Single life after a mastectomy

juneping

deb,

I also think you are entitled to half of what he has. Especially you gave up your life for the marriage. I wish you the best

grayeyes

Well, this thread has brightened my day, that's for sure.  With so many men out there dating younger women, it's great to see there are just as many women who date younger men.  I love it.  (I myself don't plan to date again, but I'm leaving my options open in case the right person - someone trustworthy - comes along.)

Deb - You just had your last chemo treatment, right?  You are going to be pleased again with the way you look very soon.  When I first found out about my husband's infidelities, my hair was beginning to sprout, but there were bald sections; the reconstruction wasn't finished; and I was way too thin.  I said:  Why couldn't you have left when I was healthy?  I was angry with myself, too, for staying with him through the difficult times and not divorcing him when I was still healthy. 

But, soon the hair did grow back just as thick and full, and I became healthier again and in much better shape.  If you haven't gotten rid of those other clothes yet, hold onto them.  Plan on life getting better for you again very soon.

Virginia - I hope you're doing well with the second chemo treatment.

I hope everyone else out there is doing well, too!

VirginiaNJ

life: ty, yes... I am doing well. Chemo #2 was very uneventful- the nurse stuck me and got a vein the first time. Last treatment I woke up in the middle of the night feeling nauseous and took the Zofran... But, this time, no nausea (yet). So I am happy about that. Ventured out in the miserable snow this AM for an oil change for my car and was then supposed to get my neulasta shot...but I bailed on it given the weather. I will go tomorrow. So funny when I called the mean receptionist at the doctors office was giving me a hard time and said I am "lucky they can squeeze me in tomorrow at 11:30" and I said, "really? it's a 5 SECOND shot..." Jeesu. Anyhow, disappointed in the snow as I had TONS of plans to accomplish things before any potential SE's kick in... Oh well. I did manage to crank up my snow thrower and clear my driveway. Was a wee bit uncomfortable (7 weeks post surgery) but not terrible. Thank goodness for a small driveway.

To the others, I am so sorry that you are going through painful divorces... I cannot even imagine how difficult it is.... I know how hard it is to end just a relationship so i cannot even imagine how hard it is a marriage. warmest thoughts for you all.

Oh, and lol, I gave up looking for a guy a lonnnnnnnnnnng time ago. I have always been super super unlucky in love anyway. And for better or worse, I ended up concentrating on my career...which is really great and successful. I spent the day with my sister yesterday- she is a stay at home mom of 5 kids and we spent the day shopping after my chemo. I had lost 50 pounds (on purpose on Weight Watchers) so none of my winter clothes fits me lolll so i was purchasing some new things for myself and i think i was making my sister faint with my spending. I feel guilty, but me buying a $60 sweater in Tommy Hilfiger is way less than a years' college tuition for 5 kids..........

bdavis

I am on Tamoxifen, have been for two years, and HONESTLY, my skin is great, have lost weight, and hair is as thick as can be. Don't believe everything you read.

VirginiaNJ

and UGH- sorry for my horrible grammar / punctuation / etc ... i swear it's post-chemo brain and my brain is not synapsing very well :O

VirginiaNJ

I was on tamoxifen for 5 years with very few SE's... I will also go back on the Tamox (even though THIS cancer was TN, the onc thought it wouldn't hurt to go on the Tamox given the first cancer was triple positive).

Deb- yay for you finishing chemo!!!!! I was always ok with the no hair. last time I documented how quickly it grew back which was actually kind of cool. So, I took a pic of myself on my last day of chemo, then every month on the same day until I got my first haircut. I actually need to go back and look at those pics so I can see how long my hair will be once i stop this round of chemo!!!

Enerva

Hi ladies, i am glad you are all well, i have to admit that during chemo we all feel non attractive but as the chemo ends and we start feeling normal it all comes back. Last month my period came back and i was so happy lol after a year of no having a P. I never thought i could be happy to have it, but it made me feel somewhat normal. I have to be honest with you all. I look very good now in the outside but in the inside i am not yet back to the normal me. I went to dinner with a few friends that i met last year and they all complimented me saying, you are looking very healthy and i smile but inside i dont feel it yet Do that makes sense? 

Enerva

lol Deb you are right after the surgery maybe i will really feel better inside. i am studying and trying to keep my brain busy but cant help to feel down, maybe is winter and the fact that its xtmas and i never felt in the spirit of it. Oh well It ll all pass, its just a matter of time. 

grayeyes

Deb - I don't take hormones at all. The chemo put me into early menopause, and then my ovaries were removed, and I take Tamoxifen every day.  I worried that I would have horrible side effects from all of these things, but aside from the hot flashes, I have nothing to report.  I try to be careful about what I eat, but I'm not having trouble keeping my weight down.  Just like bdavis and Virginia, I'm not having any problems.  Yet.  (Soon they're putting me on an aromatase inhibitor.  I hope I do just as well on those pills!)  Hopefully you'll do just as well as we have.

