August 2011 chemo, anyone w/ me?!

Taylor777

Congrats Robyn on being done and on your new puppy!!!

Summergirl- That was very insensitive of your husband's friends!! They know what your going through and they know there sending the pic. to your phone?!! Wow what a bunch of jerks!! Don't get down your almost done this and you have your new grandbaby will be here soon and by next summer this will all be behind you and you'll be on the beach with your margarita in your hand and your hair blowing in the wind

Wow so many of you are almost at the end of this tunnel!!!

Jenn..I just finished A/C #4 on to Taxol next week and I don't know if I'll ever think of sex again lol..It's been since June and I have no desire too..Good for you though

You know what really makes me mad!!!! Some friends and family I havent heard from in a long time and they find out that I have this and they Fn call me!!!! If you havent called me in the last 3 yrs please don#t call me now!!!! I am so sick of all this BC shit!!! And if I see one more commercial about BC ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Taylor777

Congrats Robyn on being done and on your new puppy!!!

Summergirl- That was very insensitive of your husband's friends!! They know what your going through and they know there sending the pic. to your phone?!! Wow what a bunch of jerks!! Don't get down your almost done this and you have your new grandbaby will be here soon and by next summer this will all be behind you and you'll be on the beach with your margarita in your hand and your hair blowing in the wind

Wow so many of you are almost at the end of this tunnel!!!

Jenn..I just finished A/C #4 on to Taxol next week and I don't know if I'll ever think of sex again lol..It's been since June and I have no desire too..Good for you though

You know what really makes me mad!!!! Some friends and family I havent heard from in a long time and they find out that I have this and they Fn call me!!!! If you havent called me in the last 3 yrs please don#t call me now!!!! I am so sick of all this BC shit!!! And if I see one more commercial about BC ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Taylor777

Thanks Grimbol

vtellen

Taylor- it sounds like thrush - the white on your tongue. You need prescription stuff I believe.

JMULL

Taylor - It sounds like maybe thrush - just a guess though.  I would definitely call your doctor!

Taxol #1 went ok today.  No reaction during infustion so I was very happy about that.  The nurse said if I had an allergic reaction to the Taxol even I may have to go back to AC.  No worse words had ever been spoken!!!  I am feeling ok.  Napped most of the afternoon from the benedryl.

Hugs to everyone!

Doodlebug12

Taylor - that's definitely thrush - try gargling salt water solution as a short term relief until u get thru to onc office - if u have any benadryl or maalox - mix both of them and gargle!! Both are helpful but feel u might need something stronger... Don't let it go any further - it's not pleasant!!!



Sorry I haven't posted here in so long - read all your posts everyday but I'm so caught up in misery from this horrible rotten hellish treatment I would depress a fly. You girls are doing so well xxxx your support is amazing x michaela

46MD

Hi all. I got my 2 of 4 Taxol today. Suffered severe pain in fingertips and feet first round, so he dialed it back 20%, and if I get the same reaction, I'll move to Taxotere for last 2 infusions. Also asked about the flu shot (tho I rarely get one) and my nurse said "its recommended while doing chemo" and that the best time to get it is when your counts are good, so she suggested after my infusion, so I did. And it wasn't a live virus. Another patient heard us talking, and said she had gotten one earlier in the week, and she was fine. So far so good.

michelleo13

Taylor, I had similar issues and my ONC gave me a prescription for Magic Mouthwash which cleared it up within about 24 hours. I'd give them a call and they can probably fax or call it into your pharmacy for you. In the meantime, you can try Biotene...it's avaialbe at the drugstore without prescription.

summergirl1

Taylor Thxs for cheering me up, and yes I hope to be sitting on that beach next yr and feeling good about myself again, and Im not letting it get to me (Men) u gotta love em, and their tactless minds ( hope you get rid of that mouth issue sounds painful ,hate to say but it does sound like thrush but if you go to Dr they will give u an antifungal ,antibiotic to get rid of it, Try gargling bread soda that helps for thrush.  

