INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

jaymeb

Mags

I just now saw you were married a little over thirty years. Sorry about that. It's hard to remember everything I read, even if it's a day ago. I hate how tamoxifen affects my memory😒😒

Wren44

The first person to tell me about not using the mx arm was a nurse after my surgery. It was so late in the day, they kept me in the observation ward overnight. It's true that you can get lymphadema any time, but I think it's more likely to be soon after.

Jaymeb, I hope your pain doesn't last long. I know what you mean about vicodin only taking the edge off.

JunieB

Jaymeb - I had my mastectomy at age 31. I only had minor issues with lymphedema for the next 24 years, but once I started treatment for my MBC, the lymphedema increased. my right arm is a little more than double the size of my left arm. The BS took 25 lymph nodes when he did my mastectomy. Why I do not know, especially since they where all negative. I also get swelling in my chest and underarm. I go to a lymphedema therapist every once in a while and should wear my compression sleeve, but the thing is so uncomfortable I conveniently forget to put it on. I have also had 2 bouts with cellulitis in that arm as well. It's always something!

I have found that I need to continually remind the medical staff, nurses, etc over and over that they cannot use my MX arm for BP or needle sticks. Most are good about following my wishes, however I have had some nurses, usually the younger & newer ones that will say "oh it's ok" and then they get my stink eye and a tone that makes them re-think their approach. Apparently, these days BS's only remove a few lymph nodes in their patients and maybe they are less likely to experience a problem. I don't know for sure though.

I am glad your surgery is done and hope that the pain will subside soon!

Blue - At the corner of my apartment there is a blue hydrangea that is very pretty but because it is so large it interferes with the sidewalk access into my front yard, so I am hoping to find someone who is willing to dig it out and take it. I might have one lady who wants it. She said she'd get back to me when the weather gets better, so we'll see if she follows through.

Loverly - Was there any conversation at lunch about Chance & Gus Gus? If so, how are they doing?

Ok, off to bed for me. A friend and I are taking the bus to Portland in the morning. It's supposed to be really raining tomorrow. Yucky!

Goodnight to All!

kathindc

Junie, if the lady doesn’t take the hydrangea and you can’t find anyone else to take it, have you thought of some creative pruning of the bush. I live at the top of a cul de sac that has no houses so it is filled with bushes and plants. Years ago some bushes were planted close to the curb. If I park in that area my passengers end up in the bushes. A few years ago I got fed up with them and now cut them back every year. We have several houses that plant flowers right up to the curb which makes it hard to get out of vehicles. I wish people would use common sense when they plant bushes, plants and trees. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a gardener but when I plant anything I think ahead to how big it could get and take that into where I’ll put it. We have one house whose hedge has taken over 3/4 of the public sidewalk and another house whose hedge is taking up about half the sidewalk. They haven’t done anything when approached so it’s time to get the city involved.

Anonymous

We planted a blue hydrangea over Lacey's grave. Last year there were several flowers. So beautiful. For SAge and Blossoms grave sites wee had a lace hydrangea and some huge flat rocks, very pretty.

Lacey

Today I tried to eat and couldn't more than a few bites. Then I got to craving really good chicken wings. I gave up meat 2+ weeks ago. But I said I really want them now. Hubby went in one place at lake and came out w unseasoned and cooked on the grill wings, dry and gross. I will give them a bad review for these, worst chicken ever. Who owns a place to serve food and does this and gets away w it? why?! So we drove 10 miles to next town w lake nd he came out of that place w wings that are really chicken tenders and baked, no seasoning but at least breading. I am going to cook them in sunflower oil and use salt and garlic powder to make them edible later. So I called the pizza place and their wings are oven baked too so no, just no. Chicken wings are guilty pleasures. Seasoned / marinated, breaded then slow cooker or deep fried and juicy in a sauce like buffalo or bbq. I am still searching. Meantime, Hubby bought me an old fashioned chicken pot pie like my mom used to bake on those nights we were home alone or sick. The little round single serving. Going to try to eat that now, seems bland enough. But messing w my cravings like this is just not acceptable.

We met our nephew and niece for brunch this morning. They are the highlight of our month right now, each month. Talk for 5 hrs and meet again next month.

I am telling my attorney that this pain dr I have to see for the firm's request on th e6th is the last dr call. Anyone else, including him. will have to journey to our home to see me. I am done. I have things to do and that is not on my bucket list. Yesterday my social worker w hospice / palliative was here, good talk. She's right. I am in charge now. It is all about me and what can I squeeze in that are priorities to me.

