Your Cancerversary: How do you figure it?

MRDRN

You know we celebrate, but i wonder what date our families think of...do they even remember?  Hummm

barbe1958

I guarantee our families don't know the exact day, but probably the month! They'll recal what was happening in their life "when they heard".

Annabella58

Hi Harley!!! How pretty you look!!

Great to see you!

I don't do "canciversary" as the dates are sort of a blur for me, and I'm happy with that.

As to all the controversy, hey whatever gets anyone thru it, beyond it, dealing with it, it's all good .

Every now and then I do say to myself "hey, I think it's been x amount of time", but I guess I'd rather focus on the here and now.  To each her own altho cake is a large incentive, I must say .

I don't call myself a survivor either; I say "veteran"...but that's just me and the way I dealt with it.

Hurray for all of us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love

annie

Blinx

My diagnosis took so long... got the call in June 2007, biopsies and MRIs in July and August, surgery in September, started rads in November and finally finished in January 2008.Too many dates.

But the date that I will celebrate like there's no tomorrow? Feb. 1, 2013 -- the first Tamoxifen-free day! It can't get here soon enough.

Rennasus

Whew who, I hear ya on that one, Blinx! My first Tamox-free date will be March 25, 2016. (But then I start on Arimidex. End date: 2021 OY!) Do u have any SE's on the Tamox?

AnneW

I don't know what to do about mine. I've had two different breast cancers. It's funny, but I can remember the date of the first one like it's engraved in stone (2/22/02) but I have to count 5 1/2 years ahead to figure out the second one...I guess the first one was more defining.

I, too, base it on when I was told. It was there for a long time, so my date is when I had to actually acknowledge it!

Rennasus

AnneW: Your first date is very memorable numerically! I'm not sure what I would do in your case either. You're right, "it" was there for a long time, and the "acknowledgment" date is a defining moment. Did you get ILC in the same side that you had IDC? Congrats on a Stage 1/Grade 1 diagnosis both times!

AnneW

Rennasus, The ILC was in the other breast. My gut feeling is that it was there at the time of my first cancer, but small and quiet. After I stopped Arimidex, it began to get to a palpable size. I am blessed to have had two Stage 1s. I mean, if I have to have cancer at all.

MRDRN

I guess I am a "date" person.  My family is not but then again, I feel like it doesn't matter as we are all respnsible for ourselves in the end.  I just got a postcard from the hospital for a Survivor Day in June.  I am going to go and know that it may be a very nice to celebrate!  Several workshops and the date is perfect...4 days before my immediate DIEP one year post op, but I had clear margins from the APril  initial dx biopsy.  Here's to survivorship!  Looking to see what my life will bring me next

jancie

I am like Blue Willows - I celebrate the last day of treatment - September 2009 (I can't remember the date - but it was the same day I flew down to Vegas for the 1st TaTa Sisterhood Reunion.  I just figure the end of September 2009 and count from there.

barbe1958

anniealso, I don't call myself a survivor either as I haven't survived anything yet! But I don't call myself a vertan either......hmmm. I guess I am just me, no label.

MRDRN, how can you have an 'immediate' DIEP if your surgery was last year? That caught my eye...

Fighter_34

Hello Fighters!

It was a scary moment. I was at the drive-through teller making a deposit when the BS called. I went blank and threw the money up in the air falling all over my husband (we aren't rich we was just paying the mortgage LOL). His statement afterwards I knew it was bad news because you never part with money (light humor).

I am 8 months out and I feel great. I am a little scared about the future but I am moving forward.

Remember everyone reacts differently. Let's keep pushing forward ladies. (((((((HUGS)))))))

Rennasus

MRDRN: I like that idea. Let us know how the event is!

JANCIE: What a great way to celebrate, with the ta-ta sisterhood! How many women attended?

Barbe: You are def. a survivor, you are here!! And funny too! ;-)

Fighter34: Thanks for making me laugh! That is a classic "when I got the news" moment. (Gotta keep our sense of humor with this beast or where would we be?)

Loving the stories ladies, keep 'um coming! ;-) 

nwest125

I think I will go with the day I got the dreaded phone call 9-21-10 I had just got home from work and was in the shower and my DH brought the cordless phone to me and she said "do you have time to talk" I wrapped a towel around me and very quielty listened and when I hung up the phone I dont think I quit crying the rest of the night. From that moment my life forever changed.

