I'm so sore, so devastated today. Pls help

Beaglesgirl

I had my dmx recon w TE on tues had complications. Needed a transfusion and sec on surgery for hematoma on lymph removal side. I came home Thursday.



Don't get me wrong I am grateful to be alive. Is it normal to feel this badly? To feel this hopeless? Geez I haven't even started chemo. I feel like a truck ran over me and then backed over me



They took 18 nodes 2 came back dirty.



When will I feel better? More Human? Less like death warmed over



Feeling very down right now...

TifJ

Laura- Sorry you are having such a rough time. Yes. it is normal to feel bad. I can't say how long it will be before you begin to feel better, but it will happen! I had a uni mx w/TE on 9-15 and by the time I started chemo on 10-28 I felt better as far as the surgery went. Now, you had a lot more done ( I only had 1 node removed) so I imagine it will take you a bit longer. Chemo will drag you back down some, but it is doable and some do very well with it. Please keep us informed on your chemo regime- there is always someone on the boards who have had or is having the same treatment. There is lots of help here- please visit the Calling all TNS thread-lots of good info there! Go slowly and let your body heal. Right now you have every right to feel down. Take Care!

o2bhealthy

(((((Laura)))))  Surgery hits everyone differently and with your complications and # of nodes removed, I am not surprised that your feel like a mac truck ran you over.   Add to that the emotional toll...  I actually felt pretty good the first few days home and then the numbing juice they packed me with wore off and ouch!  You have had major surgery, there has been a lot of trauma going on under the surface.  I took advantage of the full 8 weeks to recover.  With today being a holiday, it may be slow online.  Just wanted to send you a HUG and healing thoughts.

squidwitch42

Laura.

I will be back, I just want you to know I was sending you a prayer on another thread just before I saw your post.

you feelings are normal, and you have been through A LOT in the past week. Surgery is never easy, and you have had complications. I know I also get anesthesia "hangover" which adds to my emotional state after surgery. Please know you are being prayed for, and that we are walking with you.

and I see you have a lot of fight in you, because you are reaching out asking for help. Sending hugs over the www...

Love,

Traci

MBJ

I am so sorry you are feeling so down.  I didn't have as many nodes taken nor the complications but I did look and feel as if a truck ran over me!  The meds also don't help and contribute some to feeling awful.  It does get better!  I am now 1 year out from getting my exchange to implants and just had my nipple/areola construction.  It has been a long and exhausting 1 1/2 years (2 come September) but know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Come and join in on the Exchange City to get some support from others who are going through or have been through the same thing and also come to Breast Implant Sizing 101 to get some expert advice on proper sizing of implants for your body/shape.  If anything it will be a nice distraction from your pain and the support on these threads is tremendous.  Big gentle hugs to you!

leftfootforward

Hugs to you Laura.  I was just browsing the website and wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you. I am currently doing chemotherapy and will have my BMX the beginning of June.  Take the time to rest and heal.  We are with you.

Lisa1962

Beaglesgirl, I just wanted to let you know, Laura, that I will be thinking of you & praying for you as you recover.  I know what surgery & anesthesia do to the body and it does take a while to feel better.  As hard as it is, try to be kind to yourself & let others do things for you.  Take time to rest, relax & recover.  I am not normally one to sit, but after my hysterectomy I enjoyed taking it extra easy, allowed myself to nap in my comfy chair and asked others for help (none of those activities are things that I normally do!)  I once heard a dr. say that for every day you are in the hospital it takes a week to recover....That's not even talking about surgery.  I bet that each day you will feel a little stronger, but it is a slow process.  Please know that I am sending only caring, healing thoughts & wishes to you in MO from OH....Lisa

lago

18 nodes no wonder why you feel crappy. (I only had 10 on one side 4 on the other. 18 on one side must be tough).

The one thing about surgery is everyday you should feel a little bit better. They should be giving you pain medication to manage your discomfort. If they are not yell at them till the do.

As far as being tired, don't fight it. Healing takes a lot of energy. Be sure to get rest when your body asks for it. Also just being in pain can make you tired.

It gets better as folks have said but it takes a little time. Even in 2 days you will feel better than today. 

Beaglesgirl

Thank you for hearing my cries this morning. Seams that god heard me too, moments after I posted I heard from my family far away and it was uplifting... They had puppies last night and as my screen name shows that was enough to get me to stop sobbing until the meds kicked in.



I will do this, I may not do it with grace but but I will do this. My love to all of you! I've got to stay ahead of the crazy pain, it plain tweaks everything you believe in and that is the enemy here. My body can fail me but my mind and spirit have to stay straight.

BioAdoptMom3

I can't offer advice there because I only had a lumpectomy and re-excision, but after what you have been through I am sure your feelings are normal, but I am also sure you will emerge feeling better and stronger in time!  I know it probably seems like an eternity, but you WILL get there.  In the meantime we are here for you and my prayers are with you.  (((((GENTLE HUGS)))))

Nancy

Randi64

Hi Laura, I had my BMX with you on Tuesday. I too feel very uncomfortable,actually soreness is worse than I anticipated. I thought because others spoke of no pain, that would be the case with me too! I take Vicodan which helps only slightly. I am especially sore in the morning. I have 4 drains which are very annoying and sore around my skin. I can only imagine how you feel as they had to go in again, I am sorry you had to go through that! I hope that each day we will feel better and gain strength. HUGS Randi

dlb823

(((Beaglesgirl))) ~ Just sending you a cyber hug.  It's a rough time, and you just have to know that it will get better each day.  I'll never forget my sister-in-law's face when she walked into my hospital room 3 days post mast+Diep recon surgery.  I knew I felt awful, but I must have looked as bad as you feel, and I think it really scared her. 

