Going Whacky Over MRI

BikerBabe1

I know I am being totally unreasonable but I am finding myself having significant increasing anxiety the closer I get to my one-year MRI.  I had a unilateral mx for DCIS last December with several follow-up surgeries.  This MRI is part of my regular surveillance post-DCIS.  I know that my risk of recurrence is very very low.  I know that my risk of a new primary in the contra-lateral breast is very low, even given my other risk factors. I know that my fears are way out of proportion with my actual risk. But nevertheless, even knowing all these things, I find myself so worried and I still have four weeks until the MRI.  What is that all about?   

I wonder if it has to do with the fact that, prior to the diganoisis, I was living blissfully untouched by breast cancer, and now, not so much.  I also think that during all the treatment, it was a matter of toughing it out and getting through it.  Now that I am finished, I think it is sinking in just what the last year was like and perhaps this is just part of the healing process, going through the anxiety of the first MRI.  I wasn't particularly anxious throughout the treatment this last year, so maybe I just saved it up . . .

cycle-path

If it's got you so worried, why not see if you can move it up and get it over with? The doctor would probably prefer to do it earlier anyway, since so many people want to have them late in the year for insurance reasons. Just be sure your insurance will still pay for it if it's a month early.

lalisa

The scans are scary, I agree! I wish I could take your anxiety away, bikerbabe. I have anxiety about so many things, sometimes I tell myself to just see it all as a challenge to get better at dealing with it. Don't know if that helps at all. Sending light and love to you.

BikerBabe1

Thanks cycle-path.  I would reschedule but they want me 6 months past my last surgery. My last surgery was July (I had another implant exchange, a lift and nipple reconstruction).  Apparently, there can be more false positives during the six months after that type of surgery.  

Beesie

BikerBabe, like you I had a single MX. I have annual MRIs and mammos, alternating every 6 months. The first year after I was diagnosed, I remember that I started to think about my mammo about 6 weeks before my appointment date and I got progressively more nervous by the week.  The second year, I didn't think about the tests until about 4 weeks before hand, and the nerves were a bit more manageable (but just a bit).  Year three, I had it down to a couple of weeks.  By year four, I didn't get nervous until the day of the appointment.  Last year, which was year five, I realized that for the first time, I wasn't nervous even as I was sitting there in the hospital gown waiting to go in for my mammo.  It was the same when I had my MRI 6 months later - it honestly didn't bother me at all (and I'm claustrophobic and the MRIs used to really scare me).  Of course what then entered my mind was that since I finally wasn't nervous about the test, this would probably be the time when there is a problem.  But there wasn't. Everything was fine.  My year six mammo is coming up in a few weeks. Now I can truly say that I worry about it less than I did before my diagnosis.  I've been through BC; I've had a mastectomy. I expect my results to be fine but if they aren't, I know what to expect and I know that I can deal with it.  I don't have the same fear that I had before I was diagnosed.

All that to say that your anxiety is perfectly normal!  And if my case is any indication, it will get better over time.  

Good luck with the MRI! 

BikerBabe1

Lalisa and Beesie:  Thanks.  I do pretty well with challenges but it helps a ton to know some time it dissapates with time.