Life After Reconstruction -- Is Sexy Lingere Still an Option?

Toni_S

I know this may sound trivial to some of you, but I'm curious whether after breast reconstruction I am going to be able to wear the same kinds of bras I wore before, shop at Victorias Secret for example, or whether instead I will need to go to a specialty  shop for the most comfortable and best fit.  I am most likely going with DIEP flap reconstruction.

 I know my reconstructed breasts will never look of feel the same again but I so want to maintain as much of the old me as I can, including my penchant to splurge every now and then for a sexy bra.  I am a newlywed, only married 6 months and facing a BMX -- any way I can regain some self-confidence about my appearance and  my body would be great.

Thanks in advance to the wonderful ladies on these boards who are willing to share their information and experiences.  This is such a scary journey, it so helps to have companions along the way!

timekpr

I can tell you that Victoria's secret has been my best bra source even during reconstruction - the awesome push up bras hid the uneveness, swelling, scars, bandages, and the lopsided tissue expander. It took me a few weeks after my surgery to work up the courage to put on my favorite sexy bra but when I did I looked great! After that I went to Victorias the very next day for some new ones!

Helped me feel like I looked good even when I was physically miserable - there are plenty of sexy undergarments that will fit the new you!

Claire_in_Seattle

Yes, although I didn't do reconstruction as had a lumpectomy.  But in my case, it's combing for La Perla on eBay.

And don't forget nightwear, bottoms, and other essential items.  I think my silk thongs were what enabled me to endure a lot of days of chemo.

You can always ask your husband for help removing your "next to nothings".  I am sure he will be more than happy to help.

Good luck.

EDITORIAL:  One of the things I find most distressing is that the paradigm for post surgery garments is all wrong.  They need to start with Victoria's secret and adapt for the various needs.  Instead, the starting point appears to be ace bandages which are then fashioned into undergarments.  Come on lingerie industry!!!  All this money to support "breast cancer" and you can't even get the garments right.

Anonymous

I had bilateral mastectomies 4 mos ago with TE's. Still waiting for my final reconstruction. A couple of weeks ago, my self esteem hit an all-time low. I decided a visit to Victoria's Secret might help (and it did). I could never wear VS bras before/never got a good fit, anyhow, went in for a bra fitting. The SA was great-she managed to conceal any shock pretty well. I bought several, they fit great, and I feel alot better about myself. Amazing what a good bra can do.I am still wearing wire-free, since that's what the BS and PS advised, but I bought some others and imagine that I could wear those for special occasions, as they are comfortable and also fit well. I imagine that I will have to wear special bras for a while after my final reconstruction, but I am thinking that if I can wear these now with the current state of affairs, it should only get better.

Hope this helps.

NatsFan

Toni - I'm two and a half years post DIEP and I wear whatever bra I want, VS and all.  As a matter of fact, I can now wear nice sexy bras I was never able to wear before because my pre b/c boobs were very large DD's and quite droopy (think orange in a sock).  I had my ps go smaller and perkier for my recon and she did a fabulous job.  Now I have a pair of quite perky Bs that look great in sexy bras.

DaisyinAustin

Hi Ladies,

I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction 11/22, and exchange surgery from TE's to silicon implants 3/5. I couldn't wait to purchase new bras, I just knew it would be the first step back to normalcy.  I waited about a week before venturing out to Victoria's Secret and had such high hopes. VS had been a staple in my wardrobe for a really long time and I just knew I would not be let down. Little did I know trying on bras for the first time would be such a horrible experience. The SA was wonderful, brought me everything available in my size and in an assortment of colors but nothing worked. I was so, so disappointed and it really did a number on me. I recall calling my DH from the dressing room in tears saying I'm never going to be "normal". Days later, I pulled myself together and went to Nordstrom's and that was the best decision I could have made. The SA there had obviously served women in our situation and quickly directed my attention away from push ups and miracle bras.  Whatever you do, please allow yourself enough time to try on everything. The mistake I made in VS was trying to get these new implants into bras that have an extraordinary amount of padding. Silly me, I should have realized I don't need padding any more. I learned that I should have tried on bras that are demi cup. That was the magic for me. I purchased 4 really awesome demi cup bras from Nordstrom's and just recently returned to VS to purchase the most beautiful demi's they had available, not to mention their awesome cheekies.

All this to say, don't give up. There are options for us, we just have to find them.  Good luck in your journey!  I too, hope this helps.

ktym

ToniS, I was scared to death going in for the first bra fitting after recon.  Victoria's Secret at Briarwood Mall in Ann Arbor MI, has my devotion forever.  When the salesperson asked me what size and I said I don't know, she simply said, well lets measure you.  When she saw the reconstruction she didn't even blink, made me feel like everyone looked like I did, measured me and I walked out of there with Victoria's Secret bras that made me feel so good again.  They have my business forever.  (I'm a fan of the Demi's too, I have some asymetry between the two sides and it hides it well and I love the way they look)

Toni_S

Thanks so much, ladies!  Although nothing can be "normal" again after this diagnosis I find it encouraging that I can still shop in the same places I did before.  I will look forward to my first post treatment visit to VS, in fact that's one of the things that will keep me motivated through all of this

feelingblessed

Thank you for asking! I thought I was the only one! I like pretty lingerie and everything looks so awful. I have been feeling stripped of my femininity.

emily_the_cat

On a related note, I've been thinking about a boudoir photography session after I have my exchange surgery. Has anyone else done one or is thinking about it? I did one before my wedding seven years ago, and it was a huge confidence booster. I think after all I've been through it would be fun to buy some pretty lingerie, get my hair and makeup done, and strike a pose