One of those bad days!

Braveheart

Hi girls,

First of all sorry for making this post long. Secondly I'm so greatful to this site. I've found great support here from my generous sisters.

Did this ever happen to you? If yes, how did you react?

I was diagnosed with TNBC January 17. My Doctor called and asked me to come in to see him. I was shocked,sad and crying at home, but pulled myself together when I went into the hospital. I wanted to sit down next to my friend. As soon as I came close to her a small boy sat on the corner of the chair. I went in to sit on the opposite small corner of that chair, sharing it with the little boy. His mother was so pissed off that I did that, that after about a minute of yelling at her son for getting up he should go back and reclaim "his chair". He didn't do as she said so all of a sudden I felt a strong drop of weight next to me. I turned around to see her big a$$ sitting next to me. My heart started to beat fast, unsure of her emotional stability. I got up, took the little boys hand and told him gently "come son sit next to your mommy". I went on the opposite side of the waiting room.  I felt so sad, at the same time angry at this insensitive woman for making her son nervous and me uncomfortable. I just found out I have cancer, I felt scared and sad. What would you have done?

Here's another one...

A few days ago I had my 1st taxol and my friends asked me to go out yesterday since I was starting to feel better. I was browsing at the store and then some item fell to the floor behind me. I continued walking and didn't go back to pick it up. All of sudden I hear loud footsteps from an employee. I turned around and she gave me the dirties look ever. If her evil look could kill, I would have been dead. I felt so uncomfortable. I ignored her and left.

Today, I went  out to another store and the sales person dropped some clothing on my hand without an apology. Another customer just threw her bag on top of mine. As if I'm not there.

I wanted to buy a  cute dress for a friend's wedding. I saw some very nice dresses but I felt so depressed that I'm missing  a breast and that I'm bald. Before surgery I could fill up any top and it looked very nice on me. Now it's such a different story.  I'm only 34. I feel like i've been cursed. 

 I feel invisible since I've been diagnosed and going through chemo.

 I'm a very polite person, and I'm the 1st to apologize for the smallest inconvenience. I feel since I stared chemo that my heart beats very fast and I feel scared/ threatened easily. I feel that people are ungrateful for what they have and they only complain about small stuff.

I feel that the good people are getting terrible diseases and the evil and not compassionate people are going to be left polluting the world. I felt like stopping chemo, regretting doing mastectomy and losing my hair. I feel I'm doing it for nothing. I don't want to fight this terrible disease while I'm met by evil and ignorant people. Today is a tough day for me.

Can you share any bad moments while you were going through treatment? What would you have done if you were in the same situation.

I'm sure I'm not alone. Thank you for listening. I know here I'm met by kind hearted people.