INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Wren44

Nettie, I hear you on the back pain. Tell them you need a scan for peace of mind. If it's OK, ask for physical therapy. I've been having back problems which everyone says are muscular. I think the surgery may have affected my posture. Mine doesn't hurt all the time, but when it hurts it's intense. I'm taking tylenol and ibuprofen alternating today. If you're crying a lot perhaps an antidepressant would help you get out of the pit.

FierceBluebird

Ziggy, that's what you get for giving the finger so much. Unless it is your index finger and then it's because  you were pointing fingers at Chevy. She doesn't like that. Probably stomped on it with her stiletto. I hope you had it xrayed and splinted. Ouch!

Holeinone, thank you and good luck tomorrow. I'll be in your pocket.

So nice to see the three good-time girls together!

Vinnie, thank you for the uplifting sentiment.  I've had my fierce bluebird wings at the drycleaner all week and have been feeling a little vulnerable. I love the "little blue life!"  Thank you and happy anniversary! My husband and I just celebrated 25 years and went to St. Michael's, MD. for a quick getaway. Sounds like we've both been  blessed to find our soulmates. ( I won't mention this to Chevy or cammi.)

Nettie1964

Thanks Wren, not crying a lot, it's just when it hits, it hits!  And my back pain is also intermittent and so far has not interfered with my sleep!  However, over the last couple of weeks, I have been awakened by hip pain that goes into the leg down to my knee, however, I have had sciatic issues in the past that were very similar to this!

I'm have been referred by my MO to my PCP who said to keep going to the chiro and massage, which I started on my own!  The chiro has backed off and now I just have weekly massage and see the chiro about once every 3 weeks unless something new arises!  They all say that my back issues were caused by radiation which caused scar tissue which is wreaking havoc!  I just don't understand it all, but I've come to the conclusion that I should have been in some kind of OT or PT therapy for this while I was still taking radiation to prevent the scar tissue from building because now it is VERY painful to have this massaged in order to try to release it!

I just told my husband the reason I don't PUSH for the scan is because I'm not sure I'm ready to handle more bad news!  

Just hoping to wake up one day and realize that the pain is gone!

Teka

Nettie,

Maybe time for a scan, but make sure correct scan for wherever you are hurting.

I've known members that got scans that didn't show *clearly* the specific area that was hurting.

I a few months after the last BC treatment in March 2011, *had a sore butt* & convinced *bone cancer*, but MO told Me to stretch out in a bed not in the recliner!   No scan, OK!

Scar tissue is painful.

Here a Pain, there a Pain, Everywhere a Pain-Pain!

*Hugs*

Nettie1964

Teka,

That is one reason that I hesitate to start with the "scans"!  It seems that it takes a multitude of scans to determine exactly what is going on!  This one shows this but can't rule out this so we need to this and then that ruled out this but shows this so let's do this and so on and on and on!  Just not a cycle I want to ride!  But I know at some point it is going to become inevitable!  

JWoo

Hi everyone!

Just popping in to remind everyone that Today is National Healthcare Decisions Day. Have you talked to your loved ones about what you would like done in case there ever comes a time when you can't speak for yourself? And talk to your friends and families about what they would like as well. I know most of us have their ducks in a row, but I've seen first hand what can happen when people of any age and without written instructions have an accident that prevents them from providing direction in their care and for their family. I know it isn't a fun topic, but it is something that is important for everyone, no matter what their health is, to take care of. 

camillegal

OH Teka see how different pain is for everyone, I can not sleep in a bed, the laying down is so painful and getting up is bad, so I always sleep in my chair thingy. I guess it depends on exactly where or how it hurts. I don't know Nettie it seems like so many of us have some type of back problems and not cancer ?????? And I think some men are afraid and don't get it at all.