Michelle13: hahaha love the Lorana Bobit bit ,

JMull thxs yes they can be so insensitive and they wonder why women get upset !!! 

Robyn: CONGRATS on getting to the end "u lucky thing" , keep us posted about how rads are going  

sitting here it 2am cant sleep, started the steroids today, and am anxious about 2mrw dont know why as its my 4th one. you would think I would be used to TX by now. 

ang good luck to anyone having TX this week , hope it all goes well for you .  

TSB1

Taylor: definitely sounds like thrush. I start swishing a mixture of baking soda with a very small amount of salt mixed with a cup of water on treatment day one and I do this 2-3 times a day for about 10 days. It really keeps the thrush away. After you get this cleared up, try this for future treatments. I swear by it. Good luck!

Theresa.

MizMarie

Hi everyone,

I'm gearing up for #4 tomorrow.  Feeling anxious about this one for some reason - the first three I actually looked forward to sitting in the chair because I could feel like I was DOING something to get rid of this beast.  Not sure why things are different today, other than I've been feeling pretty good lately, and dread starting over again....

Congrats to all who made it to the finish line already!

Vivie

Hello (resurfacing)

 4th tx really kicking my butt , and depressed as anything.Been in bed with 24hrs nausea , so bad that I can't even get some water...plus my pre - existing reflux went WAY worse..got bonked with a serious headache and been sleeping the past 48 hrs.Nothing would help except a wet rag.Couldn't keep down ANYTHING.

Ugh.Seriously thinking of quitting.I don't have the oomph to see 4 txs...

DebinUtah

Taylor--I love your posts. No matter how lousy you're feeling, you give a shout-out to everyone who needs it and remember what's going on in everyone's lives.  Very cool.

MizMarie--I know just how you feel.  I was pretty gung-ho for 1 through 3, but 4 was tough.  I have 5 next week, and I can't think about it or I literally start to have a panic attack.  I've just got to keep telling myself that #5 brings me that much closer to #6!

Okay, so I spent some time today talking with a BC survivor who's three years out.  She told me that after extensive research on her part, she decided NOT to do tamoxifin, and her GP, who is also a survivor, told her that she (the GP) had made the same decision because of all the ways the tamoxifin screws you up.  What?!   Will we ever be done with this?  Sure, I want to live, but I want a life that's worth living!  Damn! I want ME back. I want a new and improved ME; not a screwed up ME--I want to look HOT (even if it takes plastic surgery), I want muscles, I want to run marathons, I want hair down to my a$$!  I refuse to be a victim of this sh*t for the rest of my life!  Cool--I just vented myself into a better mood.  Thanks for being my audience!

Love and courage to all from HotDebinUtah

DebinUtah

Vivie--I posted before I saw your post.  For some reason, I've been thinking about you all day--maybe because I heard a news report about how awful things are in Greece right now.  God bless you and give you peace.  Hugs, Deb

Vivie

Thanks Debin..Things are really awful in Greece...and that makes me feel even worse..I'm stuck in health and financial cononudrums.hate that , and I'm battling depression as it is...

 A big hug back to you!!

YaYa5

vivie, so sorry to hear you're feeling so badly.  that depression can be brutal with everything else that's going on.  i had a really had hard time after tx #4, too.  i stayed in bed for days with depression, too, but i can promise this ... it gets better after a week or 10 days.  i hope you feel much better soon.  

Taylor777

Hi Vivie..Sorry things are so bad in Greece. I know what you mean about being depressed I have been so depressed I feel like my life is over and I'm never going to be my old self again. I have 4 more txs to go too! I have pain in my mouth and down my throat and I keep thinking that its not thrush and that its something else!! Every pain I get I think its "C", I'm driving myself crazy!! Vivie we are going to finish this and get oursellves healthy again!! This whole BC is BS!!!

I can't sleep I've been up since 4 and soon have to put a smile on my face and get my kids up and husband then when there gone can go back to being depressed!! Ativan is not working anymore need something stronger!

