Beach-topless?

Hauntie

I've thought about this question since first diagnosed almost 17 years ago. At the time I had a single MX, but wondered if women who had BMX could legally go topless. I had a PMX about 3 weeks ago. I don't think I'll be going topless anytime soon. Not so much because of my scars, but because with my overweight body, I attract enough attention as it is. I have just always HATED wet bathing suit tops. It would be so much more comfortable to go without. I've perfected this little switcheroo move where I exchange my wet top for a dry t shirt while sitting in my beach chair. I don't know about the scaring children part. Why is showing your scars from a BMX any different from showing any other scars?  I'm more disturbed by the guys with man boobs who go around shirtless and the men wearing speedos - cover up guys!!

Granuaile

I know this sounds weird, but I love my scar. It's a big one, like everyone else's, 9 inches across, from the center of my chest to under my arm. I don't think it's unsightly at all. Neither do my kids. I would have no problem letting anyone see it, and I don't think it's offensive. Once I get my other breast reduced in two weeks (hooray!!), I'm looking forward to having a smaller, flatter front. Not sure what this means in terms of bathing suits (a one-sided Grecian style, perhaps????)

Erica3681

Granuaile,

Speaking of Grecian-style, check out this suit by Chikara Designs. She has other suits for uni mastectomies, too: http://www.chikaradesign.com/flash.html#/collection/swimwear/1.

I know what you mean about your scar. I have two long scars. It's been almost five years for me and my chest feels and looks normal to me now. I like my boyish body, in private at least. Still not ready to go flat in public, though, even though I admire those of you who do.

Annie62

Missed this back when it was hot outside and not raining. But there is a topless beach in Sandy Hook, NJ - not that far from Delaware. It's on the far end of the beach and I've seen some topless ladies there. (with breasts). I'll bet if you google  it, you could get some more info.

 Annie

Lena

Y'know about 3 weeks after my BMX in May, on a warm day, I was out for a walk and noticed this guy walking his dog. All he had on was shorts and sandals, and I actually got to wondering, hey, since I don't have breasts anymore, I wonder if *I* could go topless in public and not get arrested? (once my chest was actually fully healed anyway LOL!) Back in my nefarious youth, I used to love kicking up some ruckus!

Radiation treatment this summer though made me rethink that, not to mention remember why I stopped going to the beach and totally avoiding the sun period, over two decades ago -- I hadn't had blistering second degree burns like I got from rads since my last trip to the beach -- only now it was on my chest, not on my back and arms! In my childhood, teens and early 20s, I used to love to swim in the ocean; would stay in for a couple hours at a time, and didn't use any lotion when I got out because I knew it would wash off as soon as I finished eating/bathrooming and was back in the water! Needless to say, my poor naturally pale skin burned like hell, and no, I never ever tanned (some people say they burn first, but then tan: not me!). Once the agony and blisters went away, I ended up peeling and totally white again (and that also happened on my chest in recovering from rads). So I don't think I'll try the naked chest in public thing after all!

Wow, Erica, I'm surprised, no, SHOCKED, to hear you say you don't feel confident enough to go out flat in public. I've seen your site and the fact you call it BreastFREE made me think you were totally accepting of your "new" body and had no problem going flat in public. I do go flat in public, even though I don't actually LIKE it (I once had a nice medium sized set of 34Cs I was happy with). I was very seriously considering immediate pedicle tram flap recon, but when I mentioned it to my doctors, they both medically disqualified me for any kind of recon (since I have IBC with skin involvement). Of course I know prostheses are an option at least (and I've seen some really nice pictures of ladies wearing them, including on your site), but since I had no choice but to wait for my chest to heal up enough first from surgery, then from rads so I'd be able to COMFORTABLY be fitted and wear them -- and it's only as of the last week or so since I reached that point -- I've had no choice but to go out flat, whether I like it or not. And since I've BEEN going around flat for...hmmm, almost 4 months now, I feel utterly foolish even THINKING about going out wearing prostheses. And then I also remind myself how much I hated wearing bras when I had my real breasts -- first thing I did when I got home from anywhere was take off my bra! So I don't really like how I look flat, but I also feel I have to face reality.