I remember my dad, sometimes before surgery my mom would fix dinner and excuse herself and go in teir bedroom and my dad would follow--she was scared but didn't tell us or show us at the time for my dad to miss a meal was big time, but he just stayed with her, he didn't know what to do, but I knew later he was trying to help her and when I was an adult we talked about it finally--he was so good I think I thought all men were like that and my dad wasn't worried about house stuff he could do it and wasn't fussy at all my mom was so he was not demanding and totally did so much each hospital stay--those days it was at least 7 days and her recovery time again longer than now. So every man just reacts differently. It's hard to say what each one will do. I'm rambling again, as usual.

Chevyboy

I know....  We just recently paid for the cremation services....  It was such a hassle, because DH just didn't want to HEAR about it!  But I had to deal with this with my Grandma, and my folks, and they had ALL taken care of this beforehand...thank God! 

So I made the appointment, and DH finally gave in, and we went to "the place"..... the dreaded place!  But it was really fun!  DH made the gal laugh, got us coffee, and made it very impersonal and painless!  So it is done... about $1,300 a piece!  Not the $7,000 they want for a funeral and burial!  We have our living will...  Also, if you do kick the bucket at home, you don't have to call 911 or an ambulance.... Just call them!   Our Daughter's can put us wherever they want.... I just want to be together... even with Lacee... 

You know, when you are older, I think, like with my Grandma, AND folks,  everyone else has usually past anyway!  And a big funeral is just so heart-breaking for the family...   So with my Dad, he was cremated, and instead of a big service, we had a graviside memorial, and it was very sweet, and simple, and he was laid down beside my Mom...  THEN my Brother and I, and Dad's old friend, went to Cliff's.... this bar my Dad loved, and we all had a toast to him...  It was perfect...   I had just lost Mom the year before, and by this time, your heart is just broken, and any way you can get through the pain, is such a big help.  

Had to put their house up for sale, clean everything out, with a "neighborhood giveaway."    To see all their "stuff" being taken away was just the worst.... but it really helped my Brother and I....  We left after 2 weeks total, driving across the SFOAB into San Francisco at dawn to beat the traffic...   I couldn't have done it without my Brother...

So, yes....  any way I can make it easier on my Daughters', I have done...   Still want to get rid of a lot of stuff that we don't use, around here...Ha! 

Cammi, it's okay if you ramble.... like I never do.....!  Like now, for instance.... at least I know what I'm talking about....  sometimes...  That was pretty GOOD, about how I got my name!  Ha, ha!  And it even made sense...  But it wasn't the BACK seat, it was only the front!    Little brat!  SURE, like you didn't know a thing about what was going on.... right?    Oh, those were the years...  but I married him, about 1 1/2 years later... 

Nettie...  I just wish you peace....  don't cry.... if you can't find it around DH, go take a walk... go sit in your bedroom, and lock the door...  go shopping at WALmart.... anything to get your mind back on something else....   I think we ALL have been in your shoes.... I have!  Only I hate those stilletto's! 

Teka

Holeinone

Teka, ...

Chevyboy

Oh MAN Teka!  Geez!  I was almost getting ready to blush!  Ha, ha!  I thought, OH NO she DIDN'T!!!!  And you didn't!  Close, but, nope, you didn't...

I've heard that so many times that I just ...... oh wait.... never mind....

JWoo

HAHAHAH! awesome Teka!

Anonymous

Thanks for the laugh, Teka!

Teka

vinniemyers

Stacylee... damn girl... nice house....what a great place to start a family and live a long life.... looks like decades of fun!!

Bluebird... Last time i was in St.Michaels was in december for a wrestling tournament with my son at the high school. It was the last tournament he will do as a high schooler... sad but still fun.... wrestling is over for him now as he will move on to college and other things. I will miss it tho. St. Michaels is a beautiful place... GREAT oysters!!! Good for the sex life!!!! Yeah you heard it Chevy and Cami... oysters all around!!!!    OH and the blue bird sighting was for real.

Teka... WOW .... really? wait... toilet..... nevermind!

Chevy.... forgot about the barn.... damn... too much tequila.... or something.... or maybe you should do something to make it worth remembering..... OUCH!!  Just kidding I really was drunk and its a bit foggy or something. 

