Just Joined the Stage III Family

MiniMacsMom

So I got the call from my Oncologist a few minutes ago... I am officially (pending scans) a stage IIIa.  I felt my lump 3ish months ago a few weeks after an OB appt and stopping nursing my son.  I had the initial lump check on 10/20, scans and biopsy 10/24.  Pos for IDC on 10/25. Mastectomy on my right side 11/3 and path report today 11/8.  Invasive and in-situ high grade ductal adenocarcinoma, tumor size 9x6x5cm.   4/13 dissected lymphnodes were infected.  Lowest clean margin is 2 mm.  Needless to say I am TERRIFIED.  I am starting chemo on the 18th, probably TAC, I have a second Opinion appt at Vandy on the 16th and we are waiting to hear back from MD Anderson to see if I can go there instead.  I am 27 with a 15 month old I am so terrified to leave.  Failure is not an option, but sometimes its hard to get out of the "dark" place.  I look forward to "meeting" some others in similar boat, though my heart is sad that you also have to be here.

sewingnut

You are right, Failure is not an option.  You will do what ever you have to for yourself and your family. What does your path report say about ER/PR, Her2 status?  There are threads on the boards for each chemo regime. Look at them.  All these women are a wealth of knowlegde and we will get you thru this. Good luck as you start this journey....

MaxineO

So sorry you had to join us.  These boards were a lifeline for me, especially early in the process.

It is good that you are getting a second opinion on your treatment options. There are a lot of schools of thought out there, but it sounds like you are on top of it.

The hardest part of all this for me has been having to go through it with kids (mine are 7 & 8).  But they are doing fine and I think it has brought our family a lot closer.   Remember, this is a treatable disease, and you are definitely not alone. We are here to help you through each step.  Sending you many good thoughts.

BlueCowgirl

MiniMacsMom,
Welcome to the club no one wants to join. You will find lots of support, information, humor, and new friends here.  

Without knowing your ER/PR/HER2 status, your pathology is almost identical to mine. I got the same chemo drugs, but administered as ACx4 then Tx4. You will get through this. Yes, it sucks, and yes, it changes your life...but you take it one step at a time.

Best wishes to you and hugs to you and your family. You are not alone, and this is a place you can come anytime 24/7 and be surrounded by support, knowledge and love.

MiniMacsMom

Hi guys.  Sorry for the lapse.  I am Estrogen Positive at 99% Progester Pos at 5% and Her 2 Negative.  The initial biopsy showed that I was 95% ER Positive.  I had been breast feeding for a year post baby, so the High ER, the Low ER while nursing and the ER spike post nursing is probably what "fed" the lurking tumor.  I am not a "lets rely on drugs" kinda person, but I really wish this xanax would kick in a little faster.    I feel like from Galactocele to Stage III cancer in 3 weeks plus mastectomy is just insane.  Oh well, I guess I should get over my little pity party   I got a little man to play with!

jennyboog

We're all due a pity party and they are fine, just don't stay too long at them.  Heck, I go there myself many days.  I'm sorry you've had to come here but your failure is not an option attitude will get you through this...keep it up.  My baby was 18 mths at my dx & I had a 4 yr old so I know how you feel.  I'm over a year out now and did TAC, it can be tough but it's doable and things do get better.  There are lots of tx options and there's hope so don't give up, come here often, we're here for you & this site has lots of info and support.  Are you in TN?  You said, Vandy...do you mean Vanderbilt?  Just curious, I lived in TN.  Hugs and prayers going your way sweetie.

Cat123

So sorry to hear about your diagnosis but everyone on these boards will give you so much guidance and are so inspiring.  I had a left mx one year ago with TE, dose dense ACT, TE exchange, 25 sessions of rads and I am now on Tamoxifen.  Since we have stage III, they throw the book at us and keep their eye on us which is a very comforting feeling.  Believe it or not the treatment will go by fast.  I was lucky to have tolerated everything pretty well....but I am tired right now!  My thoughts are with you!

ck55

I know how hard this is! But just to hopefully lend you some encouragement, it will be 5 years tomorrow that I was diagnosed with my large (9 CM) tumor with 2 of 16 nodes positive. Had right mx,   did the DD AC x 4 and the DD Taxol x 4 and then radiation. Been on Femara since 8/2007. Had DIEP reconstruction Oct 2009.