I know what you mean DebinUtah, I want my hair long again I want to enjoy my life again and not have to worry about this crap ever!! Were going to get there were all going to be HOT again no matter what it takes!! Don't worry about Tamox everyone is different on it who knows maybe you wont have any S/E from it. I just want to live a long time and beat this!!

Thx TSb1 i'm going to have to try that.

I'm going on tx#5 next week and I'm always anxious the day before. I don't think we'll ever get used to it.

Best wishes to everyone having treatment today!! Hope your all feeling good

vtellen

Well, hence my little quote that I added a few weeks ago. To me it is like this:

I have breast cancer. It was an aggressive, spreading tumor. I had surgery, clean margins, I have been through the whole treatment of chemo. I will do 31 shots of radiation. i will take 5 yrs of hormones. I am doing everything medically that I can to battle cancer. I will eat healthy, wholesome food, and I will keep my weight down and exercise more. I will keep my mind on the path of hope. I will give myself permission to believe that I will absolutely not have a recurrence of this cancer. I thank myself every day for being strong, even though I have been very very afraid. That is the only way I can deal with this. I refuse to let myself be broken. I refuse to spend my remaining days of my life looking over my shoulder. I will keep choosing every day : acceptance and peace.

JMULL

HotDebinUtah - thanks for the laugh this morning! Can't wait to get my long hair back, too.

Vivie - Tx#4 had me down and out in bed for 4 days.  It absolutely sucked and took a good 10 days to start feeling better.  Just in time for Tx#1 of Taxol.  I hope you start feeling better soon.  Chin up and follow VtEllen's mantra.

VtEllen - I must have missed your quote the first time you posted so thank you for reposting.  It is so true.  We ARE strong ladies.  Just because we get scared and nervous the day before treatment does not make us weak.  It makes us human.  Every day that goes by we are closer to being done being pin cushions.

And now a question...has anyone had nail issues from the AC?  After #4 AC my little toes and toe nails started to really hurt.  My MO said they may fall off.  Great - and I thought it was only Taxol that had an impact on your nails.  Has anyone else lost toenails?

Hugs and prayers to all my August Sisters!

allformy4

Wow -haven't been on in a while and everyone has been so busy!! 

VT Ellen -Amen!  It's so hard to stay positive everyday --especially when you see others going thru life complaining about the small stuff.  Don't know about anyone else, but I am not there yet to be all ra-ra for BC awareness month & early detection --I have been going for mammos since I was 35 b/c of my fam hx, and I still wound up w/stage 2, w/3 nodes involved!!  Even this last mammo didn't show tumor!! 

As far as what happens after all this?  My BS/ONC told me same thing -we will monitor you -I was told the surg and rad is what kills the actual BC, the chemo is a sweep of your whole body in case any cancer cells are floating around.  Whatever it takes, I have small kids and I told my BC to do what it takes so I can see my grandbabies!!

I just went to a look good feel better class at my onc's office --you get all sorts for free make-up and they show you how to draw on eyebrows and how to wear your wig properly and to tie scarves.  They sd false eyelashes were a no-no b/c of bacteria.  the Amer Cancer Society sponsors this, so it should be avail in most places (not sure if that includes overseas?)

I am sched to get my flu shot today w/my neulasta shot (I had chemo yest).  I have never gotten one, nor have my kids, but I figured this year better to be safe than sorry.  All but my youngest got the shot too -me and my daughter had the flu in March and I don't need that on top of all these SE's!!  And lymphedema?  I am so nervous about that b/c of the amout of nodes I had removed --Binny posted a website where you can find specialized lymphedema therapists -I think I am going to go see one as a precaution.  My friend flew w/o her sleeve and her arm swelled -again, better to be safe than sorry!

Have a great and SE free day everyone!!

michelleo13

{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}} to MisMarie, Vivie, Taylor and anyone else who needs a pick-me-up today!  We are all strong, powerful women and we will get through this even if it feels rough right now.

