What term to use instead of 'survivor'?

poptart

As long as we live, we are in a constant battle "to survive" bc but as to being a "survivor" at this point while we are still alive, I think is an incorrect term to use, imo. 

Aww...it is precisely when we are still alive that we are survivors .... any of us, whether diagnosed with bc or not!

clariceak

I know I don't like the term survivor.  I associate it with women in pink t-shirts marching for breast cancer awareness. And breast cancer awareness seems to be so focused on mammograms, which as we know, don't work for dense breasts.  If foundations like Susan Komen want to spend most of their money on "awareness", why not work to help prevent late stage cancer by encouraging use of alternative screen methods for women with dense breasts.

The rah rah "survivor" mentality also fails to acknowledge the existence of Stage IV women, who don't receive the same support or money for research.

Anonymous

Awareness doesn't help much with Lobular Cancer either.  I got annual mammograms for 30 years.  In my opinion, the whole mammo/self exam thing has improved "early detection" for some ductal BC patients but many are left out of this to fend for themselves.  There are also other types of BC where the survival rate can be bad no matter how early it is detected.

I'm also very turned off by the whole pink thing and the treatment of Stage 4 women.

Celtic_Spirit

I think "awareness" should also focus on the disease itself, not just early detection. I've had so many people...people who should know better, like friends who are nurses and even my boyfriend who went through this whole ordeal with me...think that "it's over now, you're all better" like I had a nasty case of the flu. Yes, it's over...for now, and I can only hope forever. But that could change with the next back ache. So many people don't know that breast cancer can recur, that many women and men aren't diagnosed until they're stage IV and they'll never "be better." They see the ladies in pink at the Komen walks who are all happy and smiles (and believe me, I'm glad for them), and breast cancer almost seems like something fun, like joining the Red Hat Society.

clariceak

I would also add inflammatory breast cancer to the list.  Too many women are dying because their doctors didn't recognize the signs, or dismissed them because the patient was young and nursing a child.

hymil

Agreed, and mammograms don't prevent cancer. They don't even diagnose it early, unless you are in a screening target group - I and lots of us others never got to routine mammos because BC got to us first.

I like the war analogy because when we have active disease and are in active treatment there really is a battle going on, it does take it out of you in so many ways and we do have to give it our best shot like our life depends on it....and am wondering...  In the UK we don't currently have conscription or compulsory military service like some countries, but you can join the armed forces voluntarily, either as a career job or a weekend part-time "reservist" the career military go onto the reserve list for five years after they leave the forces, "Just in case", and in the event that we needed to do a call-up, they would be first back in.  I guess the remission phases of BC is a bit like being on the reserve list, you never know when you might need to get back in the saddle.

hymil's Big Book of Words [Roget's Thesaurus] gives me three sets of thought-linkage for Survivor:

group 1 a thing [person] remaining; this list includes wreck, skeleton, surplus, residue, stubble, dregs and cheese-parings  Not a very complimentary set of comparisons there!  

group 2 a long time: durability, longevity, abiding, evergreen, outlive and lingering.. getting better but i'm not keen on that last one....all sounds a bit passive?

group 3 permanence, absence of change; this seems better to me. including words like endurance, intact, persistence, obstinacy.

Anything useful there?

Rachel1

My mum, a gardener, says I'm  a tenacious weed of a woman. And, you can't keep a good weed down. No matter how many times I'm stomped on, pulled up, mowed over, I keep thriving. How about thriver instead of survivor??

Rachel 

hymil

<<LIKE!>> That's brilliant, Rachel.  A weed is really just the name which ungrateful people give to a beautiful flower that has the generosity to grow even where it's not appreciated . If i ever need a new usename, I shall remember tenacious weed!

