MIL belongs on a broomstick

PLJ

Edited

Today is for making memories...enjoy every moment! Dx: May 3/11. 1 cm Mixed Mucinous Carcinoma inside 6 cm DCIS Stage 1, Grade 2, 0/1 Node, Oncotype 16, ER+/PR+, Her2-

voraciousreader

My MIL is gone now.  I haven't any pleasant memories of her.  When I fell in love with her son, she acted like I was invisible.  On the day we married, she went into a wheelchair and shortly thereafter became a quadriplegic.  The last twenty years of her long life were tragic.  Now that I am the age that she was when I met her son, I wonder what kind of MIL I will make.  None of my children are married.  One of them, my daughter is on the verge of getting married and will make me a MIL in the not too distant future and I am frightened. I've had no proper role model.  I never had a MIL to speak of, so I have no way of knowing what is the appropriate way to behave.  I don't think there is any book written on how a MIL is supposed to behave.  If I were in your shoes, I would probably have a very long talk with your beloved DH.  Perhaps your MIL can only visit when the both of you are present and he can be your buffer and supporter. In fact, I would make it very clear to the DH that she is NOT welcome in YOUR home unless he is there.  No point in talking with her. She probably won't change.  All you can hope for is that your husband supports you emotionally.  I would NEVER have put my husband in the middle of the two of us.  Not fair to him.  Nor is it fair for her to walk all over you and hurt you.  The DH needs to step up to the plate and be firmly supportive of you.  And after she leaves, a glass of wine can't hurt.  Nor can it hurt before she arrives either! 

Oh, and one more thing...you should see the birthday cards I get from my own mother and we're close! Once, she signed my birthday card with her FIRST and LAST names! Another time, she spelled my name wrong! I'm telling you.....you can't win......The only thing I've learned from my mother is NOT to even give my OWN kids birthday cards....

Hang in there and talk to the DH!

PLJ