April 2011 Rads
Comments
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Just checking in ladies - today was #12 of 33. So far not too bad - only a little pink. Using aloe vera gel 2-3 times a day. The only problem I am having is a very sore back - hoping it's just a muscle strain (am back to working at a desk and maybe I have been so sedentary for the last 3 months that I am that much out of shape.) In my darkest moments I worry that the cancer has spread to my spine, but with being only 5 weeks out of chemo and having an MRI that showed nothing of that nature, don't think that is at all likely, but am having a bone scan on Friday just to rule that out. Got a prescription for vicodin, which takes away the pain and worry for a few hours at least. Will have to get used to the fact that from now on every prolonged ache is going to be cause for concern. I will try to worry less and celebrate more.
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Aimeemac~ I feel ya! and I feel my hip and my knee and my elbow....did I hurt like this before cancer and all the steroids made it better for a while? So wish I could remember.....lol.
So I'm guessing by reading the tread that after my first rad tomorrow I'll feel fine to go back to work?
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Met with my radiation oncologist yesterday and looks like I will be a May rads, not an April. Oh well, he wants me to wait a full month before starting, as my red blood counts are still pretty low. I'm anxious to start, just so I can get this behind me as quickly as possible. Will be nice to have a two week stretch with no doctors appointments, that hasn't happened in a very long time.
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Gina, I am on my third week, and there was only one day when I felt fatigue, but that was after I took the first vicodin so I am chalking it up to that. I have it pretty easy because my radiation treatment center is only 2 miles down the road, and I work at home so I don't have to commute in anywhere. The first week my appt. was at 5:10 and I stressed about it all day, but now I am at 8:10 in the morning and just come home and start to work. I am having more emotional issues with rads than I did with chemo, so I hope that doesn't affect you too. Lying on the table and seeing my reflection in the ceiling made it all too real and clinical. 33 treatments seemed like such a long road, but now I am more than 1/3 finished. Hope I will continue to be lucky and not have too many SEs. Good luck to you tomorrow and let us know how it goes!
Aimee
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Gina - don't worry! It won't feel like anything - honestly...You'll be fine to go back to work...It takes more time to get undressed and redressed than it takes for the actual treatment. Good luck to you...
Not sure who said it, but a big screen tv to look at instead of the ceiling would be a nice touch...
Hugs to all
Rita
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Hi everyone, can I join in, please?
I started radiotherapy on Monday and am a bit concerned what will happen - so far so good though! -
Hi hkcrazee! welcome! I start tomorrow.
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Thanks sagina, I was really nervous the first day and spent a sleepless night but when it was over I had to smack myself on the hand for being such a big baby. I have fair skin too and rarely go out in the sun (I live in Townsville, North Queensland, Australia) as it is too hot for me - I am concerned that I will burn too.
Mine is on the left side too and they do the radiation from under and over - I also had a bit of a thought about the heart and lungs but I guess they have done it a few times before with no ill consequences.
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Thank you HKCrazee! Will let you know later how it goes, surely I'll be smackign myself too!
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Going to the R/O tomorrow., I don't even remember what time, or what the hell they are going to be doing.........I just know I'm finding myself thinking about it more now then I have in a while..........Watching TV, then all of a sudden my mind wanders, and I find myself tearing up over stupid crap, and I know its the overwhelming thought of 33 days of Rads..........I'm not really scared.........I really just want it over and done with..............Of course I'm worried about the SE, and wondering if I will end up with LE after............I swear I keep looking at my arm to the point of obsession. can't imagine what I'll be doing once the Rads start.
This has been going on since Feb. 15th, and I'm still wondering when I'm gonna wake up from this horrible nightmare.............................What's that you say......."its not a nightmare", its real, oh ok, then.............honey............put on the" BIG GIRL PANTIES" and remember.....................this is not forever...............This too will soon be over...............
Lord help us all.............................hugs
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Hi Everyone,
Just popping in here....Started my radiation today. They took x-rays, and I got a treatment; I swear it couldn't have been more than 2 minutes long. Am I crazy, or is it possible I'm already feeling side effects. My breast feels warm, scar tissue is harder than it's been and it's sore under my rib. Pyschosomatic? Wow, I have a long way to go too!
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Sagina - good luck today! You will be amazed how quick it goes.
Mother of 3 - welcome and good luck to you.
Saw a different RO today before treatment and my skin dryness and flakyness is definately unusual. He recommended switching to Aquaphor, which I am not thrilled with as it is so greasy
. I will see my RO today before treatment as they want to keep a close eye on it. At least it doesn't itch, yet anyways.I'm glad my Radiation Center has a light display to look at on the ceiling, I would not like to look at a mirror!
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Welcome Mother of 3 Baking Queen - I hope it's not se's already!
Ducky - I read your posts and I alternately laugh and want to cry...I think a lot of us feel the way you do...Scared, pissed off, did I mention pissed off? I know I am - especially since I've had this crap disease twice in 15 months...I had a friend say last night that "Isn't it someone else's turn"? Well, I don't want it to be someone else's turn, I don't want anyone else to have this happen to them and the "cures" are: surgery - mast or lumpectomy, radiation of some sort, chemo ...Sometimes I think about when it's 100 years from now they'll be amazed that these were the only treatments for ca and realize how lucky they are that ca was preventable or you take a pill and it gets rid of it...But, the time is now and we must do what we must do to...What made me finally decide to go ahead and have rads is that they did a study on DCIS (my second ca) at Dana Faber which was supposed to last 5 years and they put women in two groups: the first group got no rads the second group did. They ended the study after 2 years because of all the women in the first group that got ca back...So, off I march to 8 of 25 today...because, God knows I don't want it a THIRD time...
