Bon Jovi - Go figure!

Ashley_Mtichell

Today marks my one year completion of my breast reconstruction. 

I found an incredible, wicked sense of humor on this journey.  I also found the typical 'inspriations' didn't work for me.  What helped me cope and fight came in very abstract forms.  Like the "Hooters" t-shirt I wore in the hospital after my mastectomy. 

Oddly enough, the single biggest source of inspiration came from a Bon Jovi concert.  Go figure!  Approximately November, 2009, on a whim, I had purchased two tickets to their March 2, 2010 concert in Sacramento.   Months later when my health changed and a double mastectomy was scheduled I didn't realize that the two events woul overlap.   I quickly made the decision that if I was going to live long enough for my son to graduate high school, I would simply not slow down, not get tired, not go to bed...if I just lived my life exactly as if nothing were wrong, 'IT' wouldn't get me.

Due to complications during my mastectomy, my doctor told me I'd be in the hospital about 5-7 days.  Since my attitude was nothing would slow me down, I informed him that that wouldn't be possible...I had a Bon Jovi concert to attend.  The day of the concert, I met my doctor at the door and told him I was going home.  (Okay, so that's the short version of that story...but it's really not that interesting.)

I did, indeed, go to the concert...with my drains and bandages still in place.  I am sure I was the only woman at that show with NO boobs....all the other girls had theirs on display - mine were totally gone!  But I digress.  I was still so heavily medicated that I remember very little of the show.  But towards the end of the show Jon Bon Jovi talked about the choices we make based on fear.  As best as I remember it, he talked about making choices based on the concept of love being the only rule, which was the introduction to a song called "Love's the Only Rule".  The song's message is not to let anyone else tell us what our story will be, what our truth will be, or to accept someone else's rules...what if love were the only rule?  The lyrics, in part, are:  "You write your truth, I'll write mine.  One man's ceiling is another man's sky-high."  And with those words, combined with a hefty dose of percoset I thought of my doctors telling me my expectations and thought to myself "F*ck That!  I'll write my own truth".  (Not sure which surprised me more - my using the 'f' word or the certainty that I was going to win this thing!)  Their final song that night was "Living on a Prayer"...I've heard that song a million times on the radio.   I like it.  But I wouldn't consider it a favorite.  Until now.  When the music to that song started, I got chills all over and the hair on my arms stood up.  Inexplicably, I threw my head back and shouted at the top of my lungs "Bring it on home, baby!"  I knew, and sang, every word with Jon and the boys.

I decided that I wouldn't settle for living long enough to see my son graduate from high school.  I would live to see HIM become a grandfather.  Period.  No doctor will tell me what the end of my story will be.  He can write his truth, I'll write mine! 

My next goal?  To see (and remember!) Bon Jovi in concert again.  Partly because I want to see if the show is as good when I'm not high on Percoset.   And partly to see if I still get chills at the intro to "Living on a Prayer".  But mostly, I want to bring this thing full circle...I want to be in the same room again with someone I've never met (or will meet, for that matter) but who changed the way I think and taught me to fight hard for a long life with those I love most.  After all, Love's the Only Rule! 

And to think I'd never bought a Bon Jovi record in all these years....I don't see the hair, teeth, sex appeal that is written about Jon Bon Jovi.  I see a man who had a thought, put it to music and  somehow got that message to me at just the right moment.

Next concert, think I'll wear that 'Hooters' t-shirt and take my new boobs out for a night on the town! 

celia088

You Go Girl!!!!!!!

I loved your story and thank you for sharing it.   Ashley, you totally rock!!

Babs37

Yeah baby!!!! I went to the Bon Jovi concert in my hometown last february, 4 days before my mx. I had just a little fuzz of hair on my head because I just finished chemo 3 weeks before but I didn't care. It was a great concert (and I wasn't on Percocet ) I too sang my heart out on "livin on a prayer". Great band. Love them.

