elderly friend with her2 breast cancer

bleugirl4

I am hoping to receive some advice from anyone who has an elderly family member/friend who has been Dx with her2 breast cancer.I am very concerned about my friend's quality of life.I am overstepping the line here because I am not a member of her family(who are not actively involved in her healthcare/treatment)but I am a dear friend and I accompany her to weekly chemo treaments and Dr. appointments.My friend is 86 years old and was dx almost 3 years ago.She went 1 year without telling anyone and without any treatment.She is very conflicted about receiving chemo as she is a big advocate of homeopathic medicine and her family physician is a homeopath.He does not want her to have chemo but instead he wants to treat her with homeopathic preparations.Her oncologist has not been very upfront (as far as I can tell) with her about the extent of her disease.She also has complicating severe CHF.My friend is very weak and feels terrible everyday from the chemo.She says she feels she has no choice in the matter because she "is not ready to die."She is very sharp mentally and all her life has been very independent and a bit "controlling".I wish I could advise her.She frequently asks me what I think she should do.She is getting mixed messages from the medical community.She really believes I trhink that If she can grit and bear the chemo that her life will return to "normal".She gets to a certain point of feeling so sick that she stops the chemo and then she feels better but becomes afraid and restarts it.I hate to see her suffer so much physically,emotionally and spiritually.Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation?Thank you so much for any help and advice.

bleugirl4

Thank you so much for your prompt response.I think that is an excellent idea.I know there are support groups available at the cancer center where she is receiving treatment.I will approach the idea with her. She is a very private person and has had a hard time learning to accept support when it is offered. I think she views it as a weakness on her part.A partly generational attitude I think.This may be just the thing that will help her to open up a bit .She has mentioned trying Tai Chi classes which I would be happy to take with her.(I am 57 and Tai Chi could only benefit me as well  :-) You make an excellent point about giving her heart a rest by temporarily stopping the chemo.You sound very knowledgeable about this type of cancer and certainly proactive in your treatment. I wish you all the best.I have met so many beautiful,amazing and courageous women during the course of my friend's treatment.The wonderful healing Angels that work at the center are beyond comparison.I will keep you in  my prayers.Many blessings!