BMX on1/11/11, now hysterectomy 11/11

cinnamonsmiles

I had my bmx with no reconstrustion last January. Despite the severe PMPS I woke up with (and am still getting treatment for as well as for scar tissue adhesions), I am overall very happy and satisfied with my decision. I, of course, have the occasional moments when I am sexual with my partner and miss my breasts.

I am scheduled to have a hysterectomy this coming November. I discussed it with my breast surgeon and an ob-gyn. I have decided to go through with it.

But, this decision was no where near as easy as the choice to go with the mastectomy! I had pretty much made up my mind when the breast surgeon drew a picture of what the precancerous and DCIS cells looked like in the sample. I did take a night to sleep on it, but was determined to have the BMX.

I have read somewhere online the thoughts of another woman who expressed the feeling of having her breasts removed and the hysterectomy and having a feeling of losing what makes her a woman. I can not believe that I am having the same irrational thoughts. I have a wonderful pain counselor I see for PMPS pain management, but we talk about all my issues. I will bring this up with him next week. But I am just looking for any other women that had both these surgeries and had similar feelings.

Rationally. I know that the feeling of losing what makes me a woman is silly. But the thoughts persist.

How did you get over that hump if you had this issue? ( I am in no way interested in reconstrtuction). I don't know why I didn't think these things about the BMX , but think it now.

I know that no one can give me the magic words to get over it, but I thought it might point me in the right direction if I hear  your stories.

Thank you.

mrsnjband

Interesting dates for your procedures.  I have a recurring "10".  First symptom 11-10-07; DX, 1-10-08; BMX 7-10-08; NED 1-10-08.

Sorry that you are having a rough time.  I hit the wall 2 years ago with a few counseling sessions & some meds I am doing much better now.  My issues weren't anything like yours.  It is okay to feel the way you  do but if you need extra help it's okay to ask for it.

I didn't want reconstruction either.  But I had an incision burnt so bad that I started getting infections & cellulitis.  So I decided to do the Bi-lateral DIEP.  I don't regret it at all.  It was a little tough the first few days and since then I've been doing really well.  If you would change your mind later you can always do reconstruction later.  Insurance has to pay, it's the law.

Hang in there friend.  You are in a tough spot right now but you will get througg it. Just wanted to give you some incouragement.

Sending lots of love & support. NJ

Erica3681

mycinnamon,

I had a hysterectomy first and later a bilat mastectomy. The hysterectomy/oophorectomy was necessary six years before my first bc diagnosis and my mastectomy was three years after that, when a second bc was diagnosed in my other breast. But I feel as if I can relate to your concerns. I wondered before the hyst/ooph whether I would feel like a "whole" woman without my uterus and ovaries. I can only say that afterward, it just wasn't a problem. I never felt less a woman.

When I was anticipating the mastectomy, I also wondered whether with none of my female reproductive organs left, I would feel neutered or something. In all honesty, it just didn't happen. I discovered that I'm a woman in my brain and in every fiber of my being. At least that how it feels to me. 

So, I can totally relate to how you're feeling. I hope that, like me, after your upcoming surgery you still feel that your essential womanhood and selfhood is intact.

Barbara