Nancy

barbe1958

I am so surprised that so many of you learned through a phone call. They don't do that in Canada normally. We have to be face to face with the doc for the news for support. My surgeon couldn't even tell me. I was chatting happily away and he finally said, "Don't you want to know the results (of the lumpectomy)?" When I said 'sure', he just walked over to me and literally showed me the bottom line : Papillary Carcinoma. "Take them off", I said. He had already booked the surgery for 6 days later. He knew I was serious when going through the testing (took from October 1st to December 10th to get the final word!) that if it was cancer, I was having a double mast.

Rennasus

barbe: unfortunately, hearing 'the news' in person seems to be the exception rather than the rule here in the states.

PS You and I have almost identical dates: I had my mammo on Oct 1st and got the final BC word on December 8th!

NatsFan

Barbe - my surgeon wanted me to come into the office to give me the results face to face, despite my specific request to call me the instant he got the results back in his office.  I did not want to wait for an office visit!!  He absolutely refused to call me, saying that he wanted to wait for the appointment (set for a few days later) so he could tell me in person.  I told him I was a big girl and would not cry, faint, scream or become hysterical, but he still said no.  We finally worked out a deal where I called him on the day the results were due back and, because I instigated the call and specifically requested the results, only then would he give me the news (over his objections).  For his patronizing attitude and for other reasons, I soon found my way to another surgeon!

I know many other people don't want the results over the phone, but I did, and I felt this surgeon should have respected my wishes about how I wanted to hear "the news".  

DivineMrsM

barbe1958, it surprises me also that so many women learn of bc over the phone.  The day I had my biopsy, I was scheduled to return in three days for the results given to me in person by the doctor who did the biopsy.  It is pretty much standard procedure.   And it was pretty quick.  She brought some ultra sound image or something on her computer of my breast, showed my husband and I the mass, looked at me and said, "it is malignant."  It did not surprise me, altho DH did start to tear up.  My gynecologist's office is directly across the hall from the mammogram office.  His procedure is to see his patients immediately when they are given a bc dx.  So DH and I went right across the hall and spoke at length with him.  He referred me to a Pittsburgh hospital and that's who I've been dealing with since. 

Harley44

anniealso

Thanks!  That pic is now a couple of years old.  I guess I should update it but I don't have a recent photo...

Good to see you again, Annie!  Haven't seen you in a long time.  I've been on Facebook mostly...

Barbe1958, I agree...  My surgeon NEVER tells you news, Good OR Bad, over the phone.  You are scheduled to come back in to go over the results.   Except for LAST YEAR, when they couldn't find my chest x-ray,  he had them call me AFTER my follow up appt. with him.  I got home and they called just as I was walking in the door!  It was all good, though...  and it's NOW been FOUR years!   Where DOES the time go??

Harley

ILMBeaches

Surgery date

Bren-2007

I count mine from the date of my surgery.

Bren

Rennasus

ILMbeaches and BinVa, that is what I do too. That is the date I got it OUT!

firebird

Apparantly I'm in the minority because the whole "cancerversary" concept is totally alien to me.



I had breast cancer, I dealt with it in the manner of my choosing, and from all indications I don't have it anymore. End of chapter. To me it was a specific medical blip on my life's radar (or "bump in the road" as another way of putting it), and I don't happen to think that my life's medical blips and bumps are worth memorializing.



I also don't utilize the word "survivor". Maybe if someday it is also applied to everyone who has had a heart attack, a stroke, or any of a number of potentially fatal conditions or medical episodes in the past and is still among the living... but I'm sure that will never happen because the cancer industry seems to have co-opted that word for itself.

MRDRN

This is a very interesting thread.   I am proud now to say I am one year post op Diep for Breast Ca mainly because I feel it was a HUGE accomplishment both on the part of myself and the medical team that treated me. 

Growing up in a "Breast Cancer Family"....where two sisters (My mom and aunt) died too young from the dx and invited to be BRCA tested by my cousin was the best thing for me.  It allowed be to plan and process a potential dx.  I still was shocked.  I also delayed the BRCA test til after my child was born and sure I would not have more kids.  I really did not want my ovaries out to prevent cancer!

Once I got on the bandwagon and decided to take more care of my health and get that first screening MRI (as opposed to the yearly mammo's) it was after the ooph for BRCA pos treatment.   THANK GOD I did!  If not, that little bugger would be still there this year and being fed by my estrogen all over the place! 