Anonymous

I  guess I don't feel quite like I'm a bc survivor yet.  It's been 2 years since my surgeries in March and April 2009.  I still feel I fighting it yet because I just don't know if any tiny cell got thru and is somewhere waiting to show itself in my bone or brain or liver.  I think of the primary tumor in the breast as a big yellow dandelion on a healthy green lawn.  This big dandelion has puffed out some of those airborne seeds into the air and to fall and take root in another area on the lawn.  I picture them to be the cells in my lymphnodes ,  I know that chemo and radiation and arimidex, and tomoxifen all is like my insurance that these seeds won't sprout up somewhere again, but I just don't trust this disease and so rather than feeling like I'm a survivor, I feel more like a fight-girl in remission.  I am not so presumptuaous to say I am cancer free.  I am primary tumor free with clear margins, but I don't get my hopes up.

Barb

lauri

I never use the phrase "cancer free" or "in remission"  ... when anyone asks, I merely say that "right now they can find no evidence of disease."  But I will march with my pink "Survivor" t-shirt in the Susan Komen and be glad to go through the flower arch with the 5-year group.  I do like the "tenacious weed" title, though!

Lowrider54

I hate the Pink and the entire fluffy pretty pink marketing that has surrounds it.  New treatments come and the Race for the Cure is on - sadly, it is a race for a cure at an early stage and that is where the money goes - our lives get prolonged as a side effect of this race - where is OUR race for a cure? 

I was cancer free for 10 1/2 years.  I made the 5 year 'survivor' mark.  I will be marching (likely riding a scooter) in Komen but not in pink and not in a survivor shirt but some other color - teal, purple and cream to support Metavivor - Stage IV Cancer Awareness and Research - as I am well aware of being one of the 'invisible' members of this disease - the terminal ones that die and don't have happy endings.  I will persist and endure all that I must in order to live another day - I am a warrior that fights from within the belly of the beast - in an effort to survive.

Ellie1959

I never really considered the whole impact of pink and how it obscures those who are fighting this "tenacious weed" - I just thought it was nice because of all of the awareness it brings. But now I see how it somehow trivializes the horror of what BC patients go through. I'm sad because I love Pink and the positive message but I hate the fact it has made it less significant. I don't think that was the intention to start with. And I hate the fact it is this huge money maker for those who jumped on the pink bandwagon and are getting rich off our suffering. There are way too many women and men out there who still lose the battle and way too many of us who will never be the same because of it - just sayin' Ellie

logied

VICTUM  is a better word. You do not need to be a male or female or have just breast cancer to be a victum on how cancer changes you, your life and how people who do not have cancer  treat you. I am  in 10 years of remission for two cancers and my everyday approach to life reflects my body versus my treatment and how the do  not have cancer family and friends treat me. I am a constant reminder by my changed life style because of my cancer. Also cancer fight means cancer treatment system and attitude fight, your condtion is the result. Survivor and cancer fighter are comfortable terms who do not have it and in human nature denial. CURE is also a overused word.

littletower

I always say I'm working on being a survivor. Because I do, everyday. So let's see, the acronym for that would be "WOBAS". Kind of like "kick ass", but not:)

Jelson

Maybe consider what the disabilities community is doing regarding how they define themselves:

people living with XXX disability

so how about I am a woman surviving breast cancer, I am a  woman living with breast cancer, somehow I am thriving with breast cancer sounds over the top, how about I am a woman thriving despite breast cancer.

It is always with us, but it doesn't define us.

Julie E

Texas357

Low Rider, my heart goes out to you. My boss has a good friend who has been Stage IV for more than 20 years. I don't know details but if there's one, there's room for another!

flyingfree

I'm awaiting surgery for a bilateral mastectomy, and am trying to 'make sense' of cancer in my life. Where am I so far?

I've experienced childhood sexual abuse, neglect, physical abuse, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, alcoholism, chronic depression, and the usual run of family problems. And now, cancer.

Just another f*ng learning opportunity?  Well yes, but also  another thread woven into the tapestry of my life. It's a big thread, large and  coloured red right now, but it will change colour and size as I go through surgery and follow-up treatment.  And, its importance will change as my life journey continues and it fits into the context of the rest of my life.

So, in my mind, I'm much more than a survivor of any of the above, including cancer.  I'm a woman living a complicated life, who has a  deadly disease (more acceptable by the way than depression or alcoholism), who's learning to accomodate this new passenger on my life journey.