:::::sigh::::: 

Hauntie

Lena - I  had a PMX a month ago, almost 17 years after my BC diagnosis and MX. I'm LOVING my flatness. Like you, my bra was the first thing I would take off as soon as I got home. I was lopsided for a long, long time and would never go out in public without my prosthesis before the PMX. I just started back at work this week. I'm wearing light weight prostheses in a soft pull over bra. It feels like I'm playing dress up. Every morning, I strap on my boobs. And, they're the first thing I take off when I get home. I would rather go flat, but I figure for work, I should wear something. Other than work and dress up, I plan on going flat. I haven't noticed people taking any notice of it and if they do - too bad! I'm ok with the way I look and that's what's important.

Erica3681

Hi Lena,

BreastFree.org is all about choices. I believe that women should be offered the choice of not reconstructing as a positive alternative to reconstruction. I chose not to have reconstruction.  I never defined myself by my breasts and I don't think their loss has made me any less a woman or any less a confident person. I do, however, like the way I look in breast forms and I choose to wear them.

I didn't say in my post that I don't feel confident enough to go out in public without forms. What I did say is that I admire those of you who choose to do that. I'm a private person and I prefer not to draw attention to myself, so have chosen to look to the outside world as I did before my surgery. That doesn't mean I can't admire those who choose a different path. 

I am very definitely breast-free, I just choose not to go form-free.

From your post, it sounds as if you might have chosen to have reconstruction if you'd been medically cleared by your doctors. I'm really sorry you didn't have the option. But now that you're finally recovered from radiation, you can decide to wear breast forms some of the time, if you decide it's right for you. Or, you may decide you still prefer going flat. I wish you the best, whatever you choose.

Barbara

coraleliz

I'm good with being flat.I really don't think anyone notices or cares. Refused the prescription for prosthesis from my BS. I don't think my BMX scars look bad at all.  Just don't want to "share" with others. The majority of people don't know what BMX scars look like & I don't want to be the one to, or feel the need to, educate them. What would it really accomplish?

Lena

Hauntie, when I was lopsided I had a Bra Sock to even things out. Now that you mention this, yeah, I have to admit that I do like going out totally flat better than I did when I had to adjust that sock to make sure I was even! I was diagnosed with Stage IV and the oncologist I had at the time said mastectomy was not standard of care for Stage IV unless tumor was breaking out of the breast (which mine hadn't [yet] done). He did put me on aggressive chemo (6 rounds of TAC) then anti-estrogen drugs. The tumor in my right breast shrunk from treatment and it also got all misshapen and distorted looking -- hence the lopsidedness -- it looked as if I had a B on the right with my normal C on the left -- and having to stuff my right bra cup when I went out. When I moved last fall, I got a new oncologist (had to: it was a 300 mile move but as it happens I like her much better: she takes me seriously and is straight up with me, unlike my former oncologist). My new oncologist didn't share my original oncologist's opinion about mastectomy for Stage IV. When the Arimidex stopped working in March and I also developed a new tumor (of the same kind as the original) in the OTHER breast -- she decided BMX was necessary. Between that and the facts that this small white little "something" was now "finally" just starting to peek out from my right breast's nipple, and my Pack Rat urging me (he was pissed off with my former oncologist for not ordering a right mastectomy originally) -- I had the BMX.

Barbara, I'm sorry I misinterpreted what you said about your choice about not wanting to go out without prostheses. Actually I was on the fence about recon; I wasn't able to make up my mind about it on my own. Yeah, I wanted breasts, but I was EQUALLY scared to death of the extra surgery, pain, disabled recovery time as I wanted to have breasts. I already have a partially paralyzed left hand from a stroke I had in 1993 so the last thing I wanted was MORE disability! Since I was equally torn between wanting "real-ish" breasts -- I did know that IF I was going to have recon, I wanted the pedicle TRAM flap procedure -- and fear of the surgical sequelae, I thought discussing the whole idea with my oncologist and breast surgeon would help me decide. Both of them told me in no uncertain terms how seriously inadvisable reconstruction would be for me given my medical situation. I guess if you look at it that way, my doctors DID help me decide!

