how has breast cancer influenced your life for good?

Annabella58

Hi all;

I'm 3 years out from 2nd diagnosis, and am beginning to think of all the very positive things that have happened to me from having this disease.

(not the least of which are the wonderful buddies and all the support and help I have received!!!)

Anyone else feel this way?  I am not trying to be Pollyanna here, but I do know that it has impacted me in several postive ways.  I"m certainly a more focused thinker, a better friend, a more pro active person. 

Who else here has some good things to say about this journey?

xox

J9W

I notice the sky, clouds, flowers and trees more. I don't get so annoyed over little things either.

Annabella58

thank you, ladies.  I have to ask that no one else post anymore til I hear back from the mods. 

Was unaware that I needed permission to do this, and I should have been!

Thanks much!  Bless you all.

I will post again when I hear back from the mods that this is OK with them. (research paper/possible book in the works)

Fearless_One

I wish I had your attitude, but no, I do not feel BC was a gift in any way.   I am single, and now it will be harder for me to find love, I worry constantly about losing my job (i.e. my insurance), and I feel 60 and am only 46.

BUT it did show me who the people are who really care about me vs. who don't.  So that's a good thing :-)

hymil

My mother had a fall, went to hospital and survived but never came home, so I had to clear all her stuff, Oh-Boy was it a mess. They grew up in the war, were married 50 years, and had moved to a bigger house after 27, so had never thrown anything away. What a job that was! BC has brought home that I never want anyone else to have to deal with my own collection of junk, so every now and then i get a box or a drawer and go through it and sort, tidy, bin, recycle, sell, hoover.... It's an absolute mountain of a job, but like I saw a poster today: How do you eat an elephant?:.... One bite at a time. I figure so long as what leaves the house exceeds what enters, I have to be slowly winning, unless it's growing. I think of all those papers as being food for bugs, like oestrogen is food for cancer, and that encourages me to take another box and just do it!

Alpal

Breast cancer took my oldest daughter in 2006. She was 35 years old. I was diagnosed with Stage IV BC in 2008. I can truthfully say that breast cancer has not influenced my life for good in any way. Sorry, but I hate breast cancer.

jessica749

I feel that I appreciate each day in a more intense way, I think I appreciate how much I am lucky for. How greedy we all are for life; how fortunate I am to be alive at 48, because frankly let's face it far too many people-whether from bc, other cancers, wars, other diseases, natural disasters, etc.- don't see 48.  At the same time I realize this deeper appreciation, I realize that if my prognosis was not as good as it currently knock on wood is, I would have a much harder time finding the good in it. It is only the feeling of "oh my it could all have been so much worse..." that I am able to feel positive, I think, honestly.

Annabella58

gosh I am so sorry for the losses you have endured...I did not mean in any way to highlight any of these or bring sadness to anyone...

I don't mean to make it out to be "gift" either.  I don't view it that way.  I am only trying to find something positive out of having it, no matter how small, even if it is how we view the clutter we are trying to clear out, or crystallizing what we do want out of life, or even, when we have lost someone, to be so glad that we had the time that we did with them...

in my clumsy way, I am endeavoring to get some sort of positive out of a truly dreadful experience.  I do believe that I have grown in compassion and understanding or at least I try to make that my goal, anyway.

GmaFoley

I have only known about my cancer for just over a month now and I already appreciate every sunrise and sunset.  I thank God for every breath I take and every day I have to talk to my little grandsons on skype.. I have been struggling with pain since my 2 surgeries in the past 3 weeks but I have had great doctors and have met alot of great people including the ladies here...

pil

so far the only thing cancer has done for me is....make me worry about insurance because my husband lost his job 2 weeks before I was diagnosed, (even though he found a contract and working out of state) make my granddaughter cry, as my two daughters cry. Made me quit eating right, worry constantly and have at least one almost hyperventilating attack a day and hold my breath. Even though I dont tell my husband or talk to him about it right now, he is worried. On top of all this my sister calls me everyday and asks how am I. FINE I SAY nicely of course.

I am wiggly on the inside a lot AND just this evening found out my neighbor's Mother died of cancer. She was here last year playing with her grandson just before her diagnose. Life is gone in a flash.

