Some levity to share

Anonymous

The following poem was written by a sister survivor and appeared in several places around the time that I was going through treatment. I appreciated it, feeling as though sometimes all you can do is laugh. So I hope that some of you might get a smile from it as well:

The Night Before Chemo

                             ~Heather Warrick

T'was the night before chemo, when all through the room

Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume

The chemo bags were hung on IV poles with care

In hopes that a cure soon would be there

The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs

Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears

And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig

Had just settled down for another chemo gig

When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass

Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze

The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease

When what to my wondering eyes did I see?

Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee

Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet

With a mission of cancer that they would beat

To help with side effects from chemo we blame

Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name

"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!

Let's offer comfort with bob bons and magazines

On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! And morphine!

Let's make them loopy and make a big scene!"

To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope

Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope

With tumors and lesions and lumps it is clear

We must make their cancer finally disappear!

So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew

With a sleigh full of drugs and the doctor too

Then with a jingling I heard from their purse

Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse

As I drew in my head and was turning around

In through the vent the doctor came with a bound

His eyes how they twinkled - his dimples so merry

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry

He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie

He preached to the patients, "Do not ask why"

Have courage, choose hope and just think positive

Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative

Never forget that you are heroes in my book

Conquering cancer without a second look

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head

He soon let me know I had nothing to dread

A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back

He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack

He spoke not a word but went straight to work

Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk

A human pin cushion, I had become

So multiple pokes, again I succumb

But then I remembered, my life he was saving

So I realized I better start really behaving

"What comes around goes around" I always say

And a bad attitude might haunt me one day

I thanked him for fighting with me side by side

With two against one, cancer cannot hide

Then laying his finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, up the vent he rose

He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign

To travel the world fighting cancer like mine

The sleigh was our hope and he was the driver

Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor

I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight

Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!

The Night Before Chemo

                             ~Heather Warrick

T'was the night before chemo, when all through the room

Not a patient was stirring, from Ativan I presume

The chemo bags were hung on IV poles with care

In hopes that a cure soon would be there

The patients were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs

Sipping Ensure and hugging Relay teddy bears

And the nurse in her scrubs and I in my wig

Had just settled down for another chemo gig

When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the blinds and threw up on the glass

Soothing my nausea with the fresh cool breeze

The wind took my wig and it flew with such ease

When what to my wondering eyes did I see?

Eight tiny nurses giggling with glee

Leading the pack was an oncologist so sweet

With a mission of cancer that they would beat

To help with side effects from chemo we blame

Was his arsenal of drugs that he shouted by name

"Now Xanax!, now Ativan!, now Zofran! and Compazine!

Let's offer comfort with bob bons and magazines

On Vicodin!, on Darvocet!, on Tylenol! And morphine!

Let's make them loopy and make a big scene!"

To the top of Mt. Courage, to the top of Mt. Hope

Now dash away, dash away so we can help cope

With tumors and lesions and lumps it is clear

We must make their cancer finally disappear!

So up to the clinic-top, they flew and flew

With a sleigh full of drugs and the doctor too

Then with a jingling I heard from their purse

Was the prancing and pawing of each little nurse

As I drew in my head and was turning around

In through the vent the doctor came with a bound

His eyes how they twinkled - his dimples so merry

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry

He was dressed all in white with an ugly plaid tie

He preached to the patients, "Do not ask why"

Have courage, choose hope and just think positive

Live, love and laugh and your life will be lucrative

Never forget that you are heroes in my book

Conquering cancer without a second look

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head

He soon let me know I had nothing to dread

A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back

He looked like a drug dealer opening his pack

He spoke not a word but went straight to work

Making me feel sick, so I called him a jerk

A human pin cushion, I had become

So multiple pokes, again I succumb

But then I remembered, my life he was saving

So I realized I better start really behaving

"What comes around goes around" I always say

And a bad attitude might haunt me one day

I thanked him for fighting with me side by side

With two against one, cancer cannot hide

Then laying his finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, up the vent he rose

He sprang to his sleigh, gave the nurses a sign

To travel the world fighting cancer like mine

The sleigh was our hope and he was the driver

Bringing strength and good cheer to every survivor

I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight

Happy Holidays to all and to all a good night!v

etherize

Love it!   Thanks for sharing!  :-)

I agree that sometimes all you can do is laugh -- especially when it all seems so overwhelming.

I'm in the midst of treatment and just found myself indulging in some black humor.  I hope nobody is offended (that's NOT my intention!) but .. here is my list of Christmas carols for a "pink" Christmas:

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Chemo!

Deck The Halls ("with IV Tubing")

All I Want for Christmas is My Two Old Boobs

The 12 Weeks of Chemo ("and a new wi-ig on my bald head")

Silent Spouse 

Away in a Hot Flash

Chestnuts Roasting on a Rads Machine

God Rest Ye, My Oncologist

It Came Upon a Mammogram

I'm Dreaming of a Pink Christmas

Jingle Drains

Hark, The Herald Surgeons Sing!

Here Comes Portacath

And that all-time classic ... Oy to the World