Sept 2011 Rads

justmejanis

dogeyed it sounds like you can't catch a break either!  I cannot believe that your RO would not prescribe pain meds.  Mine did....he did not even hesitate.  I can't use Silverdene as I am allergic to sulfa.  Now you have a Super Infection?  Do they know what caused that to happen?  I have so much open raw skin I worry about infection.  I hope the antibiotics clear it up quickly. 

kll22

I'm sorry to hear so many of you are having a rough time with rads. Congrats to those that are finished.  I'm at 24 of 33 - just 4 more regular and 5 boosts.  My tech told me the tape and Sharpie can come off Thursday after I finish the regular rads.  I can't tell you how excited I was to hear that!  I hope everyone has a relaxing and healing weekend!  

Anonymous

Dogeyed, that was absolutely beautiful! I didn't know you are a writer. Do you have anything published?

Ashleere, I have nothing good to say about ROs, lol. But, thank God you went to your normal dr. I hope that clears up quickly. Can't believe doctors, we have to have them, but you'll want to hurt them. Hang in there, I'm hangin as tight as I can too. (((hugs)))

katehudson25

My boost area is healing Yeah! I am sorry so many of you are having serious problems. For those who have not started, do not be discouraged. Not everyone has serious problems. The only discomfort I had was a little bit of itching at night. Remember to moisturize, moisturize, and moisturize.

ksmatthews

I have 7 more to go.  I am a little red and I have a rash in between my boobs.  I think it is a skin yeast infection ( i have had this several times since being dx with BC), My RO did prescribe a cream to use and I am still using Miaderm.  It is really not too bad, just itches a little bit.  But I really cannot wait to be finished.

Ceeztheday

Hello ladies. First, let me apologize in advance for my rant. Before I was dx, I felt healthy and full of optimism. After the dx, I was concerned, but still felt healthy and hopeful. After the surgery, with the margins clean, I again felt healthy and full of hope. I did not have to do chemo for which I am very thankful. Then, I started Tamoxifen and have had only minor SE so I felt healthy and proactive because I was doing something to prevent recurrence. While it was an emotional roller coaster, I NEVER felt sick during any of this. Now, since rads started (I've completed 26 of 35), I feel sick, sore, sad, and unhealthy. It is a feeling like I've never felt. Like I'll never be well again. I know it's stupid and not logical, but it's my emotions overruling my brain. I now wish I had done the MX instead of the lumpectomy, if I could have avoided rads. I'm so sorry to put this off on everyone, but I know that some of you know how I feel. I wanted to put something on this discussion group because I needed to take off my happy face for just a minute (I always feel like I have to have the happy face for my friends and coworkers). Thank you for listening. Just getting it out has made me feel much better. Onward and upward...

neecee

Ceezetheday - rant away!  I have had a really negative emotional reaction to radiation, too.  I did fine with surgery, fine with chemo.  Oh, a tear here and there, but not great emotional distress.  Then came radiation.  I cried through my first three treatments.  I still cry during some treatments if things are even the littlest bit different than normal.  I am a generally happy, upbeat person.  I can put a positive spin on almost anything.  I can wear a smile through almost anything.  But not rads. 

I have 10 treatments left - 23 of 33 done.   I will be so glad when this is behind me, as I am sure you will be, too.

Hang in there!

Ceeztheday

Thank you so much neecee! We will be finishing at almost the same time. Hooray!!

katehudson25

Hi Neece and Ceeztheday, I am sorry that you are both feeling bad. Hang in there you will be okay. Maybe it is because this is your last treatment, and you didn't break down during the surgery, or chemo, or whatever, and because it is the last of your treatments you are feeling the emotional roller coster now, instead of back then. Having cancer is very emotional, and do you  think it is possible that you are having a   delayed emotional reaction.. Thank God I didn't have to do chemo, but I think radiation would be a breeze instead of doing chemo. I had two lumpectonies, and surgery and waiting for pathology reports were very emotional for me, but during radiation I was fine. You never have to apologize for ranting. If you are not feeling well rant, rant and rant sme more. I hope you both will be feeling better soon. 

Ceeztheday

Thank you kate.

