So sick of this.

kane744

Geez, I remember BEGGING them to let me keep my cancer boob.  Had had a hysterectomy and I figured if I lost my boobs, too, what would be left to make me a woman.  (Not that I haven't seen my share of man boobs,)  Well, I was able to keep it but a lot had to be cut away.  So I'm left with a sorry looking, scarred up, saggy thingie whose nipple points toward the back of me, on the right; while the left one hangs quite obviously lower and larger with the nipple straight ahead.  Since I had a port for chemo, there's a huge brilliant red scar on it so as not to make the (former) cancer boob feel too bad.  When I was able to still wear a bra (before LE), I could make 'em look fairly even.  Now, though, it's a pitiful state.  But you know what? I wear my tank tops braless and if it bothers anyone, that's their problem.  Now where did I hide that fudge.  Good night, pals.     

Suzybelle

Kane,  YES, I hate that so much when people say that to me.  It's wierd, because my pals who have/have had cancer can say what they want and I don't think a thing about it...but someone who hasn't gone through this...it just ticks me off.  I snorted so hard when I read your 'where did I hide that fudge' comment....you are a woman after my own heart.

(((Tina)))).  I can so relate to what you wrote...I read it and you were describing me.  It's the end of my sexy, carefree youth.  Nevermind that I was 40!!!!!  I know I will never feel that sexy or carefree or 'alive' again.  I don't even know if that makes sense...but yeah, this is my second summer with le and I do seriously grieve for how things used to be.

dogeyed

Binney, Thankyou for the info, I have read about the situation and am hoping I will not have you all's trouble with lymphedema.  I hope my joining in with the fun was not offensive, I could not tell but am paranoid with the Taxol I'm doing now, it makes me so nervous.  My father had breast cancer and he showed me his scar, I was relieved in time it fades, hence the idea about cut-out swimsuits.  If that was wrong, I want to be careful and apologize to anyone I may have offended.  But I'm hoping I did not and I'm just imagining things.  Then someone else posted how they hate it when someone says at least you're alive, and I did not say anything remotely close to that, but I wound up worrying over that, too.  Sigh.  As I said before, I just found all of you so amusing, I just wanted to join in with the fun.  Forgive my intrusion, and I wish all of you only the very best.  Love to all of you, GG

Suzybelle

Dogeyed, no worries!  I cannot imagine your post would have offended anyone, and you are so welcome here!  We are very happy to have you joining in, my friend.   Please come back anytime.

Asheville is one of my all time fave places.  I would love to just move in to the Grove Park Inn.  I was there last year in April and it was fantastic.

hymil

You got me thinking about those off the shoulder dresses. You know, one thin strap one side, just faith and goodwill to hold the other side in place. I never wore them in the past, I have fair skin that freckles but doesn't tan, I just burn, peel and burn some more; so my shoulders (plus chest midriff in fact most of me!) are both lillywhite and I always always cover up to short sleeve level.

Now the shops seem so full of them this year (maybe they always are but i never noticed before) and for the first year I care, i'm feeling bereft and looking at each one thinking Now which shoulder is that, AS IF i was going to expose my good shoulder and get burnt while managing the fooby and sleeve inside the covered arm...  sidestepping all the issues of gravity versus strapless bras for the good side

But yeah if i REALLY didnt care, I should be going topless on the side with no boob and no nipple, supported on the side that still needs a bra and exposing nothing worse than an eight inch scar. How is it Okay for guys to display beer-bellies and man-boobs, but no matter how slim we might be (yeah, well we might.... ) we still have to hide the honest scars of battle? 

cookiegal

Since it is not way too hot for my hoodie I bought some little flowy white things. (BTW they are in the juniors dept of Macy's and marked down to 10 bucks)

Anyway at the beauty shop this new lady INSISTED on removing my "jacket" revealing my lovely silverwave and gauntlet...then I had to have the oh did you hurt your hand thing.....in front of other people.

I use the I had breast cancer now I have lyphedema line all the time. It is too hot to make up anything else.

(PS my le seems to be not shrinking at night, these hot nights, and even the sleeve is not doing so much. Yikes...I shouldn't have taken it off sunday night....it's strange my arm is not really a lot bigger as much as a total different shape....and honestly the more weight I lose the more noticable the difference. Hate this bull. And Faithy...I totally feel you on the I wish I could just wear what I wanted thing.)

kane744

Dogeyed, I was not in the least offended by anything you said.  This is a place to say whatever we want and unless it's something really horrendous, which happens on rare occasions, we are a non-judgmental group.  You wanna share half of my last piece of fudge??

