Approaching 1 year 'cancerversary'

jan508

Hi All:

This Tuesday will be one year since my DMX with TE's. 

I know I should be happy but I'm going through this slight depression or 'cancer funk' as I like to call it.

I feel great and I'm exercising 6 days a week even though I can't lose any weight I've been on Taxoxifen 11 months and having SE's that seem to come and go.

I have one more procedure (tattoos) and I'll be done.  My next MO appt is the end of November when he will take blood...anxious about that!

Is it normal to feel a little 'down in the dumps' during this time?

Thanks

Jan

chrissyb

Hi Jan, I would say it's very  normal to feel a little down in the dumps at this time.  You have had a traumatic year filled with surgery and treatment and now you are feeling a little apprehensive as things have slowed down on the treatment side of things.  Stay busy and as close as possible to your normal routine and you will find that the downs will start to rise and you will feel better.  Good luck!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

jan508

Thanks Chrissy!

I'll remember that.

Jan

thefuzzylemon

Oh girl....yes.  I've talked to several friends who have experienced the same.  It's challenging after a year of appointments, tests, scans, drugs, other drugs, side effects ... when you get the chance to slow down, it feels unsettling - a few have mentioned that they feel like they NEED to be doing something to keep the cancer away. 

My ONC just told me a few days ago to, let it go.  It's time to move forward.  Don't let the thoughts consume you.  Which I thought was a little pre-mature since I'm still in Rads.  But, as I near the end of treatments, I believe he is right.  It's been one step at a time since the beginning of this journey, and it gives me the opportunity to enjoy those steps just a little more.

Be proud of yourself for reaching out and recognizing your feelings.  Do what you can to find the "normal" that makes you happy

Outfield

I have noticed lots of one-year markers passing.  Or more I guess I have been thinking a lot about what I was doing one year ago today.  The biopsy was a hard one.  Even though I didn't get the official results that day, I definitely knew.  I made sure to have a full schedule with my family June 18th this year.  I still have the dates of my chemos in my head, and as I've gone through the summer I just keep remembering how sick I was a year ago.  Which days I was in the hospital with fever, which days I was vomiting.  

Flashbacks are hard, but they also put how I feel now in a different perspective.  Yes, I'm definitely still thinking about my cancer a lot and still have a lot of down times and anxious times, I am also so thankful to feel the way I do now.

I can't see how it couldn't be common to have a wave of complicated feelings as these dates go by.   And I love that advice to about finding the normal that makes you happy.