So people, get ready for some stories because I have a lot to get done.

Yesterday I called my neighbor who is a friend. We had not connected for 18 months since Xeloda stole my life last year to December. I plan to pick her up then let her drive around the area getting photos and surveying our countryside like we used to do. Last outing we went to MoonTree Studios for an art display. Times before we found wildlife and sunsets.

I am reconnecting w people I have missed in some way. Next my friend Virgina from MI.

Recovery time after outings is usually 3 days down and it is hard to accept. But once I realized it and that I have been pushing too hard to be back on the road the next day it made sense. Doesn't mean it will always be like this but when / if I get better as something is working then I will only do so if I am getting the rest I need so my body has the enrgy I need to heal.

Anonymous

Blossom on Papa's shoulders.

And Sage in fridge

sas-schatzi

hi,on kindle,computer broke since Sat. Lovely postings. Hugs

Loveroflife

Oh Ms. Sassy, you beat me to it. Have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off....eek, that sounds kind of violent.

Queenie, I was supposed to relay the message to you that Ms. Sas' computer is down and she is having a team of computer techs working to hopefully resolve the problem. She is lost without her computer.

Ms. Sas, time for a new one?

Jaymeb~ I thought about you the other day. Glad to hear surgery went well, but sorry to hear the lift side is causing you pain. I have read that the pain is worse with breast lift. How is the pain compared to mx?

Junie, Sensi lost Chance the day prior

JunieB

Loverly - I am SO sad to hear about Chance! How is Sensi dealing? So heartbreaking.

There is a man that I see on the bus every now and then, and on Monday I saw him again. I asked how he was doing and he just broke down into tears because he had had to put his 18 year old cat to sleep that day. I felt so bad for him. I know how attached we get to our furry family members.

Kathindc - That hydrangea was planted there by a previous tenant, who knows how long ago. It is up to my chest in height and as I said before, it blocks part of the sidewalk.

I am NOT a gardener. I have 3.5 houseplants that I have managed to keep alive for 7-8 years. My absolute favorite flower is a Lilac. My previous apt. has a white Lilac w/ a pink tinge. Absolutely gorgeous. The yard in front of my last apt. was totally weeded and neat & tidy. The new tenant has let it go to ruin since she moved in last August, plus she has stuff piled all over the yard, not to mention the poop from her dog. Her health isn't great, but she has a freeloader son who lives with her and he does absolutely nothing. Grrrr!

Now on a brighter note. I have a batch of brownies in the oven right now and the aroma is amazing.

Also, speaking of Lilacs, I found a new quilt pattern and the fabric used in it has gorgeous Lilacs all over it. I am nearly salivating over the quilt, however I already have enough fabric, so I am restraining myself for now.

Jaymeb - How are you doing today? I hope you have been able to get some sleep.

Blue - Your plan to get the things you want to done sounds like a good plan. A friend & were supposed to go to Portland today, but I was up numerous times last night and weakness/pain in my right leg has been really limiting me.

Wren44

I think you could hack a hydrangea back to the ground and it would come back. For sure, if the woman doesn't want it, whack it back to the edge of the sidewalk. I remember reading an article about forsythia. The writer is a pruning expert with an organization called Plant Amnesty, which tries to keep people from pruning stupidly. Her conclusion was that forsythias are so strong just do it when your pruners are sharp.

I'm sorry to hear about the man's cat. A woman studying counseling started a Pet Loss Support Group at the shelter after losing a beloved dog. It meets once a week on a drop in basis. I was the facilitator one day and got to watch 2 grown men console each other about losing their elderly cats. Very sweet.

Loveroflife

Awww

Loveroflife

Junie, Sensi is trying to keep busy with work to help distract her from her sorrow. Poor thing.

Peppy said she might drop in to say hi.

Ms. Smaarty is around. Hah!

queenmomcat

Lover: (amused) Thank you for relaying the message.

Sassy: my sympathies. How old is the computer? (It was your sister who bought the new one, right?)

magdalene51

Sas, if you’re still lurking, I apologize for not calling. I overdid it and am paying the price. My lender needed our 2016 tax return, and DH had filed for an extension (actually 2) and had the poor taste to die right as it expired. Hmph. Once again leaving me to clean up his 💩. Cousin and I spent the weekend digging through paperwork and found everything except his w2. So I had to have his company get me a copy, and they were up to their eyeballs in payroll on Monday, which is when my appointment was to get them done. So I ended up having 4 appointments in 2 days, with a trip downtown to IRS to drop off the 2016 returns and have them stamp my copy as received for my lender. But the good thing is that i got 2016 and 2017 done and will be getting a substantial refund, which will come in handy as closing day approaches.