I may want to cry but wont break down until I can see the complete results and treatment schedule. At which time I may ask my husband to take me to a casino and get plastered on my ass and play the penny slots till I fall off the chair. self indulgent but never the less very repetitive and mindless activity for oblivion purposes only.

I dont need the kind of attention, God.

Annabella58

pil: I am so sorry for your sadness and troubles that you are having now...I've been there, too.

Annabella58

Fearless One:

On the subject of a lover....bc is a very effective tool to screen out the jackasses....if they don't admire what you have gone thru and the woman that you are and your strength and beauty, despite these challenges, well, don't let the door hit them on their way out of it.  Better than Match.com!

A real love will not see this as an obstacle.  Why shouldn't you date?  Go for it.  You are "fearless one", you can and should.  You are beautiful and strong inside and out.

love to all

annie

Annabella58

You said it, JB.  !

Annabella58

I'm stopping the thread, mods did not give permission.  I'm sorry ladies and thank you for all your input.

I will not use any in any publication, but will research on my own.

It' s a nice way to look at it and a nice thread anyway .  Best to all.

annie

Annabella58

yes, I deleted all the posts

best to all

annie

otter

What??? anniealso, I don't understand why you deleted your question and all your posts. You're a long-time member here -- why shouldn't you be able to ask us a question like that, to see what we think?

FWIW, I wouldn't have answered your question, because the ways in which BC has "influenced my life for good" are far outnumbered by the bad things -- the things I would trade away in a heartbeat, if I could.  But, that's just me; and to some extent it shows how happy I was with my life before BC decided to drop in for a visit.  (I was very happy.)  I do not consider my diagnosis to have been "a blessing" etc., but I'm aware that other women feel very differently.

Anyway, ... why would the Moderators need to give you permission to ask us whether our diagnosis had made us feel better about our lives?

otter

Basia

BC sux! And I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. But I am thankful for all the good things that came about as a result of this nightmare. I appreciate life, family and friends more than ever. I stopped sweating the small stuff. I have met a bunch of amazing women on this journey, women I would never have met otherwise. And this has brought my husband an I closer together, I think we may have had one fight since my diagnosis last July, we both realize that fighting over nonsense is a waste of precious time.

Suzybelle

I don't have to wear a bra anymore...that's about all I can come up with.

konakat

Hahahaha.  Not at all.

nikola

I got tummy tuck, breast reduction and curly hair....things that I always wanted.

On the serious side, I got to see who my real friends are (had big surprise in that department, both positive and negative). Also, my "always pessimistic" husband started to lighten up.

Annabella58

HI all:

I am sorry, Otter, apparently, you do indeed need permission from the mods, if you are going to write a book or do a research paper, which I had stated was the intent when I began this thread.

They denied me p ermission, so I deleted and stopped.  However, if anyone feels the need to continue, without any eye to publication, I can leave it active, just won't be using anything anyone on here posts for that purpose.  Wasn't sure how to go about it after they said no, so I deleted my own posts.

I agree....so many cons it's hard to find the up side.  I am relentlessly glass half full gal, so I tend to focus on that. 

I don't sweat the small stuff anymore and I try to find some humor in some of the situation.  It's sooooo true re: who your friends are!  Well, let me reword that one;  it's who of your friends can cope, actually.

xxoxox

Annabella58

p.s. I cannot ask for stories or quotes on these boards, per the mods.  I get that, no problem.

If you still want to volunteer your take on it, you can always PM me and we can correspond via email.  I promise to talk about it with you, but not on here, I guess.  that's OK!  I am so lucky to have made all these fantastic friends here and gotten the wonderful support I have from
BC.org.  I reccomend it to everyone I meet, as I do alot of volunteer counselling/mentoring from referrals from my OB/GYN and onc in the BC arena.  I've given BC.org name to my doctors as a resource, as believe it or not, (and it's hard to believe), many women don't know about it!!!

 (I've had a laundry list of crap done to me, so I feel a moral obligation and also an emotional one.  I WANT to help, so I do.  I think that's pretty common with all of us, don't you guys?)

It's a forum, so anyone that feels the need to do so, can continue to post here I think?  I just cannot use your stories in my book.

love and good health to all of us!!!

(Otter: try "creme de la Femme!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Annabella58

here's my offering today:

(live my life this way)

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken

(Jewell, "hands")