 It was not fun, but it absolutely doable! I am still here.Fat & sassy.

You can do it!

Good luck, Cyndi

Ellie1959

This is a crappy family to belong to - but we all share your fears and apprehensions. I had a very similar dx but was 45 at the time - pre-menopausal but my babies were grown into young men, I still never want to leave them though. I'm so sorry but please look around at all of the Stage III ladies who are still here - I did TAC- and 30 rads - then tamoxifen for about 4 years and I feel great now - and if I didn't have my chest to remind me (I had tram-flap recon) I honestly think I would never know now that I ever had it. It's taken me a while to get here but there is life after DX - and it's awesome most of the time. Lots of hugs - hang in there - {{{{{hugs}}}}}.

SharonMH

Hi, Wecome to the club that no one wants to belong. I also believe that failure is not a option. I had the same treatment as Cyndi. I agree it is not fun, but it is very doable. I did not do reconstruction. I have found this site to be very helpful. I am two years out and doing well. SharonH

Anonymous

MMM, I am so sorry for your diagnosis, sure you'll get valuable help & support from these boards.  PLEASE also check out the Young Survival Coalition.  I don't think they have a discussion forum on their website, but I do know there are YSC groups all over the country - and maybe someone lives near you.    http://www.youngsurvival.org/

I think you'll also find threads on this Board from younger women active with YSC.

All best wishes for your successful treatment - and years and YEARS with your wonderful son.

 

nowords

Like the others, sorry youhave to be here; treatments are not as harsh as the movies make them out to be-many side effect meds to help with that. Take help from all who want to offer it, hard part for me to do. Know that new treatments evolve and that todays statistics are based on old data. My children were older when I was diagnosed, as was I, but going to that "Dark" place is probably common to all of us. Allow yourself to be angry, sad, afraid - whatever you feel is valid. I am two plus years out from a stage 3 diagnosis with a tumor over 10 cms., less than a millimeter margin from chest wall and extra nodal extension of 7 of 22 nodes...some of the nodes were over a cm. The surgeon was grim after the pathology report, but more optimistic after a clean pet scan...I did rads, neo-adjuvant chemo and tamoxifen. Will participate in a vaccine trial to prevent recurrence at th Mayo next year. Proceed like you are living a large, rich  and long life - and this is a big frickin blip on the radar screen.

KerryMac

I just want to let you know that three years ago I was in the exact same place you are now - Dx Stage 3 while breastfeeding. My kids were 2 and 4. It is certainly overwhelming and very, very scary.

Just try and take things one day at a time right now. Don't think too far ahead. The next year will have plenty of challenges, but know you will be able to handle whatever comes your way. 

Good news is my kids do not really even remember when I was going through treatment. And I am doing really well - I just ran a half marathon last weekend, my third since I finished treatment! 

Hang in there - it will get better.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk! 

MiniMacsMom

Kerry, Thats sooo comfortable to hear about your bbs being ok.  My son has definatley shown more behavior issues, especially the more I am away from him.  Sometimes I worry that I am damaging him, but he seems to be ok as long as I am around.  When I got to Drs appt, he turns into a terror for whoever is watching him.  I am glad to hear your bbs don't have any long term damage.

 I re-read the path report after I calmed down, and I am wondering if they made a mistake now... Gotta wait to talk to onc tomorrow.  on the grading scale (as written on the path report) I add up to a 6, which is intermediate grade, not high grade.  Is there anything else, other than the nottingham scale that can affect the grade of your tumor.  I shouldn't be asking as I just got chastised by my uncle the Dr for playing doctor, but he doesn't have time to talk about it until tomorrow.

Bugs

MMM, sorry you had to join us.  I had an 8.5 cm tumor and I'm almost 6 years out.  This year will be a tough one..but you'll get through it.  We'll be here to hold your hand!

