I hate my oncologist

LuvRVing

So, this is more of a vent.  I know what I must do - get a new one.  And I have a recommendation from a 3-time BC survivor friend, and he is in my PPO network, so that is a good start.

My current oncologist freaked us out last July when I had my first bout.  He felt my breast, told me I had a 5 cm tumor and needed to do neo-adjuvant chemo "yesterday."   Well, his hands couldn't tell the difference between tumor tissue and hematomas from the biopsy, depsite my effort to tell him what he was feeling.  I decided to go with a lumpectomy first, and the cancerous tumor was 1.7 cm, so he was wrong. 

Because I decided against chemo at the time, and figuring I would only have to see him on occasion for follow-ups and blood work, I didn't bother to find a new onco even though I didn't click with him. 

Roll forward to last week, and DH and I went to see him together on Thursday.  We know my tumor markers are up to 65 (you want these below 40), I had a seroma drained that contained cancer cells from the same location as the original tumor.  Before seeing any test results (MRI was last Thursday and PET scan next Friday) he tells me that I have aggressive cancer, he looks me in the eyes and says "do you want me to cure your cancer?"  Wow, he must know something that has escaped every other oncologist on the planet.  He proceeds to tell me that I need a mastectomy, full axillary dissection, chemo and radiation to the chest wall. 

How the he$$ does he know this without any test results?  My DH called his communication style "shock and awe".  I call him an arrogant SOB.  He thinks he knows better than any tests.  He scared the crap out of DH and he made me very angry.  My breast surgeon suggested that I may have had cancer cells trapped in the hematomas from the biopsy which are now floating in the seroma fluid as the hematomas are dissolving.  Apparently, biopsies can cause this to happen.  Now granted, this sure sounds better than the onco's scenario.  

Having worked in a professional capacity in the business world for 30 years, I appreciate the process of fact-based decision making.  This guy's approach is the complete opposite.  It may turn out that he is correct in his "assumptions" but I do not want my treatment plan to be based on assumptions.  And I have decided that if I have to hear bad news from a doctor, he's not the one I want to deliver it.

I'm seeing a plastic surgeon tomorrow to discuss DIEP reconstruction.  And I will be calling the recommended oncologist's office to schedule an appointment.  There is no rush as I would need to heal from surgery before embarking on any chemo treatment, should it be necessary. 

Anyone else deal with a similar situation with an onco? Are they all arrogant? 

Michelle

Laurie09

My onc is not arrogant at all.  She's very straight forward, matter of fact and non-alarmist.  

I think if this is how this guy is dealing with you, you need a new onc.  Not saying he doesn't know his stuff, but if my Dr. spoke to me like that, I would have a hard time believing in what I was being told.    

christine47

Michelle,

Sounds like you have a good plan, find a new onc.  You may need additional treatment, but you should have complete confidence in your doctor, it needs to be one you can have open and two way communication with.  I really am happy with my onc, and it makes all the difference in my willingness to accept my treatment.  Good Luck!!

LuvRVing

I have a new oncologist, and I was immediately at ease with her.  My breast surgeon walked me over to her office yesterday afternoon and she was a breath of fresh air.  She addressed all my concerns, and has suggested even more chemo than my original onco.  But she explained everything and somehow it seemed more palatable.  She was aware of the metformin clinical trials, we had a good two-way discussion about my diabetes, and I have confidence in what she says.  She didn't tell me what I "have" to do, she made some recommendations, told my how she was leaning, and then is letting me make the decision.  She wants 8 rounds of chemo.  I'm not sure I can do that.  I have a PET scan on Thursday.  If the nodes that lit up on the MRI are cancerous, I'll bite the bullet and accept the 8.  If they are just inflamed, I will talk to her about just 4.  I will need her to explain why ACx4+Tx4 will be better in the long run that just TCx4.

And oh, I can't have the DIEP reconstruction.  I don't have enough tummy fat.  Hard to believe, I've never thought of myself as thin, although I lost 15 pounds during last year's BC battle.  I had 4 children and I guess what I thought was fat is just lots of loose skin.  So my recon will have to be TRAM. 

Yesterday was a sucky day, I indulged in a little pity party last night, took a couple of sleeping pills and got a decent night's sleep.  I guess I'm now into the "quiet resignation" state. 

What must be, must be.

 Michelle