So that was Monday and Tuesday, then Wednesday we had inspections on the new house; my sister went with me and we took my chair so I wouldn’t need to walk (and with stained concrete throughout, so easy to get around!) and of course Rose went along. DS took her outside and around the perimeter so she could mark it as her own - she seemed to know! Well it was her third visit so she may be getting the idea.

After all that I’ve been feeling kind of puny, and my lungs are kinda rattly so i’ve taken some Mucinex just in case I’m trying to come down with a URI, which is my norm when I get worn out. It didn’t help that for 3 days I talked more than I have all year! Talking just makes my lungs hurt. I can’t seem to make my other DS understand this, she texts me at 11pm and wants to call and talk. And I just can’t. Plus she’s deaf as a post so I either yell or she’s saying What? And I have to repeat myself. I lose patience.

My first bottle of CBD oil arrived today so we’ll see what that does.

If y’all promise not to drool I might post a short video of the new house. But you gotta promise. Remember it’s my dream house.

Love to all.

Anonymous

ack on computers. If this one died I don't know what I would do though. I'm using an ASUS laptop w a huge monitor and wireless keyboard hooked in. So the laptop is away and behind me, less rays exposure I suppose.

I understand Pizza Hut has read wings and the best in the area. Or Wings n Things in Plymouth. hmmm, will check it out. But really makes me disappointed in the privately owned establishments. Though the firecracker shrimp salad at one place is calling me now. I want something badly then get 3 bites and cannot eat more.

Bills figured out for month are done, bills for the 1st two weeks of month are done, menu for 2 weeks done, protocol outlined.

Got up at 11:20. I did not look at self in mirror all day. Brushed my hair while sitting on the toilet. This afternoon I look like the raccoon that was bopped in the eyes. What's up? Got 11 1/2 hrs sleep.

and crossposted for shats and giggles.....

Hubby got the "You are in denial, sir." speech this afternoon. I commented on the way home that I am so awesomely sick, I cannot believe I can be so sick for so long and how is it possible. He said, "When was the last time you took some colloidal silver?" deflated, I said what I said. And how could he think that would get me better from this. About 20 minutes later I had a thought and told him he is right, it could help. Since my protocol is about killing off cancer cells I could be having a heavy burden of bacteria and colloidal silver is good for bacteria smothering. He said nothing, kept driving. I said, "Well, aren't you going to do a parade or something? cuz I said you're right." He said, "When we get home I'm making my mark on the wall, that'll do." He is such a toad.

Anonymous

Sensi ~ I am so sorry...... Chance was your soul mate, as Marti was mine. To share such a strong bond and true unconditional love is a blessing. A Blessing that didn't last long enough. We lose part of our heart and soul when our best friend passes.

Chance will always be a part of you. When you meet again, he will have those pieces of your heart and soul, waiting to return to you. Being a Lab, those pieces will be soggy...... only because he has been holding them close so tight. 💗

(((hugs)) ~ Shep

PattyPeppermint

hello fellow insomniacs. You ladies must be taking s break on posting. Yesterday and today when looking for insomniacs on active thread and it’s been on page 4. Wow. Always used to be in first page. Where is everyone ???? Sleeping ??

Hootie hoo

Beatmon

I guess it’s just you and me, Patty.

I took the tour of Mags new home. It is glorious.

Mags, my mother in law hums alllllllllll of the time. She must have another form of what you have.

Funny for me, I can hear songs in my mind...but when I sing I swear the dogs in the neighborhood howl

Anonymous

I'm here, I was scrolling back pages trying to find out what happened to Sensi's pet. Nada.

Sensi - I hear of your loss and send hugs and love.

Beatmom - Danny Boy does not like the sound of my new voice. I use to sing blues and he stayed in the room at least.

Anonymous

crossposting.....

I haven't been doing very well physically for a long time. This last month is worsening.

I feel like everyone in my inner circle has stepped back for their own reasons. I know they will come forward again as they get a grip on what they realize is happening.

DS - that I am not doing enough through western medicine to get well. That I should not be spending time on my funeral stuff and organizing accounts. Though believe it, attorney stuff and doctor stuff took my time this month, that and being so sick.

