August 2011 chemo, anyone w/ me?!

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  • IslandGirl50
    IslandGirl50 Member Posts: 50
    edited September 2011

    It sounds like all of us have problems going on.  It gets so damn old sometimes that I just want to scream out bad words and wallow in self pity.  This afternoon is one of those times.  I try to keep it together for my husband but I sometimes can't. 

    I had to go to the plastic surgeon to get my first fill up in the tissue expanders.  I was told it wouldn't hurt.  Wrong.  It hurt.  When he pulled the needle out it bleed like you wouldn't believe.  The nurse and Dr said they have never seen anyone bleed like that before.  Real comforting. 

      Hubby buzzed my head 9 days ago and about 4 days ago it broke out in huge pimple like bumps.  Looks yucky and hurts.  Anybody else have this going on?

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  • dianamaps
    dianamaps Member Posts: 50
    edited September 2011

    Grimbol and others:  Yes, feeling particularly mood and sad today.  I'm 5 days out from AC #3 and these days (4-8) seem to be the worst ones for me.  I thought I was doing okay earlier today, SE-wise, but somehow it all bowled me over this afternoon and I ended up in bed, nauseous and crying.  In spite of plenty of time for "acceptance" of this bc situation, I can still convince myself that I'll wake up from this nightmare at some point.  

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  • Grimbol
    Grimbol Member Posts: 326
    edited September 2011

    Vivie - I too was pretty unemotional about it all, until this week!!  I think the fact that my son, dil and 2 grandkids leave on Tuesday for a year is just pushing me over the limit and all I want to do is cry, kick a few dogs, say some pretty nasty words etc. etc.  I'm keeping it to crying and bad words so far!! But, I surprised myself, I thought I was doing ok!

    I'm trying the listening to music bit now to see if that will help! Actually today is a bit better than yesterday, but stay away from my car on the road..........

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  • IslandGirl50
    IslandGirl50 Member Posts: 50
    edited September 2011

    dianamaps- that is how I am feeling today too.

    Tomorrow will be better.

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  • summergirl1
    summergirl1 Member Posts: 182
    edited September 2011

    Had a lovely walk this evening and feel a little more like myself but then to combat the quilty feeling I have been having about my DH and his Mom doing everything for me the last few days I decided to make them a nice  dinner tonight , all went well until I realised that possibly from taking the food out of the oven the front of my wig looks frizzy almost singed, (and I did not stick my head in the oven although there have been days I thought about it  LOL) I was so mad I WILL be calling them tommorrow after paying 400.00 euro for it they better replace it , I  guess now I know for the furture if I decide to cook dinner I will have to do it bald this really put a damper on an otherwise good day ! 

    Welcome CCjj !!  I do work through my treatments although I am lucky to have a very understanding boss , I find if I have TX thursday I have the weekend to recover and possibly mon too, I do get a little bone pain through the first week but I think working through it and exercising helps me plus a few painpills, Good luck and you will be fine and everyone here is great to keep up our spirits. 

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  • IslandGirl50
    IslandGirl50 Member Posts: 50
    edited September 2011

    Summergril - Sorry about the wig!  The lady I bought mine from warned me about that and about opening the lid on a boiling pot.  We use a wood stove in our basement in the winter and I am going to have to be very careful not to get too close with it on.  Another thing to think about!!

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  • summergirl1
    summergirl1 Member Posts: 182
    edited September 2011

    Thxs Islandgirl , she did say to be careful around the oven but I didnt think I would have to take it off to simply remove the food, I wasnt even standing that close to the oven, just one more thing we have to watch out for now, I also find if I even walk to the shop and its a little windy I have to take it off and completly brush it again and put some of the conditioning oil on it or it is a matt of knots , I know its not real hair but I  didnt realise it would be this hard to maintain it , OHH I miss my hair already !!!!

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  • Beebop
    Beebop Member Posts: 206
    edited September 2011

    Hi girls, I've posted once or twice, but am really bad with follow through! I have been reading today because I just finished 12 weeks of Taxol and will be starting A/C next week and a little nervous about the s/es.

    Summergirl- that's too bad about the wig. The gal I got mine from told me never to wear it in the kitchen. I hope you can get yours replaced.

    If anyone has suggestions for me for getting through the A/C that would be awesome! Glad you are here even if I don't post much!