Virginia - Glad to hear your chemo #2 went well.  You're right about the neulasta shot being only a few seconds.  Where I went for treatment, we could walk in at any time for our shot.

Enerva - I hope you're feeling just as well on the inside very soon.  Something about the gloomy skies at this time of year always had me feeling down, too.  Springtime is my favorite time of year.  And, as Deb said, you should feel better after the final exchange.

Enerva

lol its ok i will be happy to get it over with. have some eggnog for me  

bdavis

I had three eggnogs today... FATTENING

butterfleyez

hey ladies.. I'm new to the thread but wanted to join in. I'm 8weeks out of deip surgery and about to start tamoxifen. I'm 35, single and new to my city. It makes it kinda tough to think about dating. I do plan on meeting and dating but I have to work on my self image with the scars and noob. I was worried about tamoxifen making things worse so its good to read that there are actually people here who haven't had major SE's

Enerva

Butterfleyez welcome! 

Enerva

I got some good news, i met my PS today and made her change the order for my implants i am so happy, ready to have my exchange and then move on  

grayeyes

Excellent news, Enerva!

And welcome, Butterfleyez.  :-)

juneping

welcome butterfly!!

bdavis - do you mind me asking about the taxmo, so you don't have any side effects? just curious...bc i was freaked out after reading all the side effects on this board. my doc already told me i'll be taking it since of the postive ER PR....

enerva - oh, great!! i am glad it's moving along

deb - how have you been?

just finished the deadline for the time being, another bigger one is coming at the end of jan... will probably need to tell my team i have surgery and won't be able to be the best team player. BC sucks....

VirginiaNJ

hi Butter...welcome!!!

June- I took Tamox for 5 years and tolerated it really well. I had some occasional headaches, foot pain, and hot flushes, but all SE's came and went (none were constant for the 5 years I was on it). And truthfully, once I went off it (after 5 years) I didn't feel different. I will go back on the Tamox for another 5 years once I finish this round of chemo. Even tho this most recent cancer was triple negative, she was in favor of the Tamox as my first cancer was triple positive.

Enerva- good for you.... I have read some posts on the Implant 101 site, but I don't want yo depress myself lol. I have only 500cc TE's and my PS stopped filling them at 480cc because my skin was getting too thin. I was a DD before and I am thinking I will be a full B if I am lucky. It's fine as being healthy is most important, but it will be a new look for me.

Have been wiped out exhausted and very achy from chemo 2. Can't wait for this part to be over your sure.

bdavis

juneping.... I have been on Tamoxifen for 2 years now. At first, I was looking for symptons... wondered if I had joint pain that I had read about... and hot flashes...vision issues... but no. I had a few hot flashes in the first couple of months, and maybe some achy joints at the beginning, but I think I was looking for it. I really have zero SE. Which is good, cause my doctor tells me they now think it should be 10 years. I do take a low dose asprin 4 times a week, to protect me from blood clots.

Chemo and tamoxifen did push me into menapause and with that there has been a gyno SE... In that I developed vaginitis (which is common for post menapausal women), but that's really it.

juneping

thanks ladies....

can't wait to get the surgery out of the way.....

Enerva

Same here, 11 days for me  

grayeyes

June and Bdavis - I take a baby aspirin (to protect from blood clots), too, every day along with Tamoxifen.  And I've had no SE's either, aside from hot flashes.  (But the hot flashes really started before Tamoxifen when chemo threw me into menopause.) 

The fact that both bdavis and I haven't experienced serious SE's on Tamoxifen causes me to wonder if the baby aspirin is one of the reasons.  (?)  I don't know.  Just throwing the idea out there.

bdavis

I had wicked hot flashes on chemo... Tamoxifen caused warm flashes but that has passed. Interesting idea that the aspirin makes the difference.

juneping

about the blood clot, high blood pressure, stroke, heart attack run in my family on both sides....

and i have an italian inside me. it's a joke by my italian mentor. haha

grayeyes

Same here.  Severe hot flashes on chemo. 

bdavis

I have high blood pressure and family history of high BP and heart attacks... Docs aren't concerned.

grayeyes

June - Blood clots (and stroke) run in my family, too.  I had small blood clots while on chemo.  But now... so far, so good.  With all this talk about having no SE's, though, I hope I'm not jinxing myself! 

bdavis

right?

grayeyes

Well, I embarrassed myself today. 

I needed to call my PS's office to ask a question about nipple tattooing.  So, I dialed the office number.  A woman answered.  I proceeded to explain that I was a patient who needed nipple tattoos and had a question to ask.  It turns out that - yeah - you guessed it - the office phones weren't working.  And I was talking to an answering service. 

When asked if I wanted to leave my name and number, I was like, uh, no, I just wanted to call a stranger and offer that personal information and then hang up.  lol

I hope the rest of you enjoy an embarrassment-free weekend.  :-)

juneping

I got pick pocketed today while hopping on the subway. Damn the theft.

I didn't lose much just lots of follow up to do. I lost my insurance card...

grayeyes

Oh, no, I'm sorry to hear that, June.  I hope you receive your new card and everything else soon.