Keep on dreamin'

sandejosgirl

I have been struggling lately with holding two things in tension: 1. the reality that TNBC has a very high mets re-occurance rate and trying to take care of anything now that might be helpful should that happen, like a will; and 2. coming up with new dreams of what I could do with the rest of my life if I get to live another 50 years (I'm 33).

So... I thought I'd start a thread. What are your dreams for the future?

sandejosgirl

My dream for the future is to be able to have that REALLY big family that we always wanted. Like, Deugger family big.  We have 4 kids, ages 7 and under. I'm in chemopause now. So, if I never get to have another child of my body, I want to adopt a sibling group out of foster care.  Maybe wait til that magic 5 year mark, then get the ball rolling.  I want more kids, kids need homes, good fit?

Titan

Sande...with tn studies have shown that after THREE YEARS risk of reocurrence drops...

I dunno..my DD is getting married in 4 weeks...she has been engaged for over one year..my goal (plus my fear) was that I would not make it to the wedding....that there would be a remembrance candle for me on the altar)..the wedding is in 4 weeks..I think I may be there...

After that..well I need another goal..I'm 51..and though my kids think that I'm DONE..well..I'm not..I have alot I want to do yet.

Lynn18

sandejosgirl:

I think having a big family is a great dream.  And Titan is right, the magic number for TNBC seems to be closer to 3 years instead of 5, so maybe you could start even sooner.  

Titan, I am glad you will be there for your daughter's wedding.  And hopefully for many many years after that.

I really want to travel.  More than anything, I want to see my daughter graduate from high school in about 4 years. 

sandejosgirl

Congrats Titan in making it to such a huge milestone!! What a great day coming up!

Lynn, I really want to go to Italy. My husband & I have been married for 8 years, we are hoping for our 10 year anniversary we can plan a trip. Our savings were just totally wiped out this year, but that gives us two years to save!

LRM216

My scenario is a bit different in that I was diagnosed at age 62 (64 now), so I have had so much more time than so many of you and it just breaks my heart that you young ones have to deal with having this disgusting beast of a disease to confront.  I oftentimes feel selfish for hoping I live to see many more years; however, having said that, I suppose age really isn't a factor, as we all want to continue to live painfree, functionable lives for as long as we can.  My mom is a healthy and vital 88 year old, God bless her! 

I have also been raising my teenage grand-daughter, while my sister raises my 9 year old grand-son, as their Mom has been too ill off and of for many years, so we have been raising them with her assistance when she was not hospitalized, etc.  The children lost their mom and I my beloved daughter due to "failure to thrive" this past March.  While she is no longer in pain and having to fight for her life on a daily basis, we were all devastated and still are by no longer having her.

So, my wish for the future is to remain healthy and cancer-free in order to see these two beautiful children attain adulthood and successful lives.  It's the goal that keeps me going.

Linda

TifJ

Great thread! As most women with young children-my wish is to see them graduate, get married, have babies! My Mom passed when I was 33, but i have a brother and sister who were 11 and 13 and it was very hard for them as my stepdad had no clue how to go it alone. At least I know my husband could handle it! My Mom never knew my husband or our kids.

I would also love to travel to Europe! I was born in Germany and would love to get to see it before I die (hopefully of old age!)

Titan-I bet you are so excited! When my daughter (or son) gets married, I will be sobbing like a baby! I am hopeful as they are only 6 and 9!

Linda- I can't imagine losing a child, at any age, but your grandchildren are truly blessed to have you!

curlygirl614

Love this thread! I am 26 so have many years of dreams ahead of me. I want to marry my boyfriend, have one or two children, travel, go to grad school, have a career that I love, and live to a ripe old age. My mother died in her 50s from breast cancer - I found my TNBC early and hope that I'll be able to do everything she couldn't do because her cancer was found too late.

Another dream is that scientists will find better ways to treat hereditary breast cancer. I have BRCA and I know that there is a chance I could pass the gene on to my children. I hate to think that my children will have to go through what I'm going through because I've passed on this gene, so I truly hope treatment and cure rates are better so my children won't be burdened by this. 

Luah

Be around long enough to see my kids get through their education, get settled in careers they love, find their life soul-mates and have kids. Write a book. Travel lots!  Make a difference as a volunteer. Be able to spend 6 months of the year in ski country - and ski til I die. Is that too much to ask?     

Suze35

I want to go to a Superbowl!

And of course, watch my kids grow up :-).

Diagnosis: 9/17/2010, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIc, Grade 3, 8/12 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-

Natee

Triple neg also, diagnosed 2003...gonna watch my daughter get married in October, see my son's boys grow up...find the positive in every day

Fighter_34

Immediate goals: getting the house decorated and getting to the islands as SOON as possible!!! We purchased our first home right before my Dx.

Long term: to watch my youngins grow up, go off to college, and get married. YES!

Daily: just thankful for the little things. I have no chronic pains or depression. I am brusied but not broken!!!

IslandGirl50

I am 50 and been happily married for almost 28 years.  My son is 25 married and has a 2 year old.  I would like for my granddaughter to be old enough to remember me well.  I would love for her to tell stories about me to her children.

I want to vacation in the islands every year at least twice a year as I have been for the last 6.

I want my husband to know that he is and always has been my best friend for 30 years. He has no idea what he means to me.

I want to appreciate each and every moment.

I hate this disease that makes me worry so much and be so scared.

LRM216

Natee:

Since 2003?????  Now that is the kind of news we so need to hear!  Keep on keeping on, Natee - that's wonderful to read.

Thepeddlerswife

Natee, thank you so much for posting this uplifting news. My daughters journey is just beginning and she was given the news today that this is a very agressive cancer and she is triple neg. We find out on Thurs. what chemo they will use which they said will be as agressive as the cancer is. Need to get prepared for this roller coaster and stock up on the things she may need. Thank goodness for the lists that are here. You guys are the best! Gotta pull myself together.

Natee

Good luck to your daughter Kim,be strong for her, she needs you! The journey is tough, but you come out on the other side, way stronger than you ever thought you could be...and thank you LRM for your kind words...