Abuse of "report this post" ?

AnnNYC

I'm trying to move this conversation here, so it doesn't clutter up someone's thread in the Stage IV Forum.

To whoever is reporting posts in Konakat's current "Bizarro World" thread -- I assume your concern is that her privacy is being violated.  However, Konakat had in fact explicitly designated the person whose posts were "reported" to be her messenger to the Board "in case anything goes wonky" (Konakat's very words).

I would ask that in a sensitive situation such as this, when someone is very ill, that rather than click "report this post" you might instead PM a Moderator about your concerns, and the Moderator could look into the matter -- they would have quickly learned in this case that no violation of privacy had taken place.

Anonymous clicking of "report this post" at a time when all are very concerned about a friend, and simply trying to support her, will engender bad feelings that are troubling and unnecessary.

Thanks,

Ann

rosemary-b

You are so right Ann. The person whose posts were deleted was doing what konakat wanted and to treat konakat's wishes when she is faces a dificult time seems insensitive to me. That is my opinion and obviously somebody disagrees. I am disappointed that the moderators did not restore these posts but perhaps they were unaware of what konakat wants or there are rules we are not aware of..

This brings questions to my mind. Are we allowed to designate someone to keep our friends at BCO informed when we are unable to post? If so does it have to be a family memeber? I hope the moderators can clarify this for me.

AnnNYC

Actually, her posts were not deleted -- not enough "reports" -- but she was notified of the reports, so she edited her posts herself.

I would think a person would be allowed to designate whomever they want to relay their information.  I know in the past friends have reported the content of phone calls, or emails, saying "So-and-So" asked me to let you all know ".........".

Some people don't have family members.  Some are closer to friends than to family members.  Some don't want to burden their family members with this responsibility, and designate a friend instead.  Some have "family members" that are not legally recognized as family members!  (i.e., significant others with whom they haven't "tied the knot" due to whatever circumstances...)

rosemary-b

Thanks for the clarification Ann.

otter

Well, the Mods do know the username of the person who is reporting those posts on KK's condition, so they should be able to solve the riddle.  This has been going on for a few days and it makes me very sad, because it is hurtful to the person who was posting on KK's behalf and with her permission.  Maybe now that the weekend is over, the Mods can contact the "reporter" and find out what's going on.  Maybe there is more going on than we realize?  (I have no idea what that might be.)

I think access to the BCO Boards is a little less formal than most things in the outside world -- opening our personal snail mail, for example.  Nobody needs power-of-attorney to post here on someone else's behalf.  We're not supposed to share our login information, but if we do share it so someone can post in our name (which has been done in the past), I doubt anyone will be penalized and I hope they would not be reported (although you never know these days).  I remember spouses of BCO members loggin in and posting on behalf of the BCO members we all knew.  I also recall sisters of BCO members registering and creating usernames that were similar to the BCO name we knew, so they could post on the person's behalf when she could not.

AFAIK, the only people who could post here for me are my BCO "chemo sisters" plus a handful of other BCO sisters to whom I've spilled the beans about my real identity.  My dear hubby knows my BCO screen name and avatar but would not know how to login, and probably would not register and create a screen name of his own.

Awhile back, one of my "chemo sisters" was doing badly, and we all were desperate to keep in touch with her and let her know we were thinking of her.  Fortunately, she had told her family and friends all about us; so when one member of our group called her house and her husband answered the phone, he knew who the caller was and trusted her motives.  That was how we stayed informed about her condition -- one or two people in our chemo group became the unofficial contacts.  They called the house occasionally (but not annoyingly often), and they gave their phone numbers and email to the family so the family could get in touch with us.  The communication went both ways.  We did not post updates on the BCO Boards, but only because our BCO sister was not well-known here and most of us had drifted away from the Boards by then.  We had developed other ways to socialize on line.

I do hope this scuffle about KK gets resolved quickly.  I miss her, and my heart is aching.

otter

Bren-2007

Otter, Ann and Rosemary .. I hope this gets straightened out too.  I miss Elizabeth so much and hope she is okay.  Sharon is her "go to person" on this board.

Should I become sick again, my sis will be my go to person on this board.  I will show her how to log on and where to post to my friends.  It's good to have someone posting when we are sick so our dear friends don't worry about us.  So many of us us have known each other for many, many years and even met in person.  We talk daily to each other and notice when someone is MIA. 

I just hope KK is okay and getting much needed rest.  I hope she either posts to us or calls Sharon with an update.  Why posts were suspect in KK's thread is beyond comprehension.

Bren

Bren-2007

Elizabeth is gone now ... and I am heartbroken.

Bren

rosemary-b

So am I Bren. She will be sorely missed.

AnnNYC

Me too, Bren.  Hugs to all.