INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Hauntie

I may be hanging out here some tonight. Tomorrow is finally the day for my PMX. It's scheduled for 2 p.m. After 17+ years of being lopsided, I'll finally have symmetry. I'm surprisingly calm (but that may change as the night goes on.) I think I've already let my breast go.

I don't really like the "blank slate" look, but I like the lopsided look even less. It's not the lack of breasts that bothers me, I'm pretty sure it's the lack of nipples. Maybe I'll have a couple tatooed on.

chrissyb

Hi Hauntie, I hope you got and are getting some good sleep!  Goodluck with your surgery!  I'll be thinking of you!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

Hauntie

Chrissy - I got a good 4 hours (thanks to xanax).These last few hours, waiting to go to the hospital, are the hardest. I much prefer an early surgery time. I like my team fresh and well rested. I was up and out early - got my oil changed, filled the gas tank. I would have gone for a walk on the beach - but, no food or liquids after midnight. I just couldn't exercise without my water bottle. And, scrambles egss, bacon and toast would taste really good about now, too.

I'm still pretty calm. I'm about to take my last shower before surgery. Last time I did this, before my Mx, I stood in there sobbing and saying over and over "If you keep it, it will kill you." There will be no hysterics this time. Although it's still attached to me, I feel very detached from it. Just not looking forward to the post surgical pain.

Thanks for the good thoughts.

chrissyb

(((((((((((Hauntie))))))))))))

ananda8

It's morning and I hope the new day brings no pain and long naps for you, Hauntie.

chabba

Hauntie - Thinking of you.

ananda8

It's almost 2:00am.  I was in bed, up and now I am going to try to get some sleep.15 more months of Arimidex and I will be done.

Good morning all.  Have a nice day.

sas-schatzi

Haunti I think if I'm correct everything should be done--------no more lopsidedness. I understand very well as I think many do. I felt my boobs were nothing but killing machines  "OFF WITH THEM". I know others feel the opposite, don't mean to hurt anyones feelings.

sas-schatzi

Daydreamer-------good lord. Yes you need some rest. Did your Dh surprise you?? Of course I have to admit, I'm the opposite. One Ds 2 hours away. No family here. I miss that

Hauntie

I'm baaaack! Surgery went well. I stayed in the hospital 2 days (in a private room - bonus!) I could have stayed another day, if I wanted - but I needed to get home so I could get some rest. Although, when my temp hit 100.1 last night, I was wishing that I had stayed. It came down in a couple of hours.

I was out and about for a little bit today. I'm still really sore, especially where the 2 drains are inserted. I also have a HUGE (softball sized) bruise under where the drains are inserted. One of my brother's said that's where my surgeon must have been resting her elbow while she was operating. My cousin, who's a nurse and a BC survivor, is on her way over to help me change the dressing, so I'll get my first look at the incision.

I am feeling such complete peace with my decision. As soon as I woke up after the surgery, all the doubts and anxiety were gone. I went to buy a mastectomy camisole today and when my fitter asked me if I "wanted boobs" (put in the foam prostheses) I said nope. I had no problem being out and about as a "flatty". I've never felt comfortable, out and about,.without a prosthesis. I think the prostheses will be for work and dress up only, from now on.

Now there's just the wait for the path report. Even though there is no reason to expect that they'll find anything, the waiting still makes me a little anxious. Thanks for all your well wishes and support.

chrissyb

Yay Hauntie!!!   So glad you are home and it all went well!!!   Isn't it good when you can honestly say that you are happy and comfortable with the way you look and really mean it!

Good luck with the dressing change!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

Hauntie

Hi Chrissy - I feel 100% better since the dressing change. The tape was causing so much itching and irritation, I was going out of my mind. My cousin needed scissors to get all the tape off around the drains. Now just gauze pads under the binder, which is much, much more comfortable. BTW - the incision looks great.

chrissyb

Glad you are feeling more comfortable Hauntie with all the tape gone.  Sounds like your surgeon has done a good job as if the incision looks good now it will only get better with time.....that's good news!!!!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

3jaysmom

hauntie: im so glad you're out, and everything is going well. that you changed the dressings... its

sucH a relief!!! when they come out, it'll be like the 4th of July.. independance day!!! 3jays

vmudrow

Hi everyne - just can't seem to sleep and thought I'd see who is up.  Hope everyone is doing well.

chrissyb

Hi Val, I'm always up at this time as it's only 5.30pm here!

vmudrow

Hi chris - You must live around the world from me - it is now 2:06 am.

chrissyb

I do, Australia to be exact....lol.   What's keeping you awake?  Anything you want to talk about?

vmudrow

Oh you are in Australia - I'm in Utah. You joined this site a month after me - and I found it a day before my masectomies and have been so glad I did.  I hope you are doing ok - stage IV, you have been fighting for many years - I admire you.