I will probably be back on tonight.... It is only 9pm for gods sake and I do not see me getting to sleep before 1 or 2. I had a hard day today ... its kind of hard to explain but some days it is tough when I see ladies that have not had the best surgical results and it gets really hard to try to explain that what they have had done isn't what can be done.... I am walking a fine line everyday trying not to hurt feeling and in the same breath trying to do good by telling them something can be done to make them look and feel better about themselves. VERY hard to do without hurting feeling or making them feel they do not look the way they should... or can. Sometimes I hate this and sometimes I love it. Wish there was an easier way .... until then... it is what it is and I have to live and deal with it. I will figure out a way to let everyone know what can be done BEFORE they have surgery .... then we can all be on the same page before something is done that cannot be corrected. .. Sorry to bother you all with this but it weighs on me..... sleep tight.... I will be back later....

 V

Spookiesmom

Good one Teka!!!!

Teka

Spookie,

I posted the *good one* by mistake on *The Hermit Club* thread, but did delete.

camillegal

Oh Vinny u's so sweet.

Teka

Teka

Remember the old *Insert emoticon* used in the way back prior posts.

Well, example------------has been replaced with the word *wink*.

Old faces have been replaced with words.

Happened during the upgrade.

Blessings2011

Vinnie - doing the kind of work you do can be emotionally exhausting. It's not a whole lot different from being a counselor.

It can be incredibly rewarding, motivating, inspirational, joyous, all of those things.... yet still, with each woman you restore, I don't think you can help taking on some of those raw emotions you know are there.

Either they come out physically in front of you, or they are hidden just below the surface, but you still know they are there. And being the sensitive guy you are, you recognize those feelings and acknowledge them.... AND take them on yourself whether you realize it or not.

For those women who have been through the wringer and have come out on the other side, alive, but with botched recon jobs, that must be the worst for you. I know your heart has broken for some of the things you have seen...

Those of us fortunate enough to belong to the Picture Forum have seen the absolute worst outcomes ever ... but with knowledge, faith, courage, and patience, those women have persevered in order to end up with new results that are just beautiful.

Like you, I wish that this could be so for every woman who goes through bad breast reconstruction. Sadly, until there is a huge shift of awareness on the part of breast and plastic surgeons everywhere, bad outcomes will still take place, and be scoffed at by insensitive and unskilled practitioners.

I don't know what the answer is, but I am becoming VERY verbal at my hospital (Kaiser) and have become friends with my Oncologist (who is not only the Chief of the department, but also oversees and manages a majority of the physicians on staff), as well as the Oncology Social Worker, and the Nurse Navigator - all three of whom are perceptive and assertive young women. I like to think I am making progress.

Back to you, The Vinmeister.... Keep doing your masterful work. Keep educating those who are clueless. Keep giving back to women what cancer has taken away.

But also take time to recharge YOUR batteries, renew YOUR spirit, refresh YOUR body. (Like on the plane? Put on YOUR oxygen mask first before you help others?) Emotionally-charged jobs can lead to burnout unless we take care of ourselves first.

I know. I've been there, done that. I'm a retired counselor. 

God bless you for all that you do!!!!! 

JWoo

Loving to see all the photos from everyone here! so nice to be able to visit, enjoy your kiddos, and do some crafting.

Vinnie- ditto on what Blessings said. You've go to take care of yourself to continue to care for your clients. Happy anniversary to you and your lady!

Zig- please tell me you went to a dr for that finger. I almost passed out looking at it. (i'm a wuss)

Chevy, I always find western attitudes about death so strange. Better to prepare than leave your friends and family in the lurch. Glad you finally got your DH in to take care of bizzznazzz. I am just learning out to knit, hopefully I will be able to post a finished project by the end of the year!

FBB- Happy Anniversary to you and your DH! Glad to see you seem to maybe be feeling better. 

Holeinone, I'm in your pocket with the rest of these noisy gals. The techs may be wondering where all the noise is coming from. 