Ashley_Mtichell

Thank YOU.  I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate you telling me so

Ashley_Mtichell

Cool story!!!!  Can you imagine the two of us together?  You with fuzz on your head and me with no boobs?  What a way to stand out in a crowd of beautiful women!  LOL.  Good to know they're as good without the Percoset-induced high!   I saw an interview with Jon Bon Jovi somewhat recently where he was asked about their longevity and he made the comment that he/they weren't curing cancer....I might argue with him about that one! 

Joviangeldeb

OMG.  I am a huge Bon Jovi fan!  And their music has always lifted my spirits ever since the 80s. Throughout my life I've had highs and lows and they've always been my inspiration and dose of strength.  I thought I was alone in this. I went through Hurricane Katrina which was a very traumatic experience and I grew strength in listening to their music. I remember they had released one of their cd's shortly before the storm hit after Katrina, we didn't have power for several weeks, and no internet or cable for a few months. The only time I listened to them was in my car and when I was in tears, I'd pop in that cd and it would give me strength and courage to continue on.  Same thing when I was diagnosed with breast cancer..

 I can't imagine going to a concert so soon after having my mastectomy, you were so brave. I had a similare experience a year ago after I had a gastric electrical stimulator inserted. A week afterm my surgery, I learned they were giving away free tickets to a concert they did in Gulf shores, AL. for the gulf oil spill. Everybody thought I was nuts, but I set my alarm clock for 3:30am, packed my lawn chair, water and a book, and drove myself from Biloxi, Ms to Gulf Shores and when I got there, I was about 200 people in line. I was close enough to get tickets. I was there for 4 hours, but my body never felt taxed. I stayed in line by sitting in my lawnchair, I drank water and visited with everyone around me. It was an awesome experience because a group of friends and I, used to pick a city for each tour, get tickets online and make a road trip to go see them. I've been to Nashville, Washington DC, Tampa, Fl, New Orleans for a soul game which he was at, and Atlanta, Ga.  Ever since being dx with Breast cancer in 08, those days stopped, mainly because with going through all my savings and maxing out all my credit cards to make ends meet while I out from work, healing from surgery and having really bad days the first week of each chemo, I was broke. My health continued to deteriorate after going through my active treatment. I came down with several infections of my mastectomy site, developed cdiff and spent 2 different 7 day hospital stays with that. Had my gallbladder removed, found out I had hyperaldosteronism, and for two years since chemo, suffered with chronic nausea and vomiting. After several testing, they determined I have gastroparesis which is destroying my life. I'm now disabled with it.

anyhoos, I thought I'd never be able to see them perform ever again cuz of finances. One of my friends bought me and her tickets to see them at the Jazz Festival in New Orleans two years in a row, and each time the concert came up, I was too sick to attend and in the hospital. I became mad because it seemed my health kept interfering with Bon Jovi. I know that sounds stupid, but that's how I felt. Then after I was fitted with that Gastric pacemaker, I found out about the Gulf Shores concert and I had an epiphany like you, I was still healing from surgery, by I was determined to get my hands on those free tickets cuz I didn't have the money to purchase or travel and I saw this as an opportunity I could not miss.  I went with my friend who's purchased tickets to the New Orleans jazz fest that I couldn't go to. Her name is Celia, and we had the best time. I can't imagine spending that experience without her.

I do know the song your talking about.  I've always loved that song. My favorite line in it is the one you mentioned about one man's ceiling is another's sky high. My alltime favorite Bon Jovi song is The Distance, and my fave line in that one is 'there's a thread that runs between us. Spreading across this great divide. Its only there for the believers. Don't stop believing, Dont' stop believing."

Mr. Jon Bon Jovi, I won't stop believing.

His voice is like comfort food for my ears and soul. I strongly believe that Gulf Shores concert was a gift from God.  Jesus is my # 1 hero, and Jon Bon Jovi is my 2nd. lol.  

I am so glad you got to attend that concert. 

don't stop believing,

Deb

Ashley_Mtichell

Awesome story, Deb.  Sounds like you've been to a ton of shows!  I'm so glad I'm not the only crazy one heading off to a rock concert with my health in the toilet.  But hey, we're both still around so maybe we better consider it treatment, huh?  Thanks for writing and much luck to you!!!!