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  • vtellen
    vtellen Member Posts: 345
    edited September 2011

    Whoa- a LOT of activity on here today!

    DebinUtah- I have wondered off and on about depression setting in. I feel as though my emotions are right near the surface and sometimes it doesn't take much to bring a tear to my eye. Other times, I manage something that resembles acceptance. I am doing the best that I can to get my body healthy again. ( although, I refuse to stop eating some sugar!)

    Summergirl- sorry about your wig, I would never have thought that it would melt like that! But, of course I'm not wearing one so..... I have no clue! I actually go around w/out anything on my head at all when I am home. I can't help it, I get soooo warm if I wear something !

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  • Madismommy719
    Madismommy719 Member Posts: 781
    edited September 2011

    Hi ladies....ive been MIA lately...sorry!!!! I have been trying to keep up reading but was so "down in the dumps" I didn't want to spread my misery....so I've been quietly dealing....



    HUGS to all you wonderful ladies.... We are all so strong!!!! It amazes me somedays....how wonderful we all are!!!



    I finally took control of my pending hair loss today and it's 3/4" long now....still not falling out yet at all yet but I am 2 weeks post 1st tx. I think the hair was a major issue for me so hopefully I'm overcoming it.....



    Hope everyone facing the chair this week does wonderful and that everyone's handling the s/e's ok. I have seen a lot of you dealing with the big C and D.... :( my biggest s/e was my headaches and that damn taste change....UGH!!! the taste change is horrid....mine only lasted like 4 days this time, long enough though.



    I'm sorry about your wig Summergirl....I picked up my good one today and was warned to stay far away from the oven.... Kind of puts a damper on entertaining with it on???



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  • sweeney
    sweeney Member Posts: 353
    edited September 2011

    Hi ladies,



    It's Sweeney here. Still thinking of you guys and hoping things are moving along well for each of you.:) Remember just focus on NEXT September, you'll feel so much different than you do now. Over in the 2010 August Chemo group we're all now trying to outdo each other with who has the wackiest hair re-growth and who has almost recovered most of their memory from chemo brain! We're all behind you if you ever need a pep talk. It's hard to remember this sometimes but you're never going through this alone.:)



    Big hugs,

    Sweeney

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  • vtellen
    vtellen Member Posts: 345
    edited September 2011

    Thanks, Sweeney! I think that a lot of us are feeling bogged down here in the middle of chemo. I have 2 more T/Cs to go, then 6 weeks of radiation. It gets to feel very overwhelming if I let myself look too far ahead.

    Chrys- yea, I wanted to tell you that my SEs were different this time. Well, at least some of them were. I didn't have the heartburn this time, but I did last time. I was ok w/ the C on the first dose, but this last dose, I thought it was going to do me in! You haven't mentioned any neuropathy? I had numbness in my hands and lips last time. This time, my lips and cheeks. Have you had any issues w/ that?

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  • jbagley
    jbagley Member Posts: 102
    edited September 2011

    Hello all,



    Welcome to the new girls. Thanks sweeney for coming and giving us something to think aboutl. It is all worth it in the end.



    I definitely believe the A/C tx are cummulative. I had my #4 tx 8 days ago and just starting to feel better. Tires with a lot of activity but rest often. My work wont let me come back until my treatments are done so they will be payiing me long term disability starting sept 21. Not the way I want to make a paycheck but what can you do?



    I hate that awful taste in your mouth too, then when the taste buds start to wake up, I have at least 5in that hurt and are enlarged. Awful.





    Madismommy, don't hold it in, it will make you so sick. We are here to listen and guide each other. If you need to vent, vent. We are not going to say anything to you because you need to get something out in the open. We are here for each other.



    My next tx is a new round, taxol, hopefully. Monday next week. Hoping for better se!



    Hugs

    jennifer

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  • Kasi
    Kasi Member Posts: 216
    edited September 2011

    I HATE WEARING A WIG!

    That is all. Laughing

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  • Madismommy719
    Madismommy719 Member Posts: 781
    edited September 2011

    Lol...I'm sitting here with one of mine on also....and I agree 100%!!!!! I wonder if it gets easier? My days at work are going to be even longer......



    HUGS to you Kasi!!