DD - even after she asks how I am and I tell her as clearly as I can she writes in chat that she still doesn't understand how I am and what my condition is. And I wrote, really rough and on a fine line between palliative / hospice at this point but doing the best I can to get well. She has not comented further for two days.

Friend - When I was railing at the wind a few days ago about how I keep hitting the wall on answers and getting help she said.... I really don't want you to get upset with me but I really believe if you accepted Jesus Christ as your Saviour this would all turn around. (I don't want to get into beliefs with anyone, please, or what I am as far as saved or not, it's personal.) But I was really stung that in her mind I was being blackmailed by her higher power. That is the only way I can understand and though I know she meant well, it just stung.

SIL - she is not really my support system but could be. She sits back and says God healed her (though she did all the chemo and mastectomy and radiation they would throw at her) and that is the way it is. So that means in her minds eye that God is choosing not to heal me, I guess. I haven't asked - I don't believe in special favours. But that is my belief.

Hubby - He keeps saying he believe I can still beat this. As he watches me clinging to the side of the cliff. That is a lot of pressure.

Tonight on Scandal the opening moral to the story was "What do people fail to do when they are in crisis?" "Realize they are in crisis."

JunieB

Mags - Beatmom posted that she had taken a tour of your new home. Did you post a link or am I missing something? I am glad you got your taxes and other paperwork organized and done. How soon before you move into your home?

Blue - I have a silly question for you. When you had your pet skunks, were they de-scented, and if so, did they still have a skunky odor? I ask only because I was talking yesterday with a woman whose dog got sprayed by a skunk in their backyard for the umpteenth time, and my question about a skunks odor after de-scenting is done. I did not know the answer.

I read your post about the people around you who just don't get it. I have to wonder if it is that they just can't face the prospect of losing you. I'm not sure what is more difficult, well meaning, but unhelpful individuals or not having anyone close who cares enough to make the effort. I am not being facetious at all. Just wondering.

SAS - I hope you get your computer up and running soon.

Seni - If you are lurking: I am so sorry for the lose of your sweet Chance!

JunieB

Today a friend and I finally made it to the bus to go to Portland to go to a specific shopping mall. Although we made on the bus, we never made it out of town. About 10 mins after starting our trip the bus we were on was involved in a crash. Two people in a mini-van that were being chased by the police lost control of the vehicle they were driving and crashed into the front of the bus. I was thrown forward into my friends lap/chest, banging my right knee on my walker and had my spine/ribs jolted. I went to the local ER where they did a CT and it showed no new/worsened fracture to my L3 or damage to my T11 where the tumor is. Kirby was also thrown over the front of my walker and was hanging by his collar under my walker. The possibility that Kirby could have been injured scared me more initially. But once I got him situated and back on my walker, I realized how much I was hurting. I explained to the EMT's my medical situation and they didn't seem in the least concerned. They had me walk off the bus, get on the gurney and once we got to the ER I was transferred to a wheelchair and left to sit in the triage area before being wheeled to a new area where a doctor spoke to me for a minute then said all I needed was an ex-ray. I heard another doctor tell him that they felt a CT was called for, so he changed his plan. They gave me one Vicodin and left me sitting there for about 4 hours. Just before discharging me the doctor told me I was probably gonna hurt like HELL tomorrow. Well that happened when the pill wore off this evening. Yay Me! NOT! I seriously don't like this hospital, but it is the only one locally and when you don't drive or have family to drive you elsewhere, you're stuck with what you've got. BLAHHHHHHH!

That hospital is the same one that sent me home 3.5 years ago in excruciating pain because they missed the tumor in my spine. So when my vertebrae snapped 5 weeks later I called a friend and her DH was kind enough to drive me to Portland. I refused to go to our local hospital. Later when I filed a complaint, their response was "Well, at least 50% of radiologist's would have missed that tumor" These kind of results are fairly common for this hospital, yet they have a lock on the area and no other hospital will ever be built here. This hospital is the largest employer in the area and spent a great deal of money last year to ensure that a bill for an employee tax to raise funds to improve/increase the busing in our State Capitol would NOT be passed, and it did fail.

sensitivehrt

Hello ladies. Sorry I've been missing in action for a while. Thank you for the kind words and thoughts on Chance. I wanted to share some of my favorite pics of him. I was so very lucky when he came into my life 7 years ago.

I have many of his “dust bunnies" lying throughout the house. I suppose I should clean one day.

Was great to see the Sacramento ladies. Always love getting together with them.

Shep-love the new pup

Waving hello and sending ❤️ To ever

JunieB

Sensi - Thank you for sharing your memories of Chance with us!