My only comment on the Tamoxifen front is that it's a bit of a good news/bad news story. For me, it's not an option as I'm triple negative. While I'm glad that I'll be done with all this after chemo and rads and not need to have deal with any more drugs and their side effects, I can't help but be a bit anxious that there's nothing else that can be done for me to prevent recurrence.  That's why I signed up for the Denosumab clinical trial but I don't know if I'm getting the drug or the placebo but the extra montoring will provide some peace of mind..

But, as Ellen said, we have to believe that everything we're doing wiill kick cancer's A$$ and we will prevail! We will get our lives back and we'll be stronger than ever because of this experience.

TSB1

First, let me apologize for this long post. I'm a pediatric RN working in the operating room. I have said for years that my heroes are the children and adolescents who have cancer and go through their journey with dignity and courage. I have never seen such strength before. When I was diagnosed, I told myself and my loved ones that I would only surround myself with positive thoughts and energy and lots of humor. I draw my strength from my patients over the years. They have taught me so much and I feel blessed to have had a small part in their care. I also have a wonderful role model in my mom. She is a 23 year BC survivor and 10 year colon cancer survivor. She's the best!



I honestly have not felt down or in the dumps and sometimes I question if something is wrong with that. I have been shown nothing but love and support from my husband, family, friends and coworkers. I truly feel blessed. It makes me very sad to read stories of those who don't have the same support. My wish is for everyone to have the same unwavering support and love. Every night I pray for all the women on the BCO board. I have learned so much from everyone here and I want to thank y'all for that.



I hope this post doesn't come across as boastful. That is not my intent. I have just been feeling these emotions and thoughts for six months now and I wanted to share them. I have already told my loved ones how I feel but I don't think I can ever tell them enough.



I've had six months now to think about what cancer has taught me and I would love to hear your thoughts as well. I hope that everyone will be sharing some of these things. That is, if everyone is ok with me hijacking this thread for a little while. I'll start. One thing I have learned is nothing beats the love and support of your family and friends. I will add more later.



I hope everyone has a wonderful SE free day!



Theresa

MaryjRN

Summergirl...hope your chemo is going well.  I, too, get anxious before all of the chemos. 

MizMarie...hope your treatment is going well for you, too!

Vivie...{{{hugs}}} hope you're feeling better soon.

Hot Deb...LOL, just what research did this BC survivor mention?  Just wondering.  I'm with you, I want the new/improved me.

Taylor..you may need to talk with your MO about the sleep/depression.  There are lots of medications that are available. 

vtEllen...I enjoyed reading your thought provoking post.  Oprah would call that an 'aha' moment!

JMULL..I just started having 1 toenail give me issues.  I am on week 4 of Taxol now.  The A/C did not affect them.

Allformy4...I went to a LGFG class and liked it.  I am also not 'rah-rah' about the BC awareness month.  Maybe next year.

Michelle..I agree:  We will get out lives back and be stronger than ever!

Robo...Isn't there a saying that goes something like, 'the eyes are the windows to the soul'? She's your BFF and you can vent away to her and us (of course). 

Grimbol

I went to a LGFG class last week after I read how you all liked them so much.  Unfortunately I didn't have such a good time.  I did get the free makeup, but it was a very hodge podge of items.  All they did was make up, there were no wigs or head covers at all which was very diappointing, it was what I'd really gone for.  I didn't feel it was cancer related at all, just a makeup advice time, not really related to cancer skin care.  Plus it was run in the evening, and by 8:30 I really don't want to be playing with makeup, my eyes and the rest of me is tired.  So, al in all I wasn't impressed, sorry.  Hopefully the ones run in other areas are better.

michelleo13

Theresa, what a great idea!  Here's what cancer has taught me:

• Life is unpredictable! Cherish every moment with family and friends.
• I am a lot stronger than I ever thought I was. If you had asked me six months ago how I would have dealt with a cancer diagnosis, I would have predicted that I would fall apart. That hasn't happened and I know this new-found strength will help me cope with any challenges life presents me in the future.
• Faith is a very strong stabilizer and healer. It has helped me tremendously through this time.
• Support often comes from unexpected places, like the wonderful ladies on this thread, and others who step forward and help out before you need to ask for help!
• Sometimes people we expect to be there for us aren't or can't be, and we just need to let that go!

