Feeling very scared and sad. My mom died of bc.

Sunflower64

Hi girls,

I just found out today that my mom did die from bc. She passed away July 8th. She had many health issues. We all assumed it was her heart because she had chf. We all knew her cancer was progressing but she was on O2 because of her heart. She had declined this past year. Anyway we went to see her MD today and he did confirm it was bc. It was so chaotic during her short hospital stay and you know how sometimes u don't catch the doctors when they are in and we called hospice in and 2 days later she passed. I feel sick to my stomach and feel like I will be following in her path. Part of me felt better thinking it was her heart and not the cancer. It made me feel more hopeful for me. I don't carry the gene and my two sisters have not had bc. Just my mom and me. It is really hard to live with that in the back of your mind. Did any of your moms pass because of bc? I need some support.

Thanks for listening,

Diane

mdg

Most breast cancer patients don't have a history of BC.  I only had one aunt that got it in her late 70's.  No other family members had BC.  If you read the stats a majority of the people that get it have no family history which I never knew until I got BC and started reading.  I am sure there are women on this site that had a family history like you. 

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I wish there was something I could say that would help....hugs!

Sunflower64

bump

Traci-----TripNeg

Diane, I'm very sorry to hear about your Mom. I've got three Sisters, and all of us have had cancer. Three BC, and one, (the only one without the BRCA gene) uterine cancer. So far, we are all still alive, and relatively, well. First Sis got BC 13 years ago. If there is one thing I've learned from BCO, and every day life, in the past 4 years, 6 months, and I'm too lazy to count exact number of days, it's that cancer is random. It doesn't discriminate, and statistics, nor initial stage at diagnosis, really....don't matter.

I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but the fact that your Mom died from BC, and that you are dealing with it now, doesn't define your fate, and I hope and pray that you can live for today, and look forward to tomorrow. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? None of us do, that's for sure.

Sincerely, 

Traci

PinkShirtNow

Big hugs to you, Diane.  I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I know it must be doubly scary for you as you fight your own battle with BC.  Treatment has come so far since your mom was diagnosed so try not to compare her outcome to yours.

 Traci is right about BC being so random.  There is no history of BC in my family.  I have always taken good care of myself with diet and exercise, I don't drink and I have never smoked.  I don't even drink caffeine after my doctor told me to cut down when I first had breast cysts. I faithfully had annual mammograms and breast exams, yet I end finding a 3.9cm tumor in my breast during a self exam.  One of my first thoughts after my diagnosis was "what the hell did I do wrong???" 

So, I have no family history and my only risk factor is that I am female.  My only sister died from a childhood brain tumor that metastasized to her spine.  The whole cancer thing just sucks.

Claire_in_Seattle

Hi Diane,

First of all, I am so sorry about your mother.  I am sorry she died, and I am sorry she had so many other health issues going on.  This must be a very difficult time for you as well as a shock.

Now, on to YOU.  I am assuming that you are a very healthy woman and are undergoing all the recommended therapies.  If so, your chances of being cured are better than 80%.  Yes, either one of us could have a recurrance but the chances are overwhelmingly against this.  I was also lucky that it was a car behind me that stopped when I wiped out on my bicycle in the rain earlier this summer and not a truck.

You get the picture.

I have personally been focusing on taking my life to a new and wonderful place now that my energy is back to 100%. Actually, more like 110% as now stronger and fitter than ever. My challenge is finding the next stop in my career, but I am stoked because I needed to move forward anyway.

Now that I am past everything, I am looking at the past two years as "the period when my life got hijacked". I make a point of doing new things and living each day to the fullest.

Both my parents are gone, and I greatly miss them. Dad died from complications of diabetes and I do watch that one, as in no way want to go down that path. I am highly unlikely to get the lung cancer that claimed my mother's life as never smoked.

So mourn your mother, and be grateful for her life. Treatment is so much better than it was when she was diagnosed (not sure when this was, but suspect more than 5 years ago). You have everything to look forward to.

And finally remember that we are are all here for a limited time, and we need to make the most of all the wonderful things that come our way.   Feel tons better. - Claire 

Soccermom4force

Diane, my Mom passed from Complications of metastatic BC while I was in treatment for BC.

(We are BRCA - negative despite a nasty family history)

Just want to send you a gentle understanding hug,

Marcia

dsengplute

Hi Diane:

My Mom had breast cancer about 35 years ago, she had a radical mastectomy with no follow up treatment.  Some years later she had uterin cancer, many years after that lung cancer and currently has colon cancer.  It wasn't until I was diagnosed and encouraged to have chemo and take femora after my double mastectomy that I realized the likelihood of all Mom's cancer being related to the bc.  It is my belief that worry creates or at least helps cancer thrive so please believe that you are safe and only deal with whatever you have to in that moment.  

In healing light, 

Donna 

Sunflower64

TO ALL WHO TOOK THE TIME TO SUPPORT ME:

A BIG BIG THANK YOU!!! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME THAT U CARE ENOUGH TO TAKE THE TIME TO SUPPORT ME. I KNOW I CAN ALWAYS FEEL BETTER HERE.

I APPRECIATE IT SO  MUCH!

mrsnjband

So sorry to hear about your loosing your mom.  Sending a cyber {{{{HUB}}}} NJ