Natters

Ceezetheday, I do know how you feel. Before my dx, I thought I was possibly in the best shape in my life. Even after the dx. But these treatments are making it hard on me to feel healthy and normal, despite only having DCIS and good margins and tolerating Tamox the past month. But my RO really scared me because he seemed to think I'd have to be fairly sedentary for a couple months with rads. And that is why I've put it off. I finally have a start date now -Oct 24. One day after my last race this season, so I'm fine with it. I'm sure I'll be with a whole new group in the Nov Rads group, but it's totally worth it for weeks like we're having now in Western PA. Sunny and 70-80 degrees, and I feel healthy and happy running and paddling my boat. I can feel like crap when it's cold out and somehow that seems more acceptable to me....of course I'll always wonder if it's my fault somehow if I get a recurrence in this breast, especially if it's in the same area, but I just feel like I need a little extra time right now, to feel some sense of control over this disease and my own life.

Ceeztheday

Natters - I am so glad that you were able to delay the start to do your running and boating. That is wonderful. I believe you have the right idea about being less active when it's cold outside. I'm in south, south, south Texas and we hardly ever get any cold weather, so I'm no expert, but it sounds like a great plan that you have!

pam53

Natters,  I so understand. I delayed radiation to do a bike trip.  I didn't know if I was doing the right thing.  But having done it, I know I did.  I came back, feeling refreshed both mentally and physically and feeling like my old self (before BC).  I am only 9 out of 34 rads and it is going well.  Absolutely no fatigue, a little pink color, a little itchy but now, thanks to my vacation, I know I can do this.  My attitude is so much better.

I think you will do well too.  You got your boating in.  You will be ready mentally and physically to deal with what treatment dishes you.  Best of luck!

Anonymous

Ceeztheday, Please don't for a second feel bad about ranting.  And I too feel the same way about rads. I was so happy that BMX was up to me and not recommended right from the start, I was not mentally able to say do the BMX.  I wanted to do anything but BMX, now, if I had a crystal ball and knew what rads was going to do to me...I would have and wish I could have done that and avoided the rads. As I type this, its 2am, I woke up in so much pain I had to take a pill. I'm waiting for it to kick in so I can go back to bed.

Heres my new thought:  Volcanoes are shaped like a radiated breast because some Greek Goddess must have had radiation for breast cancer. When her boob started shooting out flames she was so pissed she left volcanoes here on earth as a symbol to the pain we must endure! lol

Hang in there girl!

DivineMrsM

Going in to it, I also thought the rads wouldn't be too bad, but I continued to be on an emotional roller coaster throughout.  I had chemo from Feb to June, and it was rough but do-able.  Rads is a different kind of rough.  I also felt very healthy prior to my dx at the beginning of this year.  Then I went on to fight this ugly disease and it has changed certain parts of me, my outlook and perspective of life.  I didn't want to change, but it was simply unavoidable.  Now I look like Woody Woodpecker with my short spiky hair growth, I feel much older than my 53 years, experiencing menopause, joint pain and hot flashes. Oh, and now a burned breast. Dealing with all of the other things life throws at you regardless of what you are experiencing physically.  At times it sucks.  I can understand anyone/everyone's ranting about going thru this experience.

They say that some suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome at some point after a breast cancer dx.  I believe that happened to me.  It hit me after chemo was done.  I think I may have been in shock or denial for a number of months after my dx, and then it hit me that it was real.  

One medical person in my life, the nurse practitioner at my primary care physician's office, has been the most wonderful, thorough, calming influence during my ordeal.  She's helped me find an anti anxiety med that helps (found one after 4 different kinds did not work).

neecee

Divine Mrs M - You said it so well:, "Rads is a different kind of rough".  For me, chemo was challenging physically.  Rads are challenging emotionally.

Elizabeth1889

Hi neecee,

So sorry that you are getting a rough time with rads.  You are so right about rads.  I, too, found it emotionally painful.  I had physical pain sometimes with chemo and I would take physical pain any day over emotional pain.  I hope you will feel better in every way once rads are done. 

Ceeztheday

Thanks to everyone for your comments. It is helpful to know that you are not alone (even tho' it makes me sad to know that you all are having this experience also). Hugs.

Patty252555140415

Hello, tomorrow is my last rad tx. I'm really suffering with the burns. My sn biopsy is looking like it is turning black. I think I have to use something different than aquaphor,hydracortisone and aloe. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks Patty

katehudson25

Congratulations Patty you are almost done. I didn't burn too badly and I used Udderly smooth body cream( oinly $6 at cvs-it is a heavy cream) and Miadern. Did you ask your R O what to use on your burns?

