Preparing for BALD

Birds

I noticed that when I would be waiting to cross the street, cars would stop and let me cross.  It got to a point where I felt like I didn't even have to look before walking into a street.  Oh, and people always insisted I go ahead of them in line at the grocery store.  On another note, my leg hair grew back so thick, it's just crazy!  A few people came up to me and told me they used to have my hairstyle and gave encouragement.  One lady came up to me and grabbed my hand and told me her daughter was in the same battle and she was very sweet to me.  It was a very bad day and I was really in a fog, but I remember it and think it was so nice of her.

jancie

I always felt good getting encouragement from complete strangers.  I too notice those that have gone through chemo but there have been times I have wondered when women have super short hair if that is what they asked for at a salon.  So sometimes I am hesitant to go up to someone of course unless they are at the pharmacy picking up a slew of drugs

Claire_in_Seattle

I donated my long hair to Locks of Love, so did an intermediate style.  Then got it buzzed as it started to fall out.  Made clean up relatively easy as used lint thingies.

Check for fun wigs.  I did that, with two styles.  Identical black page boys except that one had red streaks in it.  Got these for $29 each at a local salon.  I saw no reason to spend megabucks on something temporary.

I found that a liquid eye liner did wonders to distract from the lack of lashes.  Brows didn't completely vacate until the very end, and I used a softer pencil than normal to fill in.  I had lashes and brows through AC, but they departed with Taxol.  I felt so much livelier on Taxol that I didn't care.

I came out of this experience knowing how to use hair styling products and much better with eye makeup. - Claire

MRSROCKYTOP55

If anyone has wigs no longer needed and would like to donate, PM me and I will explain and give instructions.  Blessings, Kathy

cp418

My hair was shoulder length bob when I was dx. Initially I had it cut short in a pixie cut but had noticable scalp tingling after the 2nd AC treatment. When I got a handful of hair taking a shower was when I decided too depressing so shaved it very close. I kept reminding myself this is just a temporary part of the journey and it will grow back. I admit it was very pleasant not shaving legs or under arms! The Aveeno shower gels with no additives was exactly what I used and plain organic moisturizer - - goal to avoid anything product that might cause skin irritation. Don't forget to avoid mouth wash with alcohol too. Biotene mouth wash was recommended to keep mouth clean from sore issues. 

Forgot to mention I also lost the brows and lashes on Taxol. While grocery shopping I realized people recognized I was in treatment. I only got a strange look one morning which I was not expecting. When I returned to car and checked the mirror I discovered I lost one eye brow!  I had a good laugh at that time. When I went out with my husband I would get into the car and then run back into the house to put on my eye brows. I tended to forget them sometimes!! 

Cjn5274

Pamonymous, I am totally with you. It's all ok. I don't care at all what the general population thinks. Likely they'll think what I used to think: "I'm so sorry she's going through that". If people are uncomfortable because I have cancer... Well that's kinda their problem rather than mine.

TorchSong

Panonymous, I'm with you!

Hots are not really my thing--I wore them because I had my chemo in the fall/winter and needed them for warmth, but wasn't happy with it. I refused to wear scarves because, as several others have said, I fellt like it was a neon sign--"cancer patient here!" Wigs...meh. I tried a few on, but none looked like me. So it was hats, when I had to for warmth.

I shaved--had a "Sinead O'Connor" party at my hairdresser's, with friends and wine and cheese and munchies. He cut it a little shorter at a time, giving me several styles along the way, ending with a Mohawk! It actually was fun, and meant a lot to me to make the choice--I am removing my hair--rather than having it happen to me.

