Week of anxiety

gogo_xago

I have so much to tell you but the language is a problem. I'll try but forgive for my mistakes.

This week is my mom 6 months tests. Since last week I'm thinking on it and my stress is getting bigger and bigger. I can't  enjoy anything, I can't eat, I don't sleep well etc. Is it normal? Remember: it's not me who have bc… but feel like it is. 

I don't want to discuss my fears with anybody. I don't have brothers or sisters and I don't have my father too. So I feel alone.

In these boards I found all you and you are the only ones that you can understand me.

Everyday I read your posts and pray you all of you. In your posts usually I can see my thoughts and my fears. 

How do you manage your stress before the tests? How long before, you have anxiety?

hugs to all

diana50

the unknown is what causes the anxiety.  we never know what a test will find...and we don't always know if the test will even find it*  so, yes, it is hard to cope at times.,

what has helped me is...i practice to not get ahead of myself without facts.  i don't allow myself to get into the "what if zone" until i know something concrete. (for sure)  i also figure...i can and will deal with whatever comes my way....but not going to stress until i have FACTS/.   i have been practicing this for 9 years...since my diagnosis...and by now i am pretty good at it.  earlier ...right after treatment..i was a wreck until i learned how to not get ahead of myself.

this is a process...it takes time...and experience....just know strength is there....always there...even on a bad day.

hugs

diana

AmyIsStrong

The tests are hard.  We all agree.  There is really nothing to do except stay busy and try not to worry.  When I went to the cancer psychologist, she said that it is usually about 2 weeks before the test that you start to worry and then worry more and more until the results come. She said that even after the results come back normal, it takes a little while to settle down again.

I am glad you have found this safe place where everyone really does understand.  Sometimes sharing your fear with others helps a little bit.

jennyboog

I hate the waiting game we all play in this game.  At times this is as hard on the family as it is the patient so your anxiety is normal and you being an only child only makes it worse.  I try to stay busy just to take my mind off things or else I get really down.  I clean, do yard work, do crafts or go shopping just to have things to do and keep my mind busy.  It is a rollercoaster ride of emotion one day you feel strong the next one you have a "pity party".  You did very well with your english!  Hugs and prayers going your way & let us know how things go.

AnneWisc

I am remarkably free of anxiety about my own cancer.  My view is, follow the recommendations and take care of general health, but beyond that, don't worry.  Worry is pointless, it doesn't make the outcomes better, but it does make a nervous wreck out of you.

I agree with Diana50 that this is something you can learn to do and get better at.  Try to channel the energy into things that will help your mother, such as housework, asking her what she would like from you, and being cheerful even if you have to force it a bit. 

If you can't enjoy things, can't eat, and can't sleep, you might already have a clinical problem that will only get better with professional help.  Since you don't want to discuss your fears, perhaps medication such as antidepressants or anxiety drugs will help you get through a bad spell.  Give yourself a week or two and if it isn't getting better, see a doctor about this.

Good luck, for you and your mother.  

karen1956

Waiting is always hard....wishing your mom only good news with her test results.....try to find ways to distract yourself to you can get through the waiting....

gogo_xago

thanks for yr replies. The relief I get in this forum is remarkable. Today I "breathe" for the first time. CT scan of liver is clean. Thanks GOD! Now we are waiting for CT scan of lungs, mammography, blood tests and vaginal ultrasound. 

I feel a little better today... I feel your support. I wish my mother could have access in this forum. Sometimes I tell your stories/thoughts and fears. I think she likes it.  Thanks you all... I'll be in touch. hugs

Gogo 

pupfoster1

Hi Gogo,

Yes the testing and waiting is one of the hardest parts.  I just saw your most recent post.  GOOD NEWS on the liver!  And hopefully the rest will come back normal as well.  Once you get a better idea of what you all are dealing with you will feel more of a sense of control and hopefully that will help ease some of your anxiety.

(((HUGS))) to you AND your Mom,

Sharon

P.S.  What part of Greece are you from?  We have friends from Lesvos Island..............

jennyboog

Congrats on the good news!

gogo_xago

Sharon we live in Athens! Lesvos is a wonderful island. Come around sometime!!!

jennyboog

Checking in on you, I hope the anxiety has passed and things are ok.

gogo_xago

just an update: liver scan,mammography, vaginal ultrasound all clear!!! Blood tests all are OK except of deficiency of B12. Do you know anything about this? 

We are waiting today for the last result of CT scan of lungs. Hope it will OK. This week has no end...

bak94

Oh, I am so glad for your mom! That is great news. Now she can move on to treatment phase.

jennyboog

So happy for you and your mom, hopefully you can put your mind at rest for a while. 

gogo_xago

thanks again for your support. You are all in my prayers and in my thoughts. hugs!!!