SAB

Patty, so sorry to hear that you are hurting.  My sn site is sore too... in addition to aloe my RO suggested calendula cream by boiron.  When that seemed to be losing some of its effectiveness she gave me some samples of miaderm and Xclair cream, which is an rx.  I must say that the Miaderm was very expensive to buy, and not worth it for my skin type...it didn't really seem to do more (for me) than the aloe and calendula.See if your RO has samples before you spend thirty bucks on it.  (Or try Kate's suggestion instead!) I just started the Xclair and it seems good.  I have an rx plan so it is affordable. Good luck!  I'm right behind you--one more full breast and 8 boosts to go.

ashleere

Congrats patty, you are almost finished. Yeah!!!

Ceesetheday-- i am right there with you . I wish i had the BMX instead of lumpectomy. This radiation is really affecting me emotionally as well as physically.  I have 7 full breast and 5 boosts to go and I cannot wait until this is over. 

Stormy -- love the volcano story - exactly how I feel sometime -like i'm on fire.

Good night everyone. Hugs to you all.

tamcathtech

Ceezetheday: Your rant is what a lot of us are going through and just can't put into words. I did fine with biopsy and lumpectomy but radiation is exhausting mentally and physically. Most everyone told me "oh radiation is a piece of cake, i hardly burned, i worked the whole time" those are comments from people who had had cancer. However, NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME. At the end of 3 weeks I got the physical fatigue, at the start of week 5 cut back to 2 days a week at work,  at the end of 5 weeks the sever burning kicked in.....On Monday Oct 3 I had my last of 25 full breast tx my RO looked at me, saw the tears and pain on my face, and stopped treatments and no work for a week,  I still have 11 boosts to tumor area, to hopefully restart tomorrow am. Cancer sucks, Radiation sucks, not working sucks, being home alone all day sucks.....but I dont want to be around anyone most days.

Stormy I so love the volcano analogy, describes it perfectly!!

Now that most the skin has peeled of and new skin is regenerating time to go back tomorrow and burn that I suppose(sarcasm).

Patty, glad you are done, take care everyone will update you tomorrow!!

Ceeztheday

Tam - I'm sending you a hug! We can get through this together. Thank you for sharing.

Elizabeth1889

Tam:  It does get better.  Sending you hugs until then.

revmama5

Hello Ladies;

I thought I had a problem. I cried and felt just mad going to rads the first 3 times as well. I want this over I have been so tired. The RO said it's nothing to be done about the fatigue . I'm lubing good felt a lot of pain to the back of my back. More like a sizzling, it felt weird. Everyone catch me up. Also I'm featured in this month Oct 2011 healthsourcemagazine.com  Hope you can get a peek.Neece you can pick one up at any Gate Gas station.

neecee

Revmama - I will stop by to get one!

Natters

I don't know which one was you but I enjoyed reading all the profiles in that magazine - thanks for sharing, Revmama. Although that was so sad about Ashley Daniel. My heart bleeds for her mama.

If anyone else wants to look it up, go to healthsourcemag.com and click on the pic labeled "Current Issue" where it says Full Virtual Editions along the righthand side of the webpage.

I dunno if this link will work to get you there directly or not: 

trendmag2.trendmagoffset.com/publication/?i=83606 

Purl51

11 down, 22 to go.  Miaderm, Aloe Vera and Aquaphor.  Layering everyday after the morning treatment.  I agree the rads are a lit more of an emotional challenge.  It's really warming up here and I've been wearing a loose "barely there" brand cotton bra "over" a t-shirt, then a loose fitting blouse or blazer.  Lord help me when a hot flash occurs at work (especially during a meeting).  Funny story??   Last sunday evening I went to bed after taking an Ambien to sleep, got up to tinkle, tripped over a throw pillow and banged my upper forward quite hard on the corner of the wall.  A small cut has now resulted in two big black eyes!!  Soooooooooo, I'm wearing a cotton cap, sweating, itchy and look like a boxer who most likely did not win the fight.  I have to smile; too crazy of a ride over the last few months!

katehudson25

Lavender51 so sorry this happened to you, but so glad that you have a sense of humor about it. Be well and hugs!