Wren44

Sensi, What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful dog. I was in tears watching. I loved all the photos of Chance having fun and being loving. Very special dog.

Anonymous

Sensi - Well, there he is. Oh those eyes, he had a happy life with you. I don't mean this is a bad way but he sure looked a lot like you in a beautiful way. Do you have other dogs at home now? Are they missing him or do they have each other?

Junie - They were desaced. The longer they went w/o being desaced the more their poo smelled of spray. But as they grew older it wore off. Unlike ferret that has the musk gland removed and still frankly smells like a ferret, skunks acquire their own aroma when desaced. Pooh, who was a wild kit turned to a pet, he ended up smelling like holiday coffee. Baby smelled like powder. Sage like weeds. Blossom like she was in heat, though she was spayed. Lacey like a flower of some kind, such a pretty smell. Jazzy like potato chips.

I would rather have people that are caring about me that I have to figure out how to deal w than to have no one. I know you aren't being facetious, it's well understood. I think it is just that they all seemed to change at once. And yes, when it looks like my case is going to end despite all efforts thus far. So it probably is that they just can't take it anohter second or they could break right in front of me. That is what my SIL does. My nurse did, we won't hold that against her. Wonderful to have a professional medical person w a real heart. I was surrounded by them for awhile, including my primary MO who moved away.

The lady bug is being clingy despite the water drops I gave 'her.'

jaymeb

Hi Ladies

I'm finally joining the land of the living. I have not been out of my apartment since Monday, the day of my exchange surgery. Going CRAZY!!!! My sweet 73 year old mom needed a break, and went to TJ Maxx and Ross's. When she's in those stores, might be tomorrow before she gets back. Lol. My daughter and her boyfriend are working on a tough biology project. He's been here all day. I sit in the living room listening, and barging in her room at anytime I choose. Eyes and ears wide open.👀👀👀👀👀👀. Damn straight. She's a great girl, and she, and the boyfriend have known each other since kindergarten. I also know at 15, hormones are raging. I'm on her like white on rice.

Junie

Sorry about what you've been through. The accident, and how people are not empathetic, I'll never know. How can people in the medical field be such asses, and uncaring??? When a person chooses to go into any field to help others, you should truly be passionate about it, and bend over backwards to help!!!! Why are there sooo many rude people in the world??? I hope your pain gets better.

Loverly

Thanks for your thoughts, and yes, the exchange surgery is less painful than the mascectomy. However, there is still some pain. Each day is better. I put ice packs on my boobs a lot, and that is soothing. Taking the vicadin less, but having trouble staying on track with the antibiotic.

The itching is now more on my right lifted breast where the incisions are. Uhhhhhh😬😬😬😬. I want to yank this tape off!!!!! I can understand women who choose not to reconstruct. Although, it's a pain in the ass, it was a no brainer for me to have an implant and reconstruction. To me, although breasts do not DEFINE us as women, to me, they represent sexuality, and feminity. Hope this is worth it. God, how breast cancer changes our lives forever. And it's true, we see who really steps up to the plate, and who really loves and supports us. But I also, wonder, why do people who "love" us sometimes keep a distance?? Fear, scared, don't care??? Hmmmm.

Blue

You are very strong, and what a great hubby you have. I've read, and heard so many women who' husbands have left them due to changes in their appearances, and just can't "handle it". Also these jackasses find other women. Does the marriage vows " in sickness and health" really matter? Sorry, I'll stop now. I hope you're doing everything for you, and what about your bucket list? Is your pain under control? It seems you still have an appetite. That's good.

Well, off to take a shower. I miss my long baths. Apparently, no baths for a month.🙄🙄🙄.

magdalene51

My dream house

jaymeb

Mags

WOWZERS. Just watched the video of your new home. Yes, I'm drooling. Beautiful!!!!! Lots of space. I'm a kitchen person, although I don't cook anymore. However, with that size, and the top notch appliances, I would LIVE in the kitchen. Are you living by yourself? I'm sure you have top notch security, which of course is needed these days.

I love that sink, and I've seen them, but I forget what it's called. And the master bath. Very nice. If you don't mind me asking, what is the square footage? Have you moved in, or in the process? I know you love it❤️❤️❤️❤️. What does it look like outside?

Wren44

Incredible house. It would fit my dreams too. And the roses in the shelving are just the finishing touch. Are you still in the same area? The storage alone makes me drool. Our house was built in 1946 when people didn't own much. If it didn't have a basement, we would have no storage at all.