    Jbagley...why won't your work let you come back??? Are they just thinking of your best interest? It's nice that you can focus on you though!!! :) The bad taste is my worst s/e so far to deal with....we have to give SO much of ourselves....why must everything we eat and drink taste crappy too? :(

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  • Grimbol
    Grimbol Member Posts: 326
    edited September 2011

    ha-ha Kasi, I had decided not to do wigs, I read so many people get them and either hate them or dont wear them as they are hot and itchy etc.  Well, of course, nothing prepares you for losing your hair and how that will look and feel.  I like hats and do wear them often but the thought that now I am going to be in a hat EVERY day for months is no fun.  So yesterday I went to a wig shop, OMG, no I can't do wigs, they looked so weird and felt so weird. I have to get used to being bald, nothing else for it!

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  • jbagley
    jbagley Member Posts: 102
    edited September 2011

    I sat down with my boss, and 2 other people, ceo and the medical doc at my office. I wanted to go back like part time on the week that I didn't have chemo, but they said no. I am a nurse practitioner in a very busy office. I myself have about 1200 patients. Their thought was who would take care of the paperwork when I was on my chemo week.......but everyone is already doing that. My patients are upset that I am out. I have been in contact with some of them through email and facebook (the ones I trust anyway) I have seen some at walmart etc. Once I tell them what is going on, they are flabergasted. Work hasn't said anything to them.



    But then again, if I was working I would be coming in contact with so many bugs, germs, bacteria, viruses, especiallyyy with flu season coming up. It prob is best that I stay home. I am paranoid about getting sicker, this cold threw me for a loop.



    Hope everyone having tx today, has min se. Love to all

    hugs, big hugs

    jennifer

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  • Madismommy719
    Madismommy719 Member Posts: 781
    edited September 2011

    I agree, with all the exposure to germs and illness definitely better for your health right now to not work!!! I bet it's hard on you to not be there too, just as much as your patients miss you I'm sure you're missing them. Hugs to you.... You'll be back and better than ever in no time!!!!! We all will! :)

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  • Kasi
    Kasi Member Posts: 216
    edited September 2011

    Grimbol & Madismommy - OMG, the wig is irritating. Mine's not hot and itchy, it's just a pain in my ass. I don't think I look like me. I take it off as soon as I get home, but I just don't have the guts to go to work all day without it. I said at the beginning that there was no way I was going to walk around with short hair when it starts growing back, but I SO am. I can't wait for the day that I don't have to wear this thing anymore!! Never thought I would sport a pixie cut but it's gotta be better than this rug...LOL.

    Jennifer - I know it must totally suck not to be at work and taking care of your patients. But work has gotta be a total germ-fest, definitely best not to be there right now.

    Hugs and love to all of you!!! <3<3 

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  • Kasi
    Kasi Member Posts: 216
    edited September 2011

    Hi Sweeney - Thank you so much for the encouragement!! It helps knowing that there is a light at the end of this chemo tunnel! <3

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  • michelleo13
    michelleo13 Member Posts: 342
    edited September 2011

    Madismommy, good to hear from you. Don't hold back! We're all here for each other!

    Kasi, I am so with you on hating the wig! Mine still gives me a headache and feels so tight on my head. I wear scarves 90% of the time. I decided yesterday to try my short red wig to see if it would feel a bit better. It didn't. Frown  My hair had better grow back before I have to go back to work!

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  • Robyn6463
    Robyn6463 Member Posts: 167
    edited September 2011

    I hate my wig too! It's not ugly, it's short and red, but it's not me! It's not comfortable and I never feel like I've got it exactly where it's supposed to be on my head! Most of the time, I've got this grey cap I got from Hats with Heart. It's got a pink headband that matches it if I want to dress it up! I'd rather be home wearing my cap than anything! I can't wait to have hair again! 

    Tired today, a little achy, but overall not too bad. Working a bit. 

    Madismommy - complain all you want! That's why we're here! Hope everyone feels well! Or at least better!  

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  • summergirl1
    summergirl1 Member Posts: 182
    edited September 2011

     KASI  I so feel your pain. ( I HATE MY WIG TOO,) although everyone says it looks so much like my own hair, I still feel weird with it on. I feel like everyone is looking at me, its not uncomfortable but just isnt MY hair , and I also agree I think I will have to get used to having a short hair style for a while as I already cant wait for a few spikes to sprout out. haha , I am just not a hat or scarf person so I guess Im gonna have to put up with it, I do have a hat hair thing its like half a wig and u wear a baseball hat over it so it still looks like ur hair is long, its a lot more comfortable than a wig I wear it if Im not going out as I dont like walking around bald  my son always has his friends coming in and out of the house , plus its cold over here . 