Do what feels right for you, that's the most important thing.

edwh001

My hair was long and after my first treatment I had it cut to about 3 inches (really short for me)but after my second treatment it was falling out by the handfull so my son pulled out the clippers and went to work and you know what for the next 7 months I felt more free than I ever have. No shaving, plucking or washing and styling my hair, I used a little lotion and that was it, so it was a positive for me,

Good luck

edwh001

One other positive, during my christmas shopping people were really kind and let me go first and also the day after thanksgiving sale's every where I was in line those ahead of me would get the toy or item I was in line for, they would just walk by and put it in my buggy. There is really some very kind people in the world.

mags20487

I bought my 2 wigs today.  I bought one that is real human hair and can be dyed, curled, straightened, etc just like the real thing.  My neice is a hair dresser so I will take them both to her to have them trimmed to match me!..  I have also been stocking up on hats and headcovers since I got my dx.  2nd taxol is next wednesday so should be in the next couple of weeks.  Since I cut my hair short to a pixie I have gotten so  many compliments it is unreal.  Friends have said I look great--should have gotten BC before I guess.  Who knew I had looked so crappy before --haha

Maggie

ruthbru

I ended up with a short cute hairstyle and a color I would never have dared tried. So that ended up to be the one good SE of chemo.

Forever_mummy

LOL Maggie, crappy you are saying?

How is it after 2nd taxol?

ooops... its not yet!

Take care. And yes, my friend is 3 years survivor. She looked perfect with very short haircut.

My hair are always short, but I felt really bad, when they were falling :-(

Guess ya don't need as many hats in FL! ;-)

sas-schatzi

Special K Odd statement" some people smiled at me, but allot seemed unhappy"..... What the hell were they thinking?

When My hair started to fall out it was after the first and only chemo I accepted., but we didn't know it at the time. What I would say to someone now gently is let's see how chemo goes. I may have not have buzzed it if I knew I wasn't going to accept anymore chemo. Chemo failure -------Identified by me many months later as a drug interaction with norvasc.Docs failed to do a drug interaction check as well as pharmacy-----------another thing not to trust. Norvasc also interact with all AI's , but I diverge

Hair buzzed off at home, prepared for it by my twin who said when it starts falling out and your head hurts cut it off. I did. Felt better. She sent me her wigs. One from cancer society. BUT I just wasn't comfortable in them. I had saved my scarves from the 60's&70's and wore them. Oddly you couldn't find new ones like the old ones. Back then head wraps were "IN". I did the creative things we did then, and was quite happy with them. At the Breast cancer center where I got the one wig allowed and four scarves. I sat and played with the scarves. One woman turned into four women. They said where did you learn to do those things. My response "The 60's". They were all to young to remember the 60's and 70's

bluedasher

I got a short hair cut before starting chemo. I planned to get it buzzed when the hair started falling out, but it chose to do that while I was on a business trip. Most of my shedding occurred while sitting at the front of the room chairing a meeting (of mostly males since I'm an engineer). One pointed out that I'd only have that distinguished bald look temporarily while he had it permanently. Hotels may vacuum the sleeping rooms every day, but they didn't vacuum the meeting room so there was a growing pile around my chair by the third day.

When I got home, my son buzzed the leftovers off. Most of the hair had gone and I felt that the little scraggly bits had a demented look so I was glad to get rid of them.  I wore scarves. I didn't buy a wig, I new that I wouldn't be likely to be comfortable with one and scarves are easy to travel with. I bought some hats too, but mainly used the scarves. It was late fall when I lost it and I found it too chilly if I went bare headed.

bella76

Thank you all for responding, I'm day 19 today and I've still got my hair, I think about half of it has gone now.  If I pull on it alot comes out though, probably about 15 hairs.

I wonder If I will still have hair in 2 days for my next treatment. 

msphil

Hello sweetie, for me it was hard as for most of us here, for me especially for I was planning my wedding, I had my best friend cut my hair down, she was a hair stylist at the time, thank God, and a couple weeks into my chemo mine started coming out in clumps and I cried for I knew I would be a bald bride, BUT I was also gonna be a ALIVE bride.(Thank God) and I did become bald and my fiancee at the time,made me laugh and say I could start a fade.  But it will all be over and you will look back on it. God Bless Us All, from a 17 yr SURVIVOR(Praise GOD). idc, stage 2, 3 nodes involved, L mast(reconstruction didn,t take body rejected it) I wear a prothesis now, chemo (cytoxan, adriamycin) and rads and 5 yrs on Tamoxifen. msphil 

ruthbru

Hooray and Congratulations, msphil!