Nettie- get that scan! the sooner you know, the sooner you can either relax, or prepare. Right now you are worrying yourself into unhappiness. The sooner you can get it done, the more peace of mind you will have. 

Wren, how are you? doing well, i hope. 

Cam- were your peppers a success?

Alyson, are you feeling all right these days? How is the weather where you are?

Stacy- great house- adorable family!

Spookiesmom- I love that you have Spookie on your teeshirt!

Smartypants- How's your world?

Where is Sasafras? 

Hope everyone is sleeping well tonight!

Chevyboy

Yes Stacee! Beautiful house little Sweet Pea!  AND family!  How lucky you are.... a NEW house!   I remember moving in THIS house, in 1964... It seemed so luxurious to me...!   A new carpet even!  I just laid flat out on it, and thought I was in heaven....  Congratulations!

I love my house even more today...  lots of memories, and fixed up just the way we like it! 

I'm thinkin' I don't like oysters Mr. Vinnie!  You go ahead though.... And I'm almost SURE Cammi doesn't like them either...  I like stuff like Lobster and King Crab Legs, and Spam!  

And are you guys talking about Blue Birds or Blue Jay's?  I've only seen Blue Jay's around here, and they are the LOUDEST guys in the block, except for maybe Crows!  They even terrorize CATS!

I don't even like Tequila, I don't think...  !  But I DO like White Russians, and Bocce' Balls!   You forgot the Barn Incident...???  Damn!  So did I actually.....  I think you forgot because you climbed up on that ladder into the hay-loft, and went SAILING out that door screaming  something about  you'll never be the same....  It's when you fell on your head!  So not surprised you can't remember!  Next time, wear a helmet...

Vinnie, you are doing what you can....  You have to just let go of some of the things that bother you,  like Blessings said...   You can't "fix them all"....  No matter how much you want to, some things are just out of your hands...  But the work you do, is helping so many women!  They are all grateful for knowing you...

And that's the last time I'm being serious with you....

Morning JWow!  I think we think differently because at least I am older! And we have been through it all, helping our past loved ones rest forever...  And it's how you grew up....  How you were raised going to big funerals, and tons of food and drinking afterwards... and just going through that "mourning" forever, it seemed like! 

We can "celebrate life" every day...  It's just such a tragedy, though, losing someone who hasn't had a chance to "live".... someone like a child, or younger people!  Then there is no way to ease that pain... 

I don't know how families get through it...    Or when cancer takes someone you have loved... 

So I can talk about cremation and that stuff, because I HAVE lived life, and sooner or later, like my Grandma said, we are going to "kick that bucket'....   Okay, so now let's talk about chocolate cokes, or something!

Those Hooligans must have worn the Sass out!  She has been laying low lately!  You okay kiddo?

dutchiris

Good morning, everyone!  

Welcome back, Vinnie.

dutchiris

I live in a very old house but it's mine.  My kids grew up here and there are lots of memories.  I do love to look at photos from houses that are for sale.  We moved alot when I was young and even lived in FL for a while.  I lived in three houses that were newly built and also some old ones.  I went to 10 different schools before graduating.  I was a good student but shy and nerdy.  

Ziggy, did you get that finger looked at?  Did it turn colors?  Ouch!

Chevy are you telling us the sky was falling on Vinnie's head?  Or did it have something to do with that frying pan trick?

I have a six month appointment with the rad onc this morning.  So many appointments with the different doctors.  I'm not particularly worried about anything and that worries me, lol.

FBB....got those fierce wings back from the cleaners yet?  I don't believe your fierceness was confined in or derived from those wings but they are simply stunning on you.

Anonymous

Chevy, love the scarves!  I'm wearing the ones you sent to sassy.  I think they sort of soften the. Sargent Carter' look that I have going on.  

BTW, I love oysters.  Chevy you should stay away from them with your current physical infirmities.  Canes, walkers and rock star sex games do NOT go together.  Which reminds me...need to check on my drummer finally moved out of my house and rejoind his band.  I haven't checked on him since I've been traveling.  I TOLD him I couldn't commit. Criminy!