But the good news is, our bodies have an absolutely amazing capacity to heal, and you will feel like a new woman once your drains come out.  Hang in there!  Do you maybe need a different pain med?  Whatever your BS or PS RX'd may not be agreeing with you, and something else might work better.    Deanna

Cyborg

I hope you feel better soon. Hugs. Take it very easy on yourself. Houbara in my thoughts.

Lisa1962

Beaglesgirl, Just checking on you late this evening & hoping that you are feeling just a little better.  Definitely stay on top of the pain....That truly is excellent advice.  Once it gets out of control it takes so much longer to get back on top of it.  Don't look at the pain meds as a cop out....You can't heal if you are in pain.  Sending only healing, heart-felt wishes to you from Ohio....Lisa

Cyborg

Beaglesgirl, hope you are able to have sone respite from the pain. And I hope you find some distraction from the pain too. I am thinking of you.

Bonnygg

Hang tough sweeties.

You've had triple whammies thrown at your mind & your body. Mental stress is just as exhausting as physical. It takes alot to mentally face the *C-word*. The drugs they give you for surgery mess with your emotions. Then as they wear off, the pain killers mess with your emotions. Now add drains and/or stitches and your emotions go in the dumper even more. Surgery drains your physical fortitude and makes dealing with the emotions even harder.

It's no wonder we all want to pull the blankets over our heads and not come out for days.

It's a long, long, long dark tunnel to walk through. But, it's doable. Just one hour at a time, one step at a time. If you want to stay in bed & cry all day, then do so. God knows I've done that more than once while fighting my battles.

Just know that you are not alone. We're all there with you and many of us have had the same problems/issues.

Stay in front of the pain. Pain killers are actually good for you. Our bodies have to expend alot of energy healing. It's tougher on our bodies to heal & fight the pain at the same time. Pain killers allow our bodies to concentrate on healing. We all know that moving helps us heal faster. When you are in pain, you don't want to move much and that's not good. So taking pain killers allows us to move around and that also helps us heal faster. I'm 6-weeks post BMX w/DIEP and I still take one or two pain killers every day.

The good thing is that all of this isn't hopeless. You have an huge arsenal of Drs & treatments to help you win the battle. It just seems like a mountain that's too big to climb right now. It can be done. Don't try to *eat the whole elephant in one bite*! Take it one small step at a time. When that step is done, then deal with the next one. Don't even worry about what the next step is going to be. There is plenty of time to deal with the next step.

So, take a big deep breath and let it out slowly. Repeat three times. Trust me, you will feel better.

Gentle hugs.

bonny

lisasweeney

You can and will get through this! You are strong, just hold on!

rondajean

had same surgery on 4/22.  I finally feel decent again  23 nodes with 6 positive.  Id love to keep in touch with you during this process.  I really think the pouches are causing much of my pain.  What do you think?  Im still sleeping in my recliner since it feels the best.  I look forward to getting these darn bulbs out! 

PS calling dr in the am to get all the details from path to post here.  I know stage 2 invasive ductal  diagnosis 3/14 

Maripili

Hang in there!  You will be ok!  XOXO

Katarina

BeaglesGirl....I had the same procedures, just ahead of you by 4/11.  What works for me is just staying in bed and sleeping all I want. I take the Vicodin every 4 hours and now on day 16 I'm feeling better enough and only need pain killer 2x a day.( My plastic surgeon expanded my TE's fully suggesting that the scar tissue and pain would be less and all at one time). I find when I"m sleeping I suffer less. And while I've always been super woman I'm really doing absolutely nothing now. I want this to pass faster so really just sitting, and taking baby steps. 

I hope you have family or someone who can wait on you. Please reach out to anyone if you don't. 

Hugs to you.

 This will pass too!! 

CandDsMom

Hang in here Beaglesgirl (((hugs)))

thinking of you 

D4Hope

It's normal to feel like a truck hit you because it pretty much did. Each day you will feel a little better. Just stay on top of the pain and be sure to get lot's of rest and fluids. I had a BMX with immediate reconstruction (Diep) I felt yucky for a few weeks. Hang in there.

Beaglesgirl

Logging in here when my eyes aren't aren't crossed with pain meds on board is the best in the world! You all all are the best. I go in for chest pelvis and abdomen ct scans in the morning. I could use prayers or good Vibes as I am shaking in my slippers .right now.



Good night all! Love and peace to you



Laura

TifJ

Laura, Praying all goes well for you this morning.

Lisa1962

Beaglesgirl, Just checking on you after your scans...Praying for good results.  Let us know how you are when you feel up to it....Sending good thoughts from Ohio to Missouri....Lisa