Mom getting a mastectomy - how can I help?

Bev123

Hello out there,

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer three weeks ago.  She found the lump in December and after a mammogram and needle biopsy, it was determined to be cancer.  I'm not sure what stage it is in.  Her tumour is about the size 3 cm and one lymph node also shows cancer.

She had blood work, a chest x-ray, and an MRI.  The surgeon says there is no sign of the cancer spreading as her blood work looks great and her MRI shows that that there is nothing in her bones.

She was given the option of a lumpectomy or a mastectomy and she choose the mastectomy.  They will also be taking out her lymph nodes under her right arm.

They will do chemo after this as a precautionary measure (is this normal?  I know that there is no such thing as "normal" per se, and I think it is probably a good plan).  Because this was the surgeon that talked to her, he didn't give her any info on the treatment length, she will see the oncologist after the mastectomy.

 Anyway, she is in really high spirits and she is one strong mama.  She is 64 but acts like she is 30 (she has more energy than me, her 28 year old daughter).  

Sorry for the long winded explanation.  It felt good to let that out though.  Anyway, I would like to know what can I do to help her?  What is the recovery like on mastectomies?  What can my family do to help her?

Thanks for listening.

hopeful34

I wasn't sure how to post this as a link, but if you go to the search at the top of the page and type this in (Shopping/packing/to-do list for surgery + recovery.... ) it will give you everything you need to know.  If you have any questions at all feel free to private message me.  Or ask on here.....you will get plenty of responses I am sure.  The women on here have been a great help to me and eachother.  I will keep your mother in my thoughts and prayers.  Take Care.  Allison

hopeful34

Lets try this another way....try this link  http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/91/topic/699896?page=9#post_1637844

hopeful34

Okay let's try this another way,  if you go to the top of the page (where it says jump to forum)  If you scroll down, there will be a section that says (Surgery - Before, During, and After).  This will have not only the thread I was referring to in the previous post, but alot of other answers for you.

Bev123

Thank you for the quick reply.  Bless you and Many thanks, Allison

bdavis

Chemo is the standard if it has spread to the lymph nodes... Chemo is insurance to combat rogue cancer cells that may have escaped... i am in the middle of it and I am glad I am... and I only had one node and the cancer was microscopic.

Can't comment on MX, as I haven't had one but plenty of women have. 

Your mom should be proud to have you reaching out for support... that is super!!!

Also, until the mass is removed, it is really too early to gauge its complete characteristics... MRIs and blood work (I think) can't show if its spread or not... you would need the pathology report for that... and even from an MRI, my mass looked to be 1.5cm, but reality was it was 1.9cm... and shhowed no lymph involvement which was false..

J9W

I had a mastectomy in August 2009.  I used a small pillow under my arm while in bed for a few weeks. That seemed to help a lot. Make sure she's got some loose shirts to wear and some comfy pjs....but not pull overs. I remember that lifting my arm was tough for a while.  I stayed home from work for two weeks afterwards however by week two I was able to work from home a few hours a day. During that two week period I think the only places I went was to see doctors - didn't have too much get up and go.

 I also remember how tight my chest felt afterwards. For instance, I remember getting in my car (weeks after the surgery) and trying to turn around to look behind me to back up....ouch. But, now I can do that without a thought - but I do remember way back when wondering if I'd ever be able to do it again. Also, wearing a seatbelt can be an issue so when you take her home bring a pillow or blanket to put under the seatbelt.

I needed help the first few times I took a shower afterwards too.

Oh, you may be able to get someone to come and clean the house for her.  There's a company that does that for breast cancer girls...try a web search for the topic. Or, maybe one of the others that comes along will remember what it is.

Give hugs and kisses and just be there for your mom.  

Braveheart

You're such a good daughter to try and understand how you can help your mom.

I'm 34 and had mastectomy 3 months ago. To this day I have some discomfort when I lift my arm but it's so much better than right after surgery.

After surgery I was sleeping on my back for about 6 weeks. i used a small pillow under my shoulder to relieve some of the pressure and had 2 pillows under my head. She shoudl not lift anything heavy for about 6 weeks. So do watch your mom:) She should also do her stretching exercises. I was wearing shirts with buttons or zippers. I also wore shirts with thin straps since I couldn't wear a bra. Make sure she has loose clothing. I wasn't able to lift my arm for a long time.

She will need help showering at the beginning. I allowed help for a couple of showers only. I really wanted to do it on my own. Do offer to help her at least to wash her hair and her back. She'll be moving slow so you can hold her under her other arm when she needs to get up.

Don't let her do too much. This is the time to help with the housework, cooking, dressing her etc. Give her lots of getle hugs and kisses:)

Fearless_One

Buy her a bunch of new pillows

Stock up groceries for her

Clean the house

Drive her to appointments

Offer to help in the shower, with her hair, etc.