Feeling blue AFTER treatment?

Iwillwinthisbattle

OK! I know that I'll never be finished with treatment, but I'm done chemo, ooph and starting AI. I go back to work next week and should be getting back to normal. BUT.....this week I have cried more than any time even at diagnosis? Anyone else in this boat?

reesie

I am. I asked my MO for an antidepressent today. He told me how we'll I'm doing and I said I know but what I'm doing and what I feel like doing are two different things. He didn't blink prescribing me something. Know you're not alone and there are meds out there if you think you need something.

rcox

Absolutely!  I had BMX with TE on August 12.  Have just had one fill and still have to take the "good" stuff on occasion, but went back to work this week at about 1/2 time.  I don't think there was a day during the last 2 weeks when I didn't cry much of the day.  

Going back to work has been a HUGE help.  So far I've cried each night, but it's more a combination of happiness from starting to feel normal again, and exhaustion from the day. 

No, you're not alone. 

Lowrider54

Iwillwinthisbattle

No, you are not alone.  I cried for the entire first 3 months after my dx with mets.  I would hide in my cubie, the bathroom, a friends office, go for a walk - I was a mess.  Then I had a meltdown when I was having the Aredia infusion in the chemo room and the nurse practioner came a running and introduced me to the psychiatrist I continue to see - she specializes in mets patients.

We spent 90 minutes together for the first appointment and at the conclusion, she had mapped out a plan - yes, medication but all low doses of an antidepressant and an antianxiety medication - it was a start...and there was the option to change until we could find the right combination that would give me the best relief.  Turns out, this was the best combination - I was getting relief at a lower dose of Effexsor than we had discussed - and that was fine.  The Xanax was perfect.  Within a matter of 2-3 weeks, I was back in control, have a full range of emotion (no inability to cry, laugh, feel sadness and all the other appropriate emotional responses), and the depression and anxiety under control.  Amazing!

At least go have a chat...its worth it!

Hugs

LowRider

Iwillwinthisbattle

Thanks ladies! I will talk with my doc when I see him next week.

anonymice

Yes, Yes, Yes!!!  I have rarely felt so down in my life, and then my Mom died last Wednesday.   I just don't seem to have any motivation to do anything at all.   

ICanDoThis

This is so totally the hardest time, even when mets are not in the picture.

I have a great prognosis, and, when I went back,  I cried every morning as I drove there. And then, often, in my cube. I found a wonderful psychologist, and just went there and cried. 

Now, a few years into my "new normal," I have come to believe that I stuffed every feeling having to do with my diagnosis and treatment, and simply put one foot in front of the other in order to just get through it. Then, when I went back to work, and my life looked like it was supposed to, suddenly I experienced all the feelings that I had refused to have (even though I could have sworn I cried and yelled my head off).

It passes. But it was really hard.

I am one of those people who doesn't do mood-altering drugs, for a variety of personal reasons. So I did not use any anti-depressents, or anti-anxiety meds. So, they aren't required. But I bet they do make life just a little bit easier.

Iwillwin - sorry you have to do this. But I love your name and your attitude.

Claire_in_Seattle

Pam...... I am so very sorry about your mother.  I still miss my mother, and it's been seven years.

I used exercise as my drug of choice, and did enough cycling events a year ago that I never had quite that letdown.  But then I couldn't get moving.  Not that I was depressed, but I didn't have my game on either.

It came back a few months ago, and now I am energized about life.

I will say that the trip through treatment puts things into perspective in making other tasks less daunting.  And I am thankful for every single day. 

Iwillwin......feel better.  Is there anything you can do that is fun?  Much to celebrate.  I learned long ago to celebrate the little things, so plan something for every single day.  Really helps when the going gets tough.  Good luck! - Claire

anonymice

Thanks so much, Claire.  I know exercise will be my way out of the hole as well, eventually.

peggy_j

Just wanted to chime in. At my last appt w/ my RO in May he warned me about the post-treatment letdown and his advice was to have activities planned (trips to look forward to, etc). I think he got it half-right. We were busy for a couple months but when things calmed down, the post-treatment let-down caught up with me. I thought my symptoms were SEs of tamoxifen (lack of sleep-->crankiness_&_anxiety -->crying) but a friend said some of my symptoms sounded like depression. Anyway, long story short, I feel like I went through a second round of grief/coping but I was able to make some progress.  I went to a couple of "healing imagery" classes, got a massage, and spent some time last weekend doing journal writing (and lots of crying) to work through the issues. (wrote down my fears, concerns, etc). In my case, my MO's nurse also suggested I calm down a bit about food (I was trying to eat the perfect diet: vegetarian, no dairy, all-organic, 6-9 servings of fruits and veggies a day; avoid all BPA, use only healthy beauty products, etc. For some reason, she thought this might be causing anxiety. Really?  This might not work for everyone but I was able to turn the tide after several weeks of a very low period.  (I agree on exercise. Good advice Claire)