Still dealing with anxiety 2 years out

laghdam

Hello,

 In November, I will be at 2 years since my last chemo.  I was triple negative and had dose dense A/C.  I had a really rough time and was very sick throughout.  I am STILL having problems with anxiety and some panic.  I am on Lexapro  and have Xanax to take when needed.  My anxiety comes and goes in waves and I have been in the "anxiety" wave for several weeks.  I think the earthquake here in VA triggered it and also the fact that this is the time in which I was most sick during chemo.  It is very much .like PTSD and I'm just not sure if it's ever going to go away.  Is it?  Is there anyone out there who can tell me that it's going to get better as time goes by and that even at 2 years, this is normal?

 I am SO frustrated and I will see my psychiatrist at the end of the month.  but, i am almost embarrassed that I haven't been able to overcome this.  any advice, please?

 thank you, Laura A.

CoolBreeze

I don't think it's "normal" to have that much anxiety two years out but who cares what normal is? You have anxiety.  You are on the right track, seeing a specialist.  But, a psychiatrist is mostly going to prescribe medication which isn't going to help you.  You might want to get some talk therapy or behavioral therapy to help you deal with your excessive anxiety.

Good luck, I sure hope you can find some peace.  

voraciousreader

I most humbly and respectfully disagree with what Coolbreeze has told you regarding meds. The DH has a history of psychotic depressions and anxiety and I can't begin to tell you how important it is to work with your psychiatrist and find a cocktail that works for you. By all means other therapies that don't include meds CAN help as well, but the meds that my husband takes to reduce his anxiety and depression are lifesaving! I an not a fan of Xanax for anxiety. There are other meds out there that can get you comfortable. Be patient and remain hopeful. And by all means don't hesitate to tell your doctor how you feel. Thoughts and prayers to you.

minxie

I will be 3 years out from my TN diagnosis this December, 2 years past my last chemo this past June, 2 years past my BMX (due to ADDITIONAL DCIS) this past July. I still suffer from very bad anxiety as well. I started seeing a psychiatrist about a year ago and they prescribed Cymbalta, which has helped immensely. I remember about 3 weeks after starting it, I was hanging out on a hammock at a party, having a good time, and this strange feeling came over me - happiness. I hadn't felt that way in ages, I barely remembered what it was.

But it doesn't take much to set me off, still - hearing about someone I know dying of cancer, some strange ache or pain in my body I start OCD-obsessing over. I also saw a therapist who did EMDR therapy with me. This helped me some with nightmares I was having about the cancer and my experiences in the hospital. She's also tried to help me with the worry and anxiety, but it seems very deep rooted.

I fully expect that one day I will be over this, but I think it may take a few more years. It's hard to let your guard down when you've been so walloped by the fates. Don't be embarrassed! If anyone thinks less of you, screw them. Sorry, but going through cancer and living with the constant fear of death isn't easy and not everyone will come through mentally unscathed. Best to you!

hrf

For me it's also been just over 2 years and I still think about it all the time and haven't felt truly happy since this second dx. I find meds to be helpful and I also see a counsellor. I don't think I'll ever get over it. This is my new normal. There's no right or wrong. Everyone copes differently

laghdam

thank you ladies.   It helps to know that some of you are experiencing the same thing.  I have had counseling and because I am very aware of what's causing the feelings, there isn't a whole lot the counselor can say.  I have learned how to meditate some and I also have Reiki.  ALL of this helps but at the end of the day, that fear is always there.  I have so much to lose and because this bad thing happened once totally unexpectedly, it could happen again.  Fear is so hard to let go of.  I am working on it but I guess I want my feelings to be duller than they are, you know?

Denise2730

I take Lexapro for my chronic depression and Ativan (aka Lorazepam) for anxiety. Without it I would be staring at the ceiling contemplating way too much when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

bluepearl

Sometimes, especially when we get older, anxiety attacks can just stop. Oddly, having suffered them a great deal in my 20's and 30's, getting breast cancer didn't initiate any....just depression which is another ball game. Medications can help a GREAT deal. A friend who has struggled a few years with the death of her child went on Effexor and she said, one day she woke up and felt.....normal. Many people report this. All these new drugs take time to work...3-6 weeks depending how you react. They often can make you feel worse before you feel better. I take ativan and have for a long time (since diagnosis in March 2011...so that's way over the recommended two weeks....but let me tell you, not everyone gets addicted and I've quit just to see and never had any withdrawls) Some diazepams are fast acting (like ativan) or slow acting (like oxezepam) and some, like xanax have some anti-depressant features. I also take nortrityline for arm pain from the mastectomy and it helps you sleep too (low dose) and not at a therapeutic dose to change your feelings...which means I'm still depressed but I'm just biding my time for now and walking alot. NOT BEING ALONE is a big help.....talking to others you find we are all afraid of something and I don't know too many people not afraid of death..we are all terminal. You'd be surprised how many people have anxiety/depression problems, including the therapists we go to!

Part of the human condition. Breast cancer (or any other serious illness) places our mortality right in front of our faces....THAT isn't nice. Who wouldn't be upset? It forces us into existential crisis mode and we all have to go through that, hopefully with each other, because alone, like the above, we tend to start thinking too much in a circular fashion and making everything worse.