Now I am trying to loose weight.  I honestly think I look so much better than I did last year!  Perkier breasts, and a flatter belly (for me as I had a HUGE fibroid that always made be look a bit preg!) Dealing with the instapause, I hope will pass quickly too, although I understand it could take awhile   

I ended up not going to the Cancer Survivorship Yearly conference the hospital invited me too.WHY?  Frankly, I was at a family function very late the night before and totally forgot!  I guess this isn't the top of my list...I didn't  give BC too much thought that weekend....and it was my Cancerversary!   Now I celebrate during the whole month of JuNE!  I am glad we have that title because if it gets us more funding, recognition, whatever....it is ALL GOOD!  

MRDRN

Being told about results?
Gosh having the gene is totally different I think.  Since you have up to an 85% chance of getting it, it goes through your mind more I think if you are a "previvor".  That said, I insisted on getting into a Hopkins when I got the results of my first MRI.  My family doc who ordered it per my request, told me to follow up in a month to get a sono she is ordering.  I KNEW that Hopkins did things differently on their website and have worked there before.  I was so grateful they took me in before the end of the week.  (Just to get the BRCA test order from a doc is another story!!!.....I need an hour for THAT post!!!)  The Radiologist who did the SAME DAY biopsy after repeating the Mamo which was consistent with the MRI and did the US actually told me that day she thought it was cancer.  She asked ME to call her back in THREE days....I didn't since it was the weekend and wanted to give it a week and then she called me back on Monday (less than a week after the bx) and told me over the phone.  I was fine with that...finding out was a process....the worse was the initial MRI reading from the Family Doc...very insensitive lady...probably not liking the fact that I told her to order the test and then poo pooing the results....never heard from her again!  You have to take the bull by the horns and take care of your own health.  This is YOUR JOURNEY!    It would have been nice if the Family Doc said, come in to go over results...but frankly by the time she even got back to me, I picked up the MRI at the Radiology Center myself!!!!  They must have informed her of that fact cuz I was not going to wait until an office visit.  The Radiologist at the BREAST CENTER was very professional over the phone as she was in person.  I saw no need to drive up there to get results...however I did go in twice to talk to a surgeon who was the first available and I had many follow up calls....I am grateful for being one year post op and feel now that I am so impressed with how it all worked, particularly the Hopkins Breast Center.  Clearly they dx all the time ))   Ok....I am getting off my soapbox and I hope this post is helpful to someone reading .

Rennasus

I love how we are each are so unique in our experience with BC! Thanks for sharing yours, firebird and MRDRN.

How we were told we had BC by our doctors is also an interesting topic — that experience is forever seared in our hearts and our brains. 

MRDRN

Hey Barb

I just saw your question you posted to me.  I had an "immediate" diep in June 2010 after my breast bx.  I had the bi mx, after the SNB, and the Diep all in one surgery, as opposed to doing the "tissue expanders" and the delayed DIEP to "keep the pocket open"....this would have been more surgery and so forth.  Since Hopkins could not do it all in one at the time, I went to Mercy, Baltimore where they were able to accommodate me. 

I don't like labels either, but feel great to have survived the first year, and my understanding is that it is official after five years, right?

barbe1958

MRDRN, Yikes! I hate to burst your bubble sweetie, but there is no 'cured' when it comes to breast cancer. Has no one told you that??? That's why the pink runs and walks are all 'for the cure'. You will have breast cancer until the day you die. You may die of breast cancer or you may die of something else. But, you will always have the chance of recurrence over your head. In fact, the fact that you are ER+, as I am, means we START to worry more at 5 years!! ER+ cancer is slow growing, which means we are in MORE danger of a recurrence AFTER 5 years.

I don't mean to scare you, but you really should be aware of the true facts. 5 years mean NOTHING when it's ER+ breast cancer you're talking about. I've been on these boards for almost 3 years and it's the stage I and II gals that flip over to stage IV a lot more than the stage III gals!! You must be ever vigilent. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you really have to know.

lago

My BS goes by the day I had surgery (did this before chemo). It's the NED date as he explained it. August 31st is my 1st cancerversary.

barbe1958

To those who are confused as to wonder why we 'know' this date.....it's not to break out into a party or go out and splurge on a dinner. It's just another milestone to tick off in your brain as the years pass. Not a big deal. It's just a date, you don't have to be so defensive about 'pretending' not knowing when it was....