Although I gotta admit now, I think my original oncologist may have been right about ONE thing: mastectomy does NOT increase survival time or QOL for a Stage IV patient. I have skin mets again too now, including the location of my former right breast which was also irradiated, and it didn't stop mets from going to my peritoneum -- so I lost my whole spring and summer to BMX and radiation (surgical recovery, then major inconvenience plus side effects) for next to nothing. Docs say it would've been worse without these treatments and maybe they're right, but since I developed internal tissue mets ANYWAY (AFTER the surgery and DURING as well as after rads), I think I lost what is likely to be my last summer. Oh well....

mrsnjband

That is one brave confident woman.  If I had that great looking of body I'd just wear a cute top to go with that bottom.  NJ

Binney4

I really like the idea of a contingent of women doing a fund-raising walk or run topless. I can't imagine why that hasn't been done before now -- seems like such an obvious idea. It sure does make the message clear, which tends to get lost in all the pink glee of so many fund-raisers. So much for "save the ta-tas" -- save the women, doggone it!

Be well,
Binney

River_Rat

Actually it has been done, Santa Cruz this past August:

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/clickToGive/bcs/article/Women-go-topless-in-an-effort-to-fight-against-breast-cancer975

And here's one in London, complete with picture (it's a wonderful picture).  The runners painted their numbers on them.  The second link has a video, along with information on the run.  You don't have to be a Facebook member to access:

http://www.metro.co.uk/showbiz/105976-naked-nell-mcandrews-bare-breast-run 

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1004094657241 

ETA video link 

Binney4

Thanks, River_Rat, just makes sense (although those UK gals looked mighty cold - brrrrrr!)
Binney

cooka

Thanks River Rat, good to know, although I am a little bit pinked out like Binney and don't know that  I would want to put on the pink warpaint;)  May have to go up in elevation a bit from Phoenix to train for those temps...at least high beams won't be a problem! 

Hauntie- I think it is great that you feel confortable flat but also have the ability to choose to meet certain occasions with the prostheses if you choose. I read one woman's blog that was hysterical because she had all different size protheses (small for work, really big for Vegas) depending on how she felt like "dressing up' that day." I felt a lot of pressure to have reconstruction (as i am sure many do) but I am really glad i went with my gut and stayed flat...but either way I agree it's about personal choice, and the more of those we have the better. If people are uncomfortable with the way I look they'll just have to adjust or vamoose:)  

Lunakin

The London pic doesn't show any breast-free women! Or even uni MX!  Guess that was too realistic.  

I recall Breast Cancer Action did some ad posters picturing mastectomy scars and got a lot of flack for it. Yet pics of silicone-enhanced augmentations are seen everywhere...

Lunakin

Lena, hope you get another summer.

That "what would have happened if I had.... or hadn't......"   And the burn is we never know.

I'm uni MX, and I keep thinking it would be very freeing to be flat on both sides. But yet more surgery? Dunno yet. 

Starak

I have wondered with some of you what the legalities would be of going topless.  Just an intellectual thought process and not something I would actually contemplate doing though with the exception of my mutants, my scars are amazingly good and now feel normal and "me". 

I presume everyone has seen "The Scar Project", both the website and the TV special on (I think) the Style Network.  Includes full frontal photos right from the Home page.

http://www.thescarproject.org/

Barbara

River_Rat

Lunakin, back in 2008 when the London run pictured ran I found an article with a wider view picture that did include breast-free women.  I can't find that picture available any longer.  It was so inspiring that I printed it out at the time, but now I can't even find where I put that.  If you watch the video you do catch glimpses of some women who are breast-free.  If you put your cursor over the video you can see a rectangle in the lower right hand corner.  If you click on that rectangle you can watch the video full-screen.

River_Rat

Starak, thanks for the link to "The Scar Project."  

Erica3681

Yes, thanks Starak. A number of new images have been added to the gallery since the last time I checked the site.

BoobsinaBox

Thanks, Starak.  I hadn't seen the photos before.

geocachelinda

What I find so sad in this entire thread is the cultural fear and stereotypes that we women have come to accept.  One person wondered how they would explain it to a small child.  What about explaining the 65 year old topless man with a C cup and a scar running down the middle of his chest from open heart surgery?  I'm sure he has no qualms about going topless at the beach.  Woman are made to feel shame and cover up.  I have had a double mastectomy and I think I may try going topless this year.  First in a private location until I get more comfortable.  Then perhaps in a public area where men are allowed to be topless.  What can I be arrested for?  Public indecency?  Lewdness?  I live in NY too where women are allowed to go topless in public.

aunt_paula

I am looking forward to summer and excited about the prospect of going topless and feeling the sun on my bare chest--something I would never have considered pre-BMX. I am not happy with my body overall, but it has to do with my weight, not my flatness/scars/etc. I hope I get the chance to do it!