psychological impact of breast cancer

crazy4carrots

Hahahaha Rosemary!

Ellie1959

pil, I love seeing your animals - I am petless and sad but DH will not allow it - sometimes I wonder if it is a fair trade off. I find Mental Cancer an offensive handle - and strangely familiar. Is this another cruel hoax perpetuated on us BC victims? E

bluedahlia

Athena, are they pink?

CordeliaGalgut

Hi there, I think it's great that you're doing this presentation, perhaps you've already done it by now.  If you haven't, I thought you might be interested in my book on the psychological impact of breast cancer.  I'm a psychologist who's also had the disease, diagnosed 7 years ago, and the reason I wrote the book was because I'd been supporting women with breast cancer emotionally, prior to having it myself, and thought I knew what they were going through, but realised from the other side of the fence that I had absolutely no idea.  The book is primarily me documenting how life has been since diagnosis, interlaced with psychological observations.  I also write about the history of breast cancer, which I think impacts massively on women as we go through diagnosis, treatment, life after the initial phase of treatment, even if we're not consciously aware of how this impacts on us.  The book is very easy to read, so it might be something you would want to look at and I don't think there are any/many books on the psychological impact of breast cancer, certainly not from this dual perspective.  I'm happy to be in touch via email, if that's of any help.  My email address is cgalgut@insight99.plus.com and the book is called The psychological impact of breast cancer: a psychologist's insights of as a patient, published by Radcliffe Publications.  I hope this helps.

Gonda

What an interesting question.  I had no clue I would feel the way I feel.  I just finished all my treatments; chemo, radiation and now reconstruction.  Thru out the entire time I was absolutely fine --  didn't skip a beat.  My friends and my family were amazed at me and quite impressed.  I had my down times when I was alone, but never showed it to anyone.   So you would think, wow...  she is thru it and things should now be back to normal.   For me, someone who has always been positive - it is so weird.  I feel like I am now going thru a mild depression.  I feel like a year ago I was pulled away from this world and then spent 9 months or more focusing on doing all the right things and just getting better.  And now it feels like I've been dropped down, back to the world I lived in, only now my hair is different, my breasts are different, my feelings about many things are basically the same - only I am a different person.  I know it will only take time to re-adjust to my new world, but never expected this!

tedmom

I'm new to this forum but I was curious how you deal with feeling unattractive and not at all sexy. My husband has been wonderful through this journey but I think he is also frustrated at my lack of interest in sex. I am going through reconstruction and feel like I have a brick on my chest which my PS says is normal. He said he hears that from women who are getting close to the point of having the implants placed. Any ideas out there regarding feeling sexy again. Sorry, if this is not the right forum for this question.

bettereveryday

Dear Mentalcancer.  Thank you for asking.  I truly believe that the word cancer affects affects every patient physically as well as mentally.  When the Mammography Tech said "I'll be right back" I knew I was in trouble.  The Radiology Department called the surgeon, I went straight from Radiology to the Surgeon who ordered ultra-sound giuded biopsies of both breasts, and MRI per request of the Radiologist.  When your first diagnosed, everything seems to go very quickly, your moved along through the tests, treatments, surgeries, more treatments, radiation, physical therapy while your mind is still trying to wrap around your advanced Stage IV and every book left lying around the doctors waiting area, including the pamplets given out to describe your medications, have you dying on page 10, there has to be a mental element to it all.  What helped me the most was my peace with God, the love of my family, and the never failing care of every individual involved in my physical care.  I would emphasize to all medical personnel, in training or practice, that they're attention to the individual that they're with at the moment, is the most important element of any treatment. 

whatshername

I felt that I bore diagnosis, surgery, chemo and radiotherapy with 'great fortitude'. I am British after all and that's what we do isn't it? In my case, it was all a mask, and underneath was the anger, denial and terror. I think the professionals knew that really, but most seemed pleased to play along with my act. The NHS is a big machine, and you are passed from one to another with no real connection between any of them, and many not knowing what they were doing.

I was legally stabbed, cut, poisoned and burned: real abuse. It was the chemo that did me in psychologically. I could not eat or drink any of the things that I had during the chemo sessions, or wear the same clothes. It is a year ago now but I would still be sick if I met one of the nurses. My trips back to the oncologist are an ordeal, but a quick chat and it's all done. I live in fear of needles. My chemo arm hurts when I say that.

Even my daughter can't bear to look at terracotta coloured chairs because she was complicit in letting them hurt me so badly.

The depression seemed to kick in once I had finished all the treatment and was back at work. Lymphodeama hasn't helped, and my relationship with my husband has changed. I feel a great dissappointment in him but know he did his best bless him. i'm taking hormone tablets so understand that they have changed my body and made my fibro myalgia twice as bad.

But I am alive, very different but alive, and I think in time I will recover 'myself' whoever she is.

funnily enough I don't want professionals to try and help me. I have this picture in my my mind of a subconscious me sitting with arms and legs folded, behind a wall with no door.

i've had enough medical people in my life, so thank you very much but leave me alone!