Outfield

MMM,

I'm a lot older than you, but My kids were not quite 3-1/2 and just turned 2 when I was diagnosed.  I also was diagnosed as we slowed down the nursing.   

I had an unusually rough time with chemo and was pretty down and out.  My daughter, the 3 year old, had a rough year with treatment.  She automatically "didn't like" whatever relative was arriving to stay with us because it meant I was going to get another infusion. She had trouble at school.  But as I recovered, she bounced back.  

It's so hard to do this with little kids.  Being around to raise them was the FIRST thing I thought of when I was diagnosed.  But it keeps you going through.  Every time I've questioned if I want to put my body through the next insult, there they are, my easy answer. 

RedSunshineKim

I was diagnosed while breastfeeding too - three years ago now. I really thought the beginning was the worst part - the fear of the chemo, etc. But chemo has come a long way baby- make sure they premedicate you to control side effects because they can do a really good job of that now.  You will still be "mom" to your little one the whole way through - keep living the life you want to lead. I wrote about my journey if you are interested in hearing more about what you might go through (Red Sunshine is the title www.redsunshine.org) - there are lots of great stories on this site though too! Let me know if you have questions about your pathology (I am a breast cancer pathologist - ironically...)

Patriotic

MiniMacsMom, I am so sorry. I was also diagnosed with Stage IIIa in March. A mammogram 6 months prior missed my cancer. My kids were 4 and 6 and although, it's been rough, they keep me motivated and make me feel better when I am about to go over the proverbial edge. The fact that the kids keep you so busy means you won't have too much time to mope around. The "c" word can be so isolating and my kids keep me so motivated.



You are entitled to a pity-party. I was in a fog and cried for about 5 days after dx. I couldnt sleep or eat and was a wreck. Then, I decided I needed to put on the big girl panties and get to work. And you will do that, too. Just take one treatment step at a time. I tend to get impatient and fret about what's next but honestly, this is not going to be a race. It's going to be a slow and very bumpy roller-coaster ride, physically and emotionally. It's difficult to contemplate that life is forever changed. But, these boards have been a Godsend. A wealth of support and information. Best of luck with treatment. You can do this.

MiniMacsMom

Thanks everyone,  I am doing better now.  It seems at each "stage" of the treatment and diagnosis so far, there has always been the punch you in the gut bad new that no one was anticipating,.  This last time it was the high grade tumor speed

RedSunshine, Ironically I do have a question.  My pathology report seem rather short, one page conclusions, one page data, and one and a half pages of technique.  On the conlusions it says I am a Infilrating and In situ ductal high grade adenocarcinoma.  But when I look at the data page ( I have a degree in biochem, so I am actually able to understand a fair amount.)  The only information on "grading " they included was the bloom richardson scale data.  My scores were 2-1-3 for the categories.  So far my research show that I would be in the Intermediate not high grade category.  I have asked my Onc and she doesn't know she just says lets wait and see what MDA says   I am not very good at waiting, being young and smart seems to be a hard combo for my hospital so far

jennyboog

Not to change the subject but I keep hearing so many of us getting dx while breastfeeding or after childbirth....don't you think there has to be some kind of connection.  My baby was 18 mths.

MiniMacsMom

Jenny Boog.  There are people studying that.  I am participating in a clinical study (No meds) where they will request some of my removed tissues from surgery, and since I am pre Chemo at this point, 6 vials of blood and some urine.  They are looking for an immune change between people who have or are having a baby and breast cancer compared to people who are not.  Its realy doesn't involve us doing much and the scope of possiblities that they could find out is endless.  i am 99% estrogen positive, so any dormant little tumor just GORGED during my pregnancy and right after I stoped breast feeding   It sucks but maybe one day there will be a blood test for pregnant women that says indicates a need for a breast ultrasound during or right after pregnancy!  I found the info on YSC but if you feel like you are a candidate, just email Elizabeth at elizabeth.manthey@ucdenver.edu I just told her in my first email what I knew about the pathology of my tumor and she emailed me back and said they would love to have me participate!!   Anything to help us young mommies!

lkc

Hi Mini1

I too am sorry you've joined us, but I am happy you found us early on in your journey. The ladies here are wonderful , funny bright, and always comforting.