To all of you wanting a sweet, summery look.  I found (in a consignment store) a silk flowery somewhat see through poncho thing to wear over a tank.  It's gorgeous and can be dressed up or dressed down depending what you where with it.  Paid $5.00 for it.  It's was done by Coldwater Creek and soon as I'm done putting in my two cents worth here, am going to look for more online.  There are things out there that can fulfill our need to look absolutely gorgeous without revealing too many secrets.  We just have to look harder for them.

Cookiegal, last night was supposed to be my free night but when I took my sleeve off, it was obvious that wasn't happening.  And I had washed my JoviPak which wasn't dry yet, so I had to wrap.  All day I was looking forward to going to bed FREE.  It was pretty humid so maybe that accounts for it. 

Today I'm staying inside, reading, and trying to figure out how to make my grieving pup find happiness again since he lost his best friend a little over a month ago.  Anyone have any suggestions?  He's so obviously in the depths of grief.

kane744

And I wrote "where" when I meant "wear".

Anonymous

Aw, Kane, I'm sorry for the loss of your pet. Our dogs and cats do grieve when they lose their buddies. We had to put down one of our cats in late March, and the remaining kitty was quite sad. We've just given her lots of love and attention, and she seems to be coming around. 

Will you eventually get another pet?

I agree there are a lot of flowy and ruffled tops and coverups in stores right now. Also, many tops have details like shirring at the neckline and fall so nicely over my lumpy, bumpy chest, with or without a tank or coverup. I'm totally in the groove with creative dressing right now to kick start my summer. Half my closet has been consigned, and another bunch of stuff is going out to another store in a week or so. 

Alright, I bit the bullet this afternoon and tried on those bathing suits. A couple will actually work if I use some type of form. I'm really surprised. Since I don't have the implants, the suits fit looser and don't dig on my hot spot. Hmm, now I just need to do something about my jiggly arms, droopy tummy, legs and butt. Hey, at least that's something I can work with! Where's that magic wand? Oh, right, I need to exercise. Well, yesterday was workout number two post surgery, so I'm on board. Just need to get myself to wake early so I can walk before the heat and sun become unbearable.

kane744

Tina, we had three dogs.  One died suddenly last Nov., the other just a bit ago.  Our youngest is left and completely lost.  Each day I work on training which he seems to enjoy, I groom him, we go for walks, but he is aloof, won't sleep where he once did (by my side), doesn't want to eat.  So sad but we took him to the vet who said this is normal and he will eventually come around. We have decided not to get another dog.  We are both retired and on a fixed income and we feel more comfortable having just one.  Strange though, as we've always had at least two and then here and there an old three would enter our lives to help out older relatives.  We're trying to remain tough and stick to this decision.

We have friends who live on an island in NC and we always go to visit them in the summer.  Last year during the day I'd sit on the porch in a rocking chair reading.  As soon as the sun set, I was down on that beach and in the water.  It was grand.  The crowds had gone, it wasn't so bloody hot, and I didn't have to worry about sunburn.  Try it!

dogeyed

Thanks, Kane, I was a nervous wreck yesterday, and when I went in for usual checkup with my cancer surgeon, my blood pressure was way too high, I think the Taxol must push it up, hence the girls who do Taxol all talk about being wired.  Only thing I can think of to help your lonesome dog is if he still likes to play with his toys, a new stuffed one of good size with a squeaker will sometimes take the place of his buds.  GG

libraylil

Suzybelle, this has been bothering me since I read your post. People have no couth. Maybe if she had le I could understand. Once I had a teacher tell me "you just have to consider the source". When people say crap like ms nosy's comment it makes me insane. I work in an elementary school and have probably had less than 6 kids ask me why I was wearing a hat. HAd one little kindergarten boy ask me that when I was finishIng up tx and in weary mode. I always just told them I had to take medicine that made my hair not look so great. One of the little girls on the back row sat up and told him that I had cancer. She said it with such an attitude it was the end of that. I could just picture little Lizzy with you in the checkout line shutting down the employee and saying "she has le".

When peeps ask things like this you are in such total shock that someone could be such an azz that you don think of a witty comeback. That coupled with your bathing suit shopping, which would send a person without a mx into severe depression, is enough to make you punch someone in the throat.

