Where is the Rant topic? ;-)

etherize

I know there's a rant topic here somewhere but I can't find it.

So here's my little rant for today.  For the 2nd time in my early bc journey, I got the "tsk, tsk" and clucking tongue when somebody asked me if I got regular mammograms before the one that found the cancer.

No, I did not get regular mammograms.  If I had, would they have PREVENTED the cancer? NO!

I get tired of people's judgements, and having to educate them.  End of rant.  :-)

AnnNYC

etherize -- what a pain!  I'd be hard-pressed not to smack those people!  Rant away!

And, for the record, and for your rude and ignorant scolder's information -- mammograms don't "see" all breast cancers.  Mine was never detectable on mammogram or ultrasound -- fortunately for me, it was still small by the time I felt it.

sanbar8771

Tell them to blow it out their ass. I was 33 years old when diagnosed and was told I was too young for breast cancer. Hmmm... shows you what they know. Sorry girl

cp418

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/67/topic/776142?page=1#post_2660067

Is this it?

etherize

Thank you, ladies!  You both added two other important points about mammograms.  

They are fine for what they do ... but they're not the whole story, that's for sure! 

cp418, I tried that link but got a Page Not Found error ... hmm, I'm sure I'll find it around here somewhere. :-)

AmyIsStrong

I would not answer a question like that. You have enough to deal with without some superior-thinking person clucking at you.

Maybe you can have an answer ready for questions like that (because we never can invent one at the spur of the moment) - like "Mammograms are really important, i agree."  And if they push, I might say "I don't really discuss my medical history, I'm sure you understand".

Just an idea. Good luck. I hate people who push for personal info. 

DocBabs

Tell them to drop dead! I got regular mammos AND mri's AND ultrasounds AND STILL ended up with IDC.All exams were negative up to 2 months before receiving the diagnosis on a lesion that I FOUND on SBE.

etherize

AmyIsStrong, I like your answer: "I don't really discuss my medical history; I'm sure you understand."  

I just thought of another answer I read somewhere ... "Why do you ask?"  Gives you a little time to come up with a snappier response, I guess -- and hopefully makes them aware of what they're implying.

DocBabs, thank you for the laugh!  I love the "drop dead" response, although I'd probably never have the nerve to say it!

Leah_S

Etherize, for the pushy ones who want to blame you for getting bc, instead of answering the question "Weren't you getting regular mammos?" just say, "Mammos don't cure cancer, they find it". Then you don't have to deal with their blame-the-victim superiority.

And the nastier ones will feel a bit dumb, too.

Leah

AnnNYC

Good answer, Leah -- I would just add "sometimes they find it!"

etherize

Yep, I think that's the best answer ... "mammos don't cure cancer, but sometimes they find it." ;-)

GR4C1E

Uttered thoughtlessly by a FORMER friend:  "You used to smoke back in the day, didn't you?"  Yeah, I guess you're right.  I brought this on myself.  Thanks for pointing that out.  I think I'm cured now.

Chickadee

Wow, Gracie. I never smoked. I did get reg mammos. Maybe I was evil in a former life!?!?

bak94

Ugghh, how frustrating. These people are speaking out of their own fear, since they do it the "right" way they are safe. Tell them not to count on that! They are just looking for what thay do differently that will save them, but we know the truth.

etherize

I know one of my friends thinks I got bc because I drank ... not heavily -- but in her mind, any drinking is "heavy."  She hasn't said it to my face, though.  I guess that's something to be grateful for.

Lowrider54

Geez, so new to this journey and to have someone make that statement - sounds to me that someone else didn't do their mamo's...besides the criteria for doing them has changed over the years.  This year, they want to push it back to 50yrs but others are advocating 30yrs. 

I was in a Planned Parenthood program in college and had my first mamo at 21.  I didn't have another until I was 42 after I found the lump. 

Do we know why one cell grows into a cancer cell and one does not?  No, we don't.  Until we know that answer, no one has the right to say how any of us aquired this awful beast.  We just hit the bc lottery - the mammo happened to find it!

etherize...any help you need as a newbie, please pm me...I will glady try to guide you around - oh, you can start a rant under any topic.  I see here that you were looking for a specific one - in that case, you would do a search to find it. 

Hugs to you

LowRider