In A Funk and Hate The World

KELL414240

Yes, I know I should be grateful for my diagnosis, blah, blah, blah. I should be grateful they are doing a pet scan the first of Sept to see if bone scan really shows anything. I should be grateful for my wonderful husband and beautiful daughter. I should be grateful for my wonderful extended family, friends and church. I should be grateful for my job but I hate the world right now. I hate the lady who knocked over my mailbox with her car and thought no one saw. I hate my dear family right now. I just hate everyone. I hate myself!!!!! Is this scanxiety? I have meds but no daily anit depressants and don't think I've needed them before. I have dropped the f bomb like it was nothing today. I never, never drop that. What is wrong with me? Anybody else have days, weeks like this and just get over it?

CoolBreeze

I'm sorry you are so upset.  No, I don't hate the world.   The world is beautiful and I hope to see it for a long, long time.  

I think it's normal to be angry at a cancer diagnosis but yours was a few years ago.  If it keeps up, you might want to try an antidepressent.

When I have scanxiety, it manifests itself as an inability to concentrate; I pace, I feel butterflies in my stomach.  It doesn't usually start until the day of my doctor's appointment when I will find out the results.  I have a scan on the 8th to find out of the tumors on my liver shrunk, and I don't see the doctor until the 17th.  I don't think I'll have scanxiety until the day of the 17th.

But, that's me, you could be experiencing scanxiety.  If it goes away when your scan is over, you'll know that's what it was.    

YramAL

KELL-I have days like that too. In fact I'm having one today. 

I find that mine come when I feel like I have no control over my life, or what is going on around me. I have been on anti-anxiety meds in the past, but I don't feel the need right now. If my foul mood persists more than a few days, I'll reconsider.

I hope you feel better soon.

Mary 

pickle

I have had days and even weeks like that. Sorry you are going through it.

It sounds like this is out of character for you and has just come up so I would attribute it to scanxiety. I think most of us go through that when we have to have tests done or are waiting for results. If this is a prolonged funk for you then perhaps it would be prudent to speak to your doc about an antidepressant. I am 2 1/2 years out from my dx and I just started Effexor  4 weeks ago. I wish I had started it sooner but I didn't want to admit that I needed a little help to get out of a funk. I felt guilty for being angry or down at times. Vicious cycle, and as women, we are notorious for being so hard on ourselves.

I hope you start feeling better. Be kind to yourself.

BTW, the name of your town put a smile on my face. Old Hickory sounds like such a quaint and lovely place.

Hugs

Beth 

KELL414240

Feel much better now. Thanks for all the words of encouragement