I had pre-ordered a wig, so when I knew the hair was going, I had my beautican (from whom I had ordered the wig) shave my head and I left the salon wearing my wig. That night I felt very 'shy' about taking it off in front of my DH and revealing my bald head. I finally did and he, trying to be consoling, said, "You look cute, kind of like Granny Clampett." The look of horror on my face made him realize that he had NOT paid me a compliment. He, in turn, got a look of horror on his face for what he had said. Then we both broke down in hysterical laughter.....and it was O.K.

Hang in there! This too shall pass. Ruth

sas-schatzi

Bella -Your Avatar is beautiful---------it's almost three weeks since you posted. Perhaps by now you have made a decision. I hope you got through your first chemo well and second. Our external features do mean something. To some more than others. Being bald was a different time. But I wasn't as young as you, and my Dh had CA dx'd 3 months after me and we had a pic of us being bald at the same time. He's gone now. Bald or hair I'd rather have him here.

 IF your hair loss means you are not going to get cancer again-----------then it is a short blip on the radar of your life.

 A wig can do something--------so can scarves creatively done. Personally, from the previous post I preferred scarves. But each of us has to make a choice of our own

Please, Image is important to our self-worth, but you are a beautiful young woman. The most important thing is survival. What ever it takes to survive ---------all else is inconsequential.

L&H's sas

bella76

I had my 3rd FEC treatment on wednesday and my husband shaved my hair to a number 4 on Saturday. I've still got alot of hair to be honest, is that normal?  I really expected to be bald by now. I've lost hair from everywhere else, except my eyebrows and eyelashes. 

I went out yesterday for the first time with my wig, its nice but nothing can compare to your real hair can it. 

sas-schatzi

Bella---------keep the faith that all of the stuff you are going through is worth every minute of it. I remember when my Dh cut mine off. What a laugh we had doing it. It was irony. I'm a nurse and we are weird. Don't let your hair bring you down. Please, it's all clucking chicken poop.

 Try the OMG THEY FOUND A CURE FOR STUPID thread from page one--------it nonsense humor that will , I promise make you laugh. It will be a nice diversion for both you and DH if he wants to read it too.  We started clucking about page 40. Start by making a tin foil hat that must / should be worn while reading the thread. Keep your Bounty near by, and make sure your bladder is empty. I will go get the link and bring it back.

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/765586?page=1

The women of the catholic thread are going to start a novena next week. You don't have to Catholic to join us. I'll bring back that link too. L&H&P's sweetie , you can get through this, hold on Namaste sheila

This link will explain what's happening, the link to the Intentions page is in the instruction post that I wrote near the bottom.

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/38/topic/738190?page=256#idx_7672

ruthbru

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

MizMarie

I refused to get a "chemo cut" - I had my regular trim the day after my first treatment, which lasted three weeks before my scalp became unbearably sore and I had a few bald spots that I just could no longer hide.  DH buzzed my head, but I could not watch in the mirror...  I kept my eyes closed and I cried the whole time.  No SE could be worse, as far as I'm concerned, and tears still sting my eyes to remember that awful day.   

I was very surprised that the stubble that was left quickly turned white.  I sure hope it doesn't grow back that way! 

TAPPY

I am getting my shoulder length hair cut short this weekend...I used to wear it really short so I know what I am getting.  That way when it falls out it wont be as tramatic (or so I tell myself)

I did get a wig, but I just dont think I can do it...I thing scarves with a hat looks cute and at least it will be during the winter.

And who knows if I go bald at work - who is going to want to come complain (I work in HR) to me...so maybe I can work it to my advantage ha !

Honestly...if my hair falling out is the worst side effect I have then it will be worth it....(me trying to be positive)

sas-schatzi

Miz marie----should your hair grow back gray------you can color once the okay is given. For me the year before Bc I decided to no longer be a part of the color of the month club. I had long gray shoulder length hair with bangs. I still could put it up for work.