We've all been there and  are here for you.

I am out over 6 yrs from  a nasty Stage IIIC with 12 affected nodes.

PlantLover

* sigh * 27 is much tooooo young to be dealing with this crap!!!  I'm so sorry! 

I can't really help with the path report but I'm sure someone will be along to answer your questions!

Take care!! 

jennyboog

@ MMM...I'm glad to hear they are looking into the connection...I should have known they would be   I was told that my BC had been growing for many years before my dx. and I have read it takes it 6-8 yrs in some case so, if that's true then mine was there way before my prego's and puts me in my 20's, I was 34 at dx., mine was 89% ER+.   

MiniMacsMom

It also depends on the grade/speed of the cancer.  I am a grade 3 or high grade, so its faster than normal growth.  I prolly had some latent tumors for a long time, but the high estrogen made them flair up really fast, is how it was explained to me.  Pooh   Next step is to hope my cat scans today are clear tomorrow.  PS whoever thinks barium drinks flavored with citrus and coconut is ok is CRAZY!!!

AnacortesGirl

Welcome - but I'm sorry that you had to join us.  I hope your scans look good.  It gets to the point where you just want to walk in to the doc's office and find out that it's no worse than the last time you were there!

pupfoster1

Hi hon,

Damn I'm sorry you had to find us here, but you can be sure you will find all the support you want here.  Just ask away, absolutely nothing is off limits with us.  The ladies here helped me through my darkest times and I know are always here if I am in doubt or worried about something new.  

How's your "in person" support network?

(((Hugs)))

SHaron

lkc

wishing  you good news on your scans!

Outfield

MMM,

What is YSC?

My surgeon had mentioned that there was some interest in the cancers that are diagnosed during or just after breastfeeding.  My own grade was in the intermediate range, but clinically the thing had just taken over my mammogram in the 8 months between a screening mammo and the diagnostic mammo when I found it - there was some strong evidence it wasn't plodding along.  It was also nearly completely ER+.

The academic medical center in my area is a public institution, horribly undefunded and overwhelmed.  There would have been a major wait to get in for initial treatment there, so I didn't, although I did see them for a second opinion at one point (didn't change anything).  Unfortunately, insurance wouldn't cover anything outside of this small city. 

fredntan

my path report is almost identical to yours. this next wed. will be my third AC tx. I was terrrified like you. But I really feel good today. I really havn't had too many sideeffects, besides emotional. I seem to have gotten that in check.

my last hurdle was loosing my hair. I'm sorry you are with us, but am so thankful you checked and found that lump. 

MiniMacsMom

Hey all!! So big day! Got my drains out and my staples out and had my first post surgery shower. WHOOO HOOO.  Whoever thought that would be so exciting?  Ugh.  I did get my scans back, all clear.  I have a boarderline enlarge lymph on the left side, but no cancer in the breast, and they are jsut going to watch it through the chemo rather than puting me at risk for lymphodema at this point.  YSC is the Young Survivors Coalition, its an BC organization specifically for women under 40.  There discussion forums isn't quite as hoppin as this one.  Sorry, I am feeling pretty good today.  I got the call from MDA, so I will be in 80 degree TX next week and Thanksgiving week for a second opinion!! 

Out: That sucks that your insurance is so limited we have a high deductible plan, but other than that they have been fairly good at covering or negotiating everything.

Fred:  SOOO happy to hear you are doing well with your chemo.  How many do you have left?  I wish you luck with your treatments.  I am having a bye bye hair party sunday, I will be getting the shortest haircut for me ever, we are talking boy short but girly in preparation for the big FO.  I have heard its easier to go from short to bald than Waist length to bald.  I am trying to keep open minded.  A few girls, some wine and drinks, could be worse I figure.  I have another girlfriend knitting up a storm in preparation for a virgin bald head and winter.    Again good luck and let me know how you do!