While I had a lumpectomy, I ve lost weight and was small to begin with. Heck I wear a sports br most of the time and don t even worry about lifting and separating what is left. libraylil

Suzybelle

Oh, Lil - thank you.  I need to borrow Lizzy for a few days!!!!  And you are so right...bathing suit shopping is the pits when I have all my body parts.  It's just hellacious now that I don't.

hymil

Sorry to hear about your pup Kane, and LibraryLil, you could take your lil Lizzy on tour to teach them ignorant grownups a thing or two! Trust kids to get right to the point, it's a nightmare being opposite them but when you have them on your side, Wowww!!!

So i met a new friend today at daytime group I've never been able to get to before, and we discover so much in common. As we part she says, next week when we meet up, after the group, let's go.....

..swimming     

and yet im grateful to have enough health to swim and time to meet in the daytime yadayadayada   But does it have to be swimming??

AnnetteS

There is a thread somewhere on this site that has many clever comebacks for when people ask about le sleeves.  My daughter keeps insisting that when someone asks me about mine, that I reply, "oh, it is to cover up my FU tattoo."

I am guessing I would never have the nerve to do that, but it probably would shut them up pretty quickly.

I was planning on going shopping for a new swim suit after I got my new soft and squishy boobs a few weeks ago.  However, due to infection, I was unable to have the surgery so I will have my expanders for the summer.  I had not thought about how a swimsuit would affect my le. Ugh, another thing to worry about.  

I also work in a school and the kids are great and never say anything. However, today I did get a couple of gasps from them.  I am not currently wearing a sleeve because I think it makes my le worse.  I have red welts at the wrist and upper arm when I wear it.  (I think I need one that fits properl)

Anyway, I was holding my teachers edition of a book longer than I usually do.  When I put it down, there was a DEEP indentation in my arm. I glanced at it and heard a few gasps from the students, but no one said anything.   I just smiled and said, "I guess I shouldn't hold my book like that any more. Don't worry, it will go away :-)"

cookiegal

Annette...I think it was my "What wrong with your arm" thread

libraylil

Annette, I love your daughters answer. This would work. Kids curiosity is different. I had very few ask me why I was wearing a hat during chemo, but I am sure they chatted about it. Now that my hair is growing back some will ask me if I had cancer.

My oldest daughter would get mad if she thought someone was staring at me when I wore a hat or headwrap. Most people ass ume if you are bald you are undergoing chemo. Not many peeps know about LE, hence the "whazz the matter wid yo arm". Still rude and uncouth none the less. You are here and living, savor that thought. Go out and get you a hooch swimsuit! Two more days of school for me!!libraylil

kane744

Low 90s today and high humidity.  Haven't gone anywhere since Mon and I'm SICK OF IT!!  When he was just a pup, Barney taught himself how to walk with me on treadmill.  Such a smart guy.  So at least he's getting walks, if not the smells.  I take him out front to sniff some trees and dash back in when sweat starts to fall.  This is my worst LE summer.  Am becoming depressed.  Am I doing the wrong thing by staying in?  Just got over a bad flare and do not want to be bandaged 24/7.  Native Kentucky plants (weeds) are everywhere in my garden beds.  Can't do anything about it.  Really. AM SICK OF IT!!!!

kira66715

Kane, Binney lives in a hot climate, and we talk about how my winter is her summer. I get massive cabin fever during the winter, and she gets it during the summer.

To quote, as always, our amazing Suzy: LE sucks like a hoover vacuum cleaner.

It is NOT unreasonable to want to avoid a flare, but limitations suck big time.

You have an amazing little dog.

IMO: completely reasonable to be beyond sick of this.

Kira

Christine5

So I decided to go with black sleeve/gauntlet and I had a mom in one of my classes who waited until the end of the evening and very politely asked if I was all right and indicated my arm, I told her about LE and she said, I just thought you were "going bad ass" on us. Thought it was really funny so the next person to ask, I just replied, I'm trying to go bad ass. Don't think he quite bought it but he left it alone as well. I have a young guy at my gas station who asks if I am going out for a game of hoops each time he sees me and I say, that is where I am headed.

Suzybelle

Christine, the 'going badass' totally cracked me up - that is awesome and I will remember that one!!!!

kira66715

Just saw my LE therapist, and she says all the power walkers are wearing compression garments on their legs.

I am a big fan of Ray Allen of the Celtics, and he was the first, that I remember, to start wearing a compression sleeve, and I try and channel being an amazing shooter.

Christine: going bad ass--you go!

Kira

cookiegal

OMG...forgot to mention this....when I was in my beige sleeve, a clerk at the bus station was concerned I was a domestic violence victim.

Now people probably think I have a lycra fetish.

Off to google lycra fetish!

cookiegal

but this was funny...we should add LE gear to the list

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