    Had a much better day today TG, went to work feel back to normal again, and have my energy back hopefully will be fine until next TX Sept 29th. :)

    Sweeney: Thxs for the encouragement and well done to you !!!!

    Best of luck to anyone having TX this week,  

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  • Madismommy719
    Madismommy719 Member Posts: 781
    edited September 2011

    Kasi....I came home from work today for lunch so I could air out my head..... :) I didn't think I was going to be the scarf or "naked" type but man was my head screaming "ITCH ME DAMMIT" all morning..... I feel like I have a carpet football helmet on my head....

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  • Vivie
    Vivie Member Posts: 52
    edited September 2011

    Madis...I cracked up with the latest post!!

     I'm wearing a baseball hat ( hot pink ) and it makes my head SO HOT that when I was out with it , I wanted to stop wearing it and air out my head...So I just did and attracted some looks from pedestrians...( Driving my motorbike ).LOL.It's a small place where I live , and I'm recognizable anyway bc I'm a mirror image of my father..soooooooo...I pretty much expect my dad to be stopped more often..LOL.

     After seeing your posts , I'm not going to waste my precious money on a wig.I do have some from my family , but I'll spend them on something else! :) maybe an iPad or a Kindle. Still , I can imagine you all trying to not itch -remove - stuff..and after reading the no oven rule..TOO BAD.I'm cooking my meals mainly in an oven , and help my mother and father do some bbq's , soooo...Nah!

     Hope everyone feels better - me , I'm feeling pretty good today , back in good spirits , and Grimbol , I hear ya...I probably will break down after the weddings...We'll see..leaving tomorrow and I haven't packed a single thing!!! 

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  • Madismommy719
    Madismommy719 Member Posts: 781
    edited September 2011

    Vivie.... buy an i pad....you can put a kindle app on there for free and works just like one!!!  two for ONE!  :) 

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  • Madismommy719
    Madismommy719 Member Posts: 781
    edited September 2011

    OK Taylor (and all my Aug. girls)....there's HOPE for me getting through the hair loss....and so will you!!!  Here i am, post buzz cut....my bravery stopped at approximately 7" yesterday.... and that's my #1 cheerleader in the pic with me....

    Photobucket

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  • Vivie
    Vivie Member Posts: 52
    edited September 2011

    Madis..I wish I could!! My family think that it's not neccessary , and is more neccessary to wear a wig! Haven't managed to persuade them , meanwhile some of my friends are divided on the issue..LOL.If I'm successful I'll tell ya , but I'm ordering a Kindle to treat myself for all this sh*t I'm undergoing.we all need something to make us feel better!!

      I don't know how I'll deal with it yet..as I don't have a husband or a significant other..I had sorta of a bf that when heard the word 'lump' run for the hills screaming...LOL.Good riddance , but I don't feel reassured as my own image has changed with the mx and reconstruction..Lately I wish more and more that my engagment hadn't broken ( in 2008 , crazy just to thinking about it! ).I think I need some acceptance from someone that will be at my side no matter what.

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  • Vivie
    Vivie Member Posts: 52
    edited September 2011

    Madis , you're BEAUTIFUL.and your daughter is a gorgeous girl too!!! You'll have to fight off the prospective bf's pretty soon!! Give her a BIG hug & kiss from me.

     My own source of strength is my nephew.He adores me and loves my domed head! 

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  • Taylor777
    Taylor777 Member Posts: 141
    edited September 2011

    Jenn you look gorgeous!!!! You just past the worst hurdle and you did it!!! I am so proud of you!!!! Whoo hoo!!!! Your daughter is gorgeous too Smile

    ccjj- I just had my 2nd tx of A/C and so far its been ok just really tired and a bit achy.Just remember to take something for constipation cause that was brutal!!!

    I've been feeling really depressed too and I just seem to be crying all the time..

    Kasi good luck tomorrow and to everyone else having tx Smile

    Hope everyone is doing well

    Tanya xoxo

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