Mastectomy and friends

agada

Has anyone had this happen to them?  My friends want to see what a mastectomy looks like and keep asking me to show them.  I think they are afraid of what they will see in case they have breast cancer and need one as well.  My coworker just found out her DCIS is now invasive (IDC now) and will need a mastectomy.  She is asking me to show her because she is freaked out at this point over the surger and the scars she will have.  I don't mind showing her, but does anyone feel strange in showing your scars to anyone?

Thank - you

Agada

chrissyb

Hi Agada I had no chance to feel strange about my mastectomy scar as my seven year old GS was facinated by the fact I had to have my boob chopped off....(his words)......and the first thing he asked me was to see where it happened so I showed him.  To me it is an asexual chest as there is absolutely nothing there except a white line and a hollow where the BS took the muscle.  I have no problem showing anyone who asks.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

Daydreamernh

I have no problem showing anyone either. I remember searching for photos in to the wee hours before my surgery. I think some of the reason I do has to do with all the comments about  fabulous looking movie stars who had cancer and are doing fine and look great.  They don't see what the cancer really does to the body and our Psyche. I especially want to help any one in whatever they need to get thru their diagnosis. I am sorry your co worker has to join this club too.

agada

Ok, so its show and tell time for me

Thank - you,

agada

Leah_S

Agada, it's all what makes you feel comfortable. If I had a friend who was about to undergo a mast then, yes, I would show her if it would help ease her fears. But aside from that? Not me. If I had abdominal surgery I wouldn't, so is this so different? I don't see where someone's curiosity obligates me. (Different with grandchildren etc.)

Leah

cinnamonsmiles

No one I know is interested in my chest except my partner. I MAY show a very close friend, but other than that, I see  no reason to show anyone. I do believe there is a website with very tastefully taken pics of women with mastectomies no reconstruction that someone posted a link to on here. Personally, I would direct them towards that. But that's me, if you feel comfortable doing it, then do it. Your scars may be fine, but everyone is different, hers may not turn out like yours. Good luck with show and tell.

SharonMH

Hi,   Well I think everyone has seen my chest west of the Mississippi anyway, So one more would not matter. But seriously if it would help a friend facing BC I would be fine with it. SharonH

keno41

Haha I've lifted my shirt a million times at the doctors. However, I do still feel very uncomfortable showing others, even my husband of 30 years. I know that sounds wierd but I still feel sad about it and almost can;t even look myself!

SharonMH

Hi keno41, We have been married 40 years.  I also still get sad about it. My husband has been wonderful about everything. Says it does not bother him at all. He is just  glad I am healthy and enjoying life. I think most husbands feel the same. SharonH

keno41

I know Sharon, my husband has been unbelieveable about this whole thing. He was the one to actually take off my bandages and made me feel like everything was okay. He says it doesn't matter, as long as I am okay. It's more me. It's been 2 years this month and I still feel very sad about it and don't want anyone to see me.  I feel bad for him because I have not been the same since diagnosis.  I guess I should see someone, because there are still days that are tough when I think of what I look like.There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what I look like.And I know that I am lucky to have a husband who says he doesn't care...haha he says he is an ass man!!

Radmonkey

I just had bilateral mastectomies.  I was so grateful to all those brave women who blogged about it and showed pictures.  I may show my scars to women who are about to have surgery, like at a young survivor meeting.  I may show my best friend, but to friends who are just "curious"... google it.

Jen42

I took photos of my breasts..before and after...I plan to show those photos to anyone at my support group who asks to see what a BMX looks like. And if a newly diagnosed woman wants to see "for real" I will show her. I wish someone had done that for me.

And I agree with radmonkey -- anyone else who is just curious, they can google it.

coraleliz

If it was to help someone having or contemplating surgery I would. At the gym, I change my top in the bathroom stall. Perhaps someday I'll get over it.

agada

Well, I did show my friend the mastectomy.  She did not get upset over it and was pleased that my foobs looked as good as they did.  She did not mind the scars either.  It was a big sigh of relief for her, but I will not just flash just anyone.  Now she said she is ready for her surgery and is no longer afraid of what she will look like.

Agada

Leah_S

Agada, it was a very kind, generous act.

All the best.

Leah

DeeLJ

I can share a slightly different perspective, sort of.

I am having my bmx with TEs in a few days. My best friend, who did NOT have breast cancer  DID have implants placed for cosmetic reasons.. She showed me her scars, and it helped because it gives me hope that the scars I will have will fade too.

alexandria58

One of my more amusing moments when I was trying to decide about the BMX was when a woman who'd I'd just met dragged me into a bathroom to rip up her shirt and show me her reconstructed breasts.  I have to say, even though I didn't go with reconstruction, that was a great moment.

 I've actually had a weird thought since I've lost my breasts.  Men don't wear shirts on the beach.  Women do - to cover their breasts.  I no longer have any breasts.  Why should I have to wear a shirt?

hrf

I don't like to look myself. Even for a close friend, I would direct her to find pics on the Internet. Maybe if I had reconstruction I would show but not the way I look now