 I think I will try to get some sleep now, this is ridiculous being up so late.  Hopefully I'll see you on here another time.

Hugs and best wishes to you - Val

chrissyb

Sleep well Val!!   Catch you later!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

vmudrow

Thanks Chrissy - off for some zzzzzzs hopefully!

3jaysmom

not anyone around tonight. i keep missing everyone by almost a day 23 hrs. actually... not much sleeping being done. but not much else, either, thanks to the thyroid problems.. i swear; this is WAY worse than chemo was,(but not the neulasta part)   i guess God has a reason ( or lesson) for everything...

   im trying to get my house in order, slow, but surely.. haven't REALLY moved in since dx.. its; a LONG time to go in chaos. its' become a lifestyle, and THAT: in itself,is the problem hahaha.............3jays

chrissyb

Hey 3jays, I up if you are still around!!!

3jaysmom

sorry i missed you last night, chrissy.. this pills have just messed up all my (not sleeping)hahaha it won'hope you all get some rest, and peaceful rest, at that..............a bit. taking 1/2 the rx.. getting just enuff results to not be REALLY sick...

 we're "investigating" what will come next..

 it really is bad with the immune system i have. Flights are down $$ wise, to shell knob (branson) but i dont dare yet!!!!   hope you all get some restful sleep soon........3jays

chrissyb

Hadley, I leave in six days!!!  I am getting to the extreme level of excitement but that's good as I'll need all the adrenalin to keep me going.....lol.  I wish I could get to meet you too but I'm unsure where you are.  Would you like to PM me your location and if so maybe I can work something out.

3jays, really looking forward to seeing you and it's not long now!!!  Hoping you are getting sorted.

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

vmudrow

Chrissy - sounds like you have a trip planned - have a great time!!

chrissyb

Val I'm off to the USA for about five weeks and stopping in on London England and Auckland NZ on the trip to and from.....so yes, it is a very big trip and I'm extrememly excited about it all as I have never been outside Australia before..   This will be a huge adventure!!!!!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

justagirl

Chrissy,

Wow, soounds like you are actually taking a trip most of us only dream of!  I am so happy you have the opportunity to do it.  It's good you are taking your time, as for what the cost of flights are nowadays, you need to stay and visit to get your money's worth.

My son and I will go back to Kauai or over to San Francisco and Los Angeles in November when he finishes this uni year. Jerry (husband) won't budge, so he can keep my neurotic dog company and toss out the  animals my hunting cat brings in nightly.  Last night it was a carpet snake about a metre long and he forgot to kill it but luckily it was maimed and moving slow so I was able to pick it up.  No one will house sit for us because of his hunting habits and my Jaki-dog would have to go on sedatives if one of us wasn't around.

What with femara making me crazy, no wonder Jaki-girl and I get along so well!

Anyway, have a wonderful time and write here if you get the chance to. 

Bon Voyage!,

Debbie

chrissyb

Debbie, I will be sharing the trip with everyone!  I have decided that rather than post the same thing heaps of times, I will start a new thread so everyone can keep up with me.  There will be photos as well so you can all come with me.....lol

Hope your trip in November is a good relaxing trip with your son.  I get what you mean abouth the other half staying home with the dog, as mine does the same....lol.....she is a mini poodle cross mini foxy and she is his baby.  He won't even be late home if I'm not here because he doesn't want her to be alone.  I just laugh at him and tell him she sleeps all day anyway!

Love n hugs.  Chrissy

Hauntie

I got the pathology report from my PMX this afternoon. The report indicated no sign of cancer or of any funky looking cells that might someday become malignant. I'm on cloud 9. Thank you all for your advice, prayers and well wishes for my recovery from this surgery. I am healing and am also ecstatic about my new found freedom in being flat.

P.S. My new avitar says; "It came, I saw, I kicked its Ass." Feel free to borrow it.