My Mother's Post-Chemo Issues

lilmsmoffitt

Hello all, I'm very new to this and hoping to get some help being steered in the right direction!

 I'm the 26 year old daugher of my 56 year old cancer survivor mother.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer June 2010, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation.  I was with her every step of the way.  When she first beat cancer March 2011, she was left underweight, shakey, and afraid it would come back.

 Her doctor prescribed a mild antidepressant which I thought she could benefit from.  Her change was gradual.  At first she was happy again.  Then she started planning a lot of vacations.  Then she needed to buy more cars.  Then she started going to Starbucks every morning at 5am in her bath robe.  She never sleeps, she spends money like crazy, and if my sister or I comment on it she gets furious at the drop of a hat.  

 She sends out embarrassing emails to us and our husbands about crazy plans we will never do, like picking a spirit animal and she will buy a statue to keep in her yard.  She yells at strangers in public if she has bad service.  

I should add that before this, even before her cancer diagnosis, she was a calm, reserved woman who never raised her voice, enjoyed saving and was conservative in most ways.

 Also, I subjected this as post chemo because she claims that's what messed her up- that her doctor gave her too much chemo and she just feels like her body doesn't work as well anymore, hence she wants to live out life the best she can.

 I may not understand what she went through, and I'm all for a moment or two of carpe diem, but it seems far too extreme.  My sister and I are exhausted by the spending, anger and silly ideas.

We recently took her off the antidepressants and she has begun these behaviors even more.  She wants to own 7 Lexuses and take a cruise every other month.  We don't have the funds for that!

Can anyone say they're familiar with this?  Could this be common?  Her general care practicioner doesn't seem too concerned, my it's turning our lives upside down.  If anone has any input I would appreciate it so very much!  Thank you for your time!

Laurel Moffitt

Letlet

Hello Laurel, I am not presuming to know what is going on with your mom but let me tell you a little about me. Before I had cancer, every single dollar went to our bills, clothes for my kids. I never really splurged on anything for myself. After I was done with treatment I found myself spending more things on myself and I enjoyed it! I bought myself two sandals in the same month on a whim! Not a big deal to most women but definitely a big deal to me.

Getting cancer is a life changing experience. We are never the same person. I think what your mom is going through is normal. Heck I want to go on cruises as much as I can. This disease may kill me and I'm not taking it sitting down. This is her llife and she is living it the way she wants to.Whenever I spend money on myself I feel really guilty still but my husband assures me that I deserve it. Perhaps your mom does not want to be criticized for her spending habits. 

epgnyc

Hi, Laurel.  Unfortunately this sounds exactly like something I am too familiar with.  I believe your mother has developed what is called bi-polar disorder, but of course a psychiatrist will need to see and evaluate your mom in order to diagnose her correctly.  I truly don't believe this is anything related to your mom's chemotherary, although there are many side effects that happen to chemo patients that are unexpected.  Occasionally anti-depressants can cause bi-polar disorder when taken by someone who is pre-disposed.  However, even though she has been taken off the anti-depressants, she will probably need another medication to even her out.

My sister has been bi-polar for 35 years and this sounds exactly like my her behavior when she is in what is called the manic phase.  People with bi-polar disorder can have manic episodes and/or depressed episodes.  My sister suffers from a type where she experiences only the manic side of the disorder.  People who are bi-polar and are in a manic phase often have the following symptoms:  (a) sleep very little; (b) spend money wildly; (c) display aggressive or irritable behavior; (d) experience euphoria or a greatly inflated sense of self-esteem.  In fact, your descriptions are classic bi-polar behaviors.  There are lots of other symptoms -- check them out on-line by Googling "bipolar disorder".

Lest you freak when you hear the phrase bi-polar, the actress Catherine Zeta-Jones recently went public with the news that she is suffering from this.  If it turns out that this is what your mother does have, it is entirely treatable with medication.  But you should immediately have her seen by a psychiatrist to either rule this out or in.  Best of luck to you!

Ellen