P

ps - sassy is resting and I'm off to the Kennedy Space Center.  Need to pick up an astronaut to replace the drummer.

Nettie1964

Now that dutch has mentioned, I just noticed that I have NOT had a followup with my RO!  Do I need to do this?  What exactly do they look for that wouldn't be checked by my surgeon or MO?  Just curious as to why my RO has not requested a followup!  Maybe this is not the correct thread for this but I'm sure you ladies will at least have some opinions!

Nettie1964

Phgrahm, I just noticed your DX line, you got diagnosed twice within less than two years??  What treatment did you have the first time and what did you have the second?  That is if you don't mind sharing!

sas-schatzi

Hi ....phylyo just went to the space center. Spookie good pic LOL, no makeup and didn't comb hair.

Chevy the scarves came and they are LOVELY Thank you sooo much

To all: The hypothyroid state created by no thyroid and then the low iodine diet IS WORKING LOL  The Goal for TSH is 30. RO's office just called me back just now, mine is 69 as of TUES. So, probably much higher today b/c I have the " hit by a truck feeling". LOL    Very happy about the high abnormal. The high abnormal gives the RAI 131 more of a chance to do it's magic.

Nettie, I, in no way mean to diminish your feeling(s) about all this shit, But you are on the cancer train. that stops a every byway of the land, instead of streaking on to the destination we have set, Which is to be with NED. This is your new normal which of course, we know to be F**ked up. It's a train we can't get off of, to change to one that does go express to NED. 

What I've learned is to allow a short period to be angry, cry, scream. Then push it aside, and seize the good. Otherwise, your unhappiness will rob you of life if you let it. CARPE DIEM. 

I'll bring back what I wrote after the brain surgery. The words when I wrote them helped me think F**k You Cancer, they help me now. I hope they help you.

APRIL15TH 2012 WRITTEN AFTER CRANIOTOMY (brain surgery)

-the other thing I learned from the crainiotomy. Cancer WILL NEVER TAKE MY PEACE AND CONTENTMENT AGAIN----EVER. Whatever may happen in this life, I will not EVER give it that power AGAIN. It robbed us, as a thief, of 3 years of our lives. Cancer may try to be a thief again. I may ultimately feel cancers hatred again. It may kill me, but it will never be let into my soul and spirit again.

Nettie1964

Thanks SAS!!  I agree with you completely!!  And that's exactly how I handle it, when I feel the need, I get angry and sometimes cry, but it by no means consumes me!!  And on days like today, when my back is not acting up, I almost forget!!  

I was told yesterday, that eventually this back crap will/should disappear and then it won't be a constant reminder!    Until then, I will just move forward, living life, enjoying my kids and grandkids, working, and getting a laugh from the ladies here!!  

sas-schatzi

Nettie, If you notice I have no treatment or diagnosis in my bio line. Two reasons. Taken off when our "material" from "OMG THEY FOUND A CURE FOR STUPID" thread started appearing on Facebook. Then I found( and most importantly so). I wasn't dwelling on the things that cancer had done. I had control, I could as I said earlier ---push it aside. When I post, those negative words aren't staring back at me with every post I write. Very liberating.

Then I came across "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out shouting "holy crap....what a ride" 

I saw that phrase and thought that's what I wan't the rest of my life to be. 

I avoid as much as possible reading others bio's b/c when I did, it caused me to dwell on the bad things that happened to them. It interferes with just enjoying or commiserating with THEM. What's different with that is, I was living in their moment, by not defining them by a list of words which I did, previously, define them.

You've asked Phyilly about her dx etc.Obviously, she and I have become close. It was b/c of BC. We do talk cancer stuff. But we talk of much more. We laugh allot. The cancer stuff is in the background. We talk of the ups and downs. Then we move on to the better things.

ASK PHyilly about her art. Ask her about her passions. Ask her about her character. Ask her about CASA. Ask her about her triumphs. Know those things. They are what define her. Cancer does not define her. It's changed where she was headed, but it hasn't stopped her from directing where she's going.