DivineMrsM

The first six months after being diagnosed with bc, I must have been in shock.  I dealt with chemo, it was ot a picnic, but I made it thru.  Then a number of things happened:  son graduated from high school and I had to begin dealing with him transitioning to college, I went into menopause due to the chemo, my younger brother had emergency open-heart surgery.  

Suddenly, I felt I was pushed over the edge emotionally.  I began to experience anxiety.  It was awful.  The nurse practitioner at my regular doctor's office worked with me to find an antianxiety medicine to help me.  The anxiety is less, but I still feel sad.  

I had a lumpectomy and am now doing radiation. Going every day for rads is tedious.  I absolutely hate how canser has changed my life, how stage iv cancer has changed me, and how it's affected my love ones, most especially my husband and son.  I would love to rise above all the sadness and anxiety that seems to hang around but so far I haven't been able to.  There are not many people who can relate to what I feel and experience.

Claire_in_Seattle

I had a different experience than what I am reading here.  I was absolutely sure I had breast cancer so was grateful, it was relatively early stage and treatable.  "Slash, burn, poison" is the best we have right now, and was not nearly as bad as I anticipated.

I have had other not fun things happen in my life.

I think it helped immensely that I cycled and did other exercise throughout active treatment, including one event during Taxol.  So I didn't have the body issues.

Having said this, I did go through an odd period of "dislocation" about six to twelve months past final chemo.  I didn't quite look like myself, and I was at about 95% energy, so didn't have my edge.  I was still able to do things like 12 miles of heavy-duty x-country skiing, but lacked my normal energy level.  When I looked in the mirror, I wasn't the woman I used to be, nor the woman I would become.  I had this vile 'do from a 1950s B movie.  Nothing to be done other than wait.

Then one day, it was over.  I was off on a cycling adventure, and going via a mountain pass I hadn't seen before.  My dreams were back.  I realize now how bored I was with the work I was doing (over as client isn't doing well), and that I was ready to rejoin industry.

So a lot of thinking, and now in a full-scale job search, plus have some new consulting clients.  I am really psyched at this point.

I still need more work on re-inventing my look, but that depends on landing my new gig.  I am more fit than ever at this point.

I realize that I was extremely fortunate, and am beyond thankful.  Now the big question is where will I land, and what will the rest of my career look like??? 

I can't wait to get there as tired of "living large on the cheap" and need the mental challenge too at this point. - Claire

DivineMrsM

whatshername, I also hate the trips to the oncologist.  I have to go for a monthly zometa iv, and I see her every other month.  I used to like her, but it's just the idea that she was and is going to be the one to tell me bad news when it happens.  I know there' not much she can do about it.  I hated going to the breast surgeon, too, for the same reason.  I never spent much time at doctors prior to bc, I only went for my yearly mammo and pap test.  Now it's something I deal on a more frequent basis.  I often feel very alone.  Like everyone else around me is busy living their life, and I'm left over here to deal with this disease.

whatshername

Oh dear, now I feel guilty because I'm not cycling from John o'Groats to Landsend (one end of the UK to the other) but to be honest I have never been one to do lots of exercise. It does sound a wonderful way to get your life back on track though, and I have so many friends that enjoy running. Some have done the Race for Life to raise money for cancer research which is admirable.

I think you have to find your own therapy, whether physical or less so. There must be a way for each of us to find some inner peace surely. My daughter and I, forever linked in the chemo trips, got totally absorbed in a sewing project last xmas to make a felt nativity scene. We took a photo and turned it into a xmas e card. I suppose we could have trained for a marathon, but for some reason we did this odd thing with little felt heads with wooly hair, angel wings and baby Jesus.

My small grandchildren will always keep me grounded as they just treat me the same as they ever have. I have spent many hour silently weeping at the thought of not seeing them grow up, but they don't know that, and actually I seem to have passed through that phase.

Maybe that is it, we pass through phases, like walking through a maze and one day we will reach the prize at he end of all the anxiety and feel better!

Let's all keep going then, running, cycling, knitting, sewing, crying, laughing, swearing until we get there!

Elizabeth1889

Sometimes, I feel like Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, when she was asked about widowhood. She said, "It does not get better, but you get better at it."  I recently completed chemo and radiation and now I feel like I did when I was first diagnosed with BC.  Sometimes, I am very hopeful and other days I dwell on dark thoughts.  I hope that as time passes, I will learn to control my dark thoughts and enjoy each precious day of life.  For now, I do a little bit of lots of things. Connect with friends. Walk on my treadmill some days. Read.  Do embroidery. I am working on embroidering a Christmas tablecloth now.  I think the embroidery has been the most theraputic activity of all.  Great for calming my mind.

bruthd52

Hello,    I've had 4 breast surgeries for DCIS, the last being a complete matectomy and immediate reconstruction.   I'm 3-4  weeks from that and in addition the the pain neither surgeon told me I would have (at least not this much), I feel like I am falling into a black hole.   I hold an advanced degree in psychology and know I have clinical depression.  I just am not sure where to start with getting help.   All I want to do is sleep and cry.  I have not interest in doing anything. I have suicidal thoughts although I know I would not act on them.  Other people who havent had cancern don't want to talk about it or are polyanna types who say how great I look and that things will be find.  This is the worst thing that has has ever happened to me and I've been through 2 divorces.