noticed my tumor when it was the size of a pea, a year ago.  I had a trip planned to Japan the end of March, and I really didn't want anything to get in the way of that, so I was going to go to the doctor when I came back mid April if the lump was still there.  When I got back from my trip, it was still there, and a little bigger.  I made an appt with my ob and she could not see me until the end of  May.  Then, life happened, I was overwhelmed at work and forgot about my lump.  Mid May I noticed the lump was huge, from pea size to lemon size.  I am not very big, so it was noticeable.  I went to my PC, who sent me for a mammo and ultra sound the next day.  I had a biopsy the next week and my official diagnosis on June 10th.  Everything moved very quickly after that.  My MO said my cancer was very aggressive, but fortunately my tumor was mostly in situ.

I don't like to go around telling people how bad it was for me in the beginning, but I feel that people think that BC is no big deal.  Most people say "good thing they caught it early",  well it was not early, and I just let it slide because there is so much people don't know.  I didn't know either until I was diagnosed, so I try not to be too judgemental. 

Leanna9,  I think that if a person knows her body,  she can detect changes, even if they are small.  I guess it might be harder for someone who has large breasts, but I think it is very common for women to detect their tumors before they are picked up by a dr. or mammo.