Hello!

tlundy

I admit I have been one of the "lurkers" until now (posted once about a hair question but hadn't even provided my profile info at that time).  I am still coming to terms with my diagnosis, getting through treatment, and learning to live with the daily ups and downs, crying jags, etc., etc. I had a BMX 11/30, completed chemo on 3/24, started Lupron/Femara on 4/10, and have had two of 34 radiation treatments.  Even though I am still in active treatment, I am already struggling with ongoing fears of recurrence. I assume this is normal and nothing will make it better but my efforts to balance vigilance to my condition with getting on with enjoying life - still figuring out the formula for that .  Anyway, I figured it was time to introduce myself and thank you all for the huge amount of helpful information, supportive stories, and insights that I have benefited from as a silent participant to date!

SpunkyGirl

Honestly, after almost five years (yeah!!!) of walking this journey, I'm still trying to figure out how to balance my fears and trying to live.  I feel like the only difference (and it's been talked about here a lot) between us and those who haven't faced life-threatening illnesses, is that we no longer have that false sense of "nothing like that will happen to me".  But, I'm sure you've seen already that there is a huge support network of fantastic people here who really make this journey more doable.  I'm constantly amazed at the strength, wisdom and humor that is on display here daily.  It's what gets me through my bad days!

With what you are going through, when the days are really bad, if you can find any time for yourself (a nap, perhaps??), don't feel guilty about taking it.  I find that a good nap is the cure when I need to re-energize, and believe me, it's hard to follow my own advice. 

I'm glad you introduced yourself! 

Hugs

Bobbie

Let-It-Be

Welcome!  Well, I can only say, it does get better.  Just yesterday I was feeling a little odd, kind of like I'm wearing rose colored glasses because for the longest time, I just feel fine and normal (like before cancer...).  I am fearing 'horrible outcomes" a lot less. Maybe I'm crazy, but it's a helluva lot better than the place I was in ...kind of like where you are now.  One thing that helped me was learning about all the things I can do to reduce risks like exercise, vitamins, good sleep and whatever you can do to reduce stress.  When radiation ends, you will feel a little weird because the treatment arm has stopped, that's when you begin to take matters into your own hands and do what you can to take care of You.  Then, things just slowly get back to normal. You just live, laugh, and go on.

It does get better, hard to believe right now, but it does.

jennyboog

Welcome, glad you're not a "stalker" anymore   I'm right where you are and haven't found the balance yet either.  Like Bobbie said, we no longer have that false sense of security we once had and there aint one thing we can do about it except, put on our big girl panties and keep on keeping on.  I am better than I use to be but still keep up with aches and pains to make sure so the fear is still there.  I hope you find your new normal and soon feel that peace that we all need.  Come here often, we get it.

diana50

welcome* glad you posted and were able to talk about what is going on with you.  this forum is really very helpful; supportive, caring and a variety of newbies....people just finishing up treatment and oldies.  ( am an oldie...lol...)  lots of experience and great ideas.....good sharing of emotions and fears....and recovery experiences.  putting "out" your feelings...thoughts and emotions is very healing in and of itself.  finding out that you are "ok" just where you are helps too. 

 'new normal" is really a part of all of this; and it will change from time to time.  what has helped me the most over the years is 1. exercise  2. self-advocating for myself medically 3. taking one day at a time and not getting so far ahead of myself and in the "what ifs" 5. eating fruit and veggies 6. rest when i need to and when i can 7. acceptance.  acceptance in the truth that i had breast cancer; got great treatment...(did everything possible) and i am still alive and living each day.  when i am sad or mad....that is how i feel....and when joyful and grateful;...that is my truth too.

never give up. keep on* post often or PM people. many of us are on facebookl. you are not along and remember....,"you had and have WAY more healthy cells then cancer cells....surgery, chemo  rads and hormone tx will  get the rest." 

diana

tlundy

Thanks so much for the warm welcome and encouragement!  I have a wonderful support system in my family, but it is great to have a forum to share with others who are personally walking this path.  I look forward to learning more, sharing what I know and getting to know you all better.   Again, thanks for posting back - it made my day to dip my toe in the water and be greeted so graciously!

pupfoster1

Hi tlundy,

Glad you found us!  As I've said before to other ladies this place have helped me immensely during my journey, although I still have my ups and downs.

I hope rads are going well for you.  For me personally it was SO much easier than the chemo was.  Made it until the last week w/out any burns and even then they disappeared quickly.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Sharon

americanpinay

Hi,

Just want to add my welcome. Good luck with the radiation. I found it way easier than chemo. Just make sure you get some rest. There was one day during radiation that I felt so wiped out and very, very tired like never before. It must have been a combination of the BC diagnosis, surgeries, chemo and radiation. Anyway, you are almost done with treatments!

Take care.

joan888

Hello tlundy,  I haven't been posting much on the Stage III sites as I think that I am still coming to terms with my diagnosis and its been over a year already.  It took me a couple months after my BMX to get up the courage just to read through my path report.  I just wanted to hear it straight from the docs.  These discussion forums have given me so much consolation knowing that I am not alone with diagnosis and seeing all the great survivors...yeah!

So, apparently I have settled in to a remission and I am feeling great and will feel even better once I finish up the reconstruction project.  I recently took myself off the anti-depressant that my ONC prescribed for me while going through treatment and so far, so good.

Good luck to you on finishing up radiation.  I found the treatments themselves to be pretty easy, the daily trips got old very fast and I had to learn to pace myself when the radiation fatigue set in.  I remember one day driving over to radiation that I nearly pulled over to the side of the road to take a nap!  It can be hard, but cut yourself some slack and don't push it.  You can do it!

Romansma

I've been a stalker too since my diagnosis back in October 2010. Just finished chemo 2 weeks ago and willmstart rads in about a week. I've had great support from family and friends, but still feel that they don't really understand sometimes. It's so nice to read about others going through the same process.....having some of the same crazy emotions (and hotflashes).

NancyD

Getting back to "normal" can take some time. It's a new normal, too, so sometimes we don't realize when we've reached it. I found it when my dr appointments started to stretch out into every three months instead of every other week. I'm on an x4 months sched now...soon to become x6 months with my onc. I've stopped seeing the bs...there wasn't really anything for him to check since I had DIEP recon some time after my BMX. Having him feel my tummy boobs just didn't seem right.

So now I just see my onc and my gyn on a regular basis, which is almost normal. It's my new normal. I've put the thought of a recurrence in the very far back end of my mind. It only moves forward when my onc appt nears. There are no more scheduled scans...they will only happen if I have symptoms, so no "scanxiety" on a regular basis.

All those achievements will give you the luxury of concentrating on more normal things in your life and allow you to get back to living it.