{{{{{Hugs to everyone}}}}}. You ladies are the best!

Robyn6463

Wow, you guys are a very insightful bunch today! Had my radiation mapping, CT, etc., today. Tattoos don't look bad at all. They did sting a bit, but I'm 6 days PFC, so probably a bit sensitive. CT was behind so I had lunch and chatted with my SIL who works at the hospital. She's going to whip her big brother (hubby) into shape! She was so supportive, empathetic...but she knows him as well as I do, so not surprised.

Really tired, weak more than anything. Not really feeling up to walk, but the sun is shining, so I think I'm going to try. 

Taylor777

Love that Ellen!!! I think I'm going to print that out!!

JMULL I just had my last 4th tx of A/C and I have 2 fingers that are starting to turn black and I have 1 other finger that is starting to hurt so that should be turning soon..When I feel it hurting I soak them in ice..I know I thought it happened when you are on taxol!!

Theresa this is what cancer has taught me

I was always so busy working, going to school, going to the gym etc...Being dx with BC my life has been put on hold and I've been doing alot of thinking. I was so busy before that I didnt spend alot of time with my kids and my parents and my sister etc..I am very lucky to have so much support from family and friends and how alot of them have gone above and beyond ..I get alot of I love yous now ..I dont sweat the small stuff anymore and my husband is an amazing man!! I have received so much love from everyone that its pretty sad that it took me to be dx for that to happen. I love life and you have to cherish your life and your loved ones bc you never know whats around the corner...

Thats great Theresa that you have been positive this whole time..I'm just scared I'm so scared for my kids...I want to see them grow up and have kids..But I know its not good for me to focus on the negative bc there are alot of people who beat this and live long lives.

Meeting you ladies has helped me with this journey

jbagley

Vivid, I hope everything is ok. Sending healing energy to you in greece.



Theresa, I am with you. My husband, family and really close friends have been so supportive of me. I've had more than 10 ppl ask if I need them to watch the kids or drive me to treatments etc. Everyone has been helpful. The only person that has been negative is my brother. He doesn't understand the cancer or. Just scared.



To everyone that is having bouts of depression and being down. When I start crying or blubbering about my BC, he says. "This to shall pass" he says this at least 3 times a day and says the bald thing is only temporary, your hair will grow back!



The things that I have learned from this dx of BC is:

1. I am a lot stronger than I thought I was.

2. I have a lot more friends then I thought I had. And they are very supportive.

3. I am going to be able to relate to more of my patients then before. If I open up my own practice, I am going to offer a support group.

4. I have strong healing reiki energy and nothing is going to stop me. I am going to live life to the fullest.

5. One step at a time, one day at a time.



Hugs to everyonjennifee



Hope everyone has minimal side effects

TSB1

Michelleo and Taylor: thanks for sharing. Those are all wonderful lessons. Taylor, I don't have children and I feel for all of you that do. I can't imagine what you are going through. When I got home from my first (and only) BC support group I told my husband how shocked I was at the number of young women who had young children. It was heartbreaking to see because that truly takes it to another level. I'm not sure how long my positive attitude would be able to stick around if I were in your shoes. Hugs to all of you.

Theresa

michelleo13

Robyn, glad your appt went well today. Hope your SIL can whip your DH into shape!! Hey, can you send some sunshine this way? It has been a rainy, dreary week in Southern Ontario. Looks like it may clear up for the weekend which is good.

Just found out today that my ONC has left early for her maternity leave. She has twins due in December. So, my next appointment is with the Chief of Oncology at the Cancer Centre. Should be interesting....I'll have to make sure I get all my questions answered by this very knowledgeable lady while I have her attention!

Theresa, having young kids at a time like this can be a good thing and a bad thing. It's hard not to worry about them and how all this crap affects them and you worry for their future. On the other hand, they do have a way of forcing you to keep life normal and carry on with day-to-day activities.