Once it grew back in, it came in all these marvelous colors of gray, steel silver, black,white, shiny,  healthy. I did increase the fish oil to 4 gms a day----2 in am 2 in pm. My hairdresser agrees that a colorist couldn't recreate what I have now. The texture is soft and silky. In coloring days it was hard to keep those qualities---er---non existent. All is choice and perception. This suits me quite well. I'm in awe of how healthy it looks based on the last few years of hell. Then in the coloring days , I kept referring to having a bad hair decade. So often now I have people commenting positively about my hair. I know this doesn't happen for everyone. But gray and a fun style aren't what our mothers had------blue hair and perms.

SantaCruzMommyof2

Hi Bella76!  I wanted to chime in here about your hair journey also...I didn't do cold caps for my first chemo treatment of Taxotere/Herceptin because I just couldn't get it together enough to buy them in time (four Elastogel caps, $85 each on Amazon), and my hair started to shed around two weeks later as is normal.  But I didn't lose all of it from that first dose and I started cold caps for treatment #2.  I really think they work, especially if you do it from the start, but it is kind of a pain in the butt with the dry ice, coolers, etc.  My contractor husband likes having a task though, and he gets to use his laser thermometer...

I didn't shave it; somehow for me, going through the process of losing most of it was interesting and helped me get used to it since it was gradual; no clumps, just consistent shedding like what I used to get after washing every other day...but it didn't stop!  Anyhow, it just felt like the right thing for me. 

Before cancer, I had cut my below-shoulder wavy hippie hair into a pretty short cut (typical post-baby thing to do!), so luckily it wasn't so traumatic.  Now I do little wispy ponytails on each side under funky caps and hats, fits my style and worth it to be able to run out the door without thinking too much about how I look.  Mother-in-law bought me scarves (haven't worn any so far) and an expensive, very natural looking wig (only worn once to amuse visiting relatives) and even some half-hair that I thought I would use under hats but my wisps are hanging in there.  For those who say "it's just hair, big deal," I basically agree...but I can't wait to HAVE it again! 

sas-schatzi

SCM2-----I checked your birth age-----1970 yes. Please at some point spend an afternoon with your MIL. She might have some fun ways to show you how to use scarves. Late50-70's scarves were part of the fashion attire. It was different if you were a southern bell or hippy. If you have a closeness with her, even if you don't. It may be a great afternoon b/c she' going to tell you stories that her husband hasn't even heard. Have a baby sitter if children ,and kids taken care of into the evening by hubby or babysitter if you decided to imbibe together and a couple good bottles of wine/whatever. You have an opportunity. She cared enough about the scarves.

MY MIL-----, she would have never done anything so kind.

So, until you have an afternoon with just you two , you will never know her intent. Once you know her intent--------you could have a grand friendship- bonded. Conversely, she could really piss you off. But until all is said and done you won't know. It could be an afternoon that grows to a deep love for her, or dislike. Take the risk------if it ends in great love for her , just think you may have missed it. If you end up disliking, her well same thing ----you know. But to have missed the first would be a travesty.

I could do no thing right for MIL, SIL'S could do no wrong. One her DD.

 My DH I know had a totally different and healthier love for my MOM than his own MOM, but LOL, They bonded over sports. She said she would watch American football with him, if he watched baseball, golf, and hockey with her. Duh was he in heaven. Then they agreed to watch Nascar.--------When she moved up north with my twin and stayed with her. My DH said I miss my Gertie. WHY? "I have know one to watch sports with". I tried, but had to have a book in hand.

I felt his words were such attribute to there relationship----------always has made me glad. The memory now is even more special.

 Hope you don't mind I'm going to transfer a copy to the Catholic thread, Many there have a history of Us----DH AND ME------we also tell lots of stories about our moms on the thread. Once transferrred I will take out your intialls , but leave in age, so as to give a time context Namaste sheila