((((((Hugs to all)))))
Rita
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Ducky - I felt just like you at the start of rads. 33 seemed like an impossible number, and I felt hopeless, angry and scared. I have all of my appt. dates and times on a sheet stuck to my memo board, and every day when I get home I mark another day off with a highlighter. Just finished 14 of 33 today, and while it still feels like a giant mountain, I can see my way to the top, and then it is all downhill. At 14 days, I am only a little pink and haven't really had fatigue to speak of. I am a fairly big breasted woman, so I take care to make sure my "underboob" stays as dry as possible after putting the aloe gel on it, then tuck my t-shirt between my flabby boob and my abdomen to make sure there is no skin against skin. Not a pretty picture but I am trying to avoid any complications there. I've said before how this is emotionally tougher for me than chemo, and am still trying to figure out why that is. The chemo room was a busy place with lots of people, and for me it wasn't a stressful experience, but rads is "me against the machine" all alone in the room. God, I can't wait for this to be over!
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Ritaz, thanks for your kind comments.......you telling me about the study they did makes me even more convinced I am about to do the right thing...I never thought I would get past diagnosis considering the "state of mind" I was in, but I did, and as I went through each procedure, one at a time, (and some were awful, and the easiest the lumpectomy, I relaized there might just be an end to this which exculdes joining my DH at HOly Cross Cemetary......so you have given me inspiritation to go on further knowing "hell just maybe I can do this"..thanks, and hugs
Aimee-Mac...hahahahaha, excuse me for laughing, but the description of your "flabby boob", describes "me" exactly.....At 25, I never thought I would be lifting my boob up to wash underneath it at 76......My 10 year old adorable grandaughter who texts, or IM's me everyday, even though we live just 5 minutes from each other said to me last night before I went to sleep............Good Night, Nannie.........Think happy thoughts, dream good dreams, ask Poppie in heaven to be by your side, and remember....God would not have brought you to this....if he could not get you through it.....love ya, Makayla.....................She is an amazing little girl, who has posters all over her room that say "Prayer, and Positive..............How can I lose...........................hugs to you, and good luck.
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Wow Duckyb1, your granddaughter is just beautiful, and I feel the same way too! I just had my first of 33 today. They had to take ex rays before and set the markers etc, so I was there around 40 minutes. I had to hold my arms in a certain position so my flabby arms were hurting afterward. When she said ok, don't move we just have to mark you, but you can relax I felt all the stress I have been holding in anticipation of this day melt away, literally.....
AimeeMac, I'm a big boob flabby girl, please give me pointers. The techs recommended a nonstick Curad pad under the breast to capture the moisture as they put it, I'd need a really big nonstick pad, are Kotex consider non-stick? lol. How are you doing with wearing a bra? The techs told me not to wear one, but I might end up in a picture on someone's email in a Walmart store!!!
Motherof3bakingqueen, I was wondering about SE already too, my boob hurts, but I think it might be from holding the arm position so long, it can only stretch so much, and it was trying to make it all the way to the floor I think!
Readingmamma, thank you for the well wishes, thankful this has started the last part of my journey to recovery!
The cream I"m getting is called RadiaPlex Rx anyone else?
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Day 11/33 completed... a tender nipple and hard swolen breast (radiating heat) directly afterwards -- which did start on day one and has been consistent. Not so much that I am bothered by it. By the next am, I'm fine and ready to abuse once again. My RO gave me a bag of Aquaphor for the first two weeks, told me to apply liberally (never for 4 hours prior to rads) and today gave me another bag of aquaphor with Aloe Vesta - which smells a bit like diaper cream ... I prefer the 100% aloe. The shortness of breath has alievated. Not so bad. The worse is really the fear of long term SE.
I am reading the book, Promise Me by Nancy Brinker (Komen Foundation). I highly recommend it. It has given me insight to how far we've come (we already know how far we have yet to go) .... it's a story of love, strength and determination.... a good combo for those moments when we feel alone. Keeping the positive, all is ok, mom face on 24/7 is difficult & Thank you all for the hand holding....
On a side note I also started the Tamoxifen and really no notable SE after 3 weeks.
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Debbie,
Thanks for the recommendation for the book - I'm putting it on my kindle right now...
I'd like to recommend a book too that I found as a result of reading a post last year:
It's Not About the Hair: And Other Certainties of Life and Cancer by Debra Jarvis
From Amazon: Jarvis is an ordained minister with a bawdy sense of humor, and a breast cancer survivor who believes in telling it like it is. She's probably not everyone's cup of tea, especially if you believe certain topics are meant only for a doctor's office and/or the bedroom.The accounts of other people's struggles are among the most moving in the book...
Today is 8 of 25 - I discovered that my breast is swollen - like I need a DD breast to become even bigger - really??? My RO has recommended Jeans Cream: www.jeanscream.com I like it because it's NOT greasy AT ALL - I put it on while I'm changing back and it leaves no residue and no staining of my clothes...So far, just a tiny bit red - oh yeah, and that swelling...Geeezzzzz -
Mother of 3: You're not crazy. I felt the same way right from the beginning. I just had treatment 8 today. Definitely feeling sunburnt today, but feels worse than it looks. Aloe is helping making it feel better. I am still short of breath and tired, but I feel better. Probably my infection going away (I started getting a second bout of breast cellulitis last Thursday), which is great.
Blue Lily: I have been short of breath as well. I guess my chest muscles are inflamed. Aleve is really doing the trick and I only feel bad when I am moving around or talking a lot.
Rita: My breast feels very swollen and hard and starting to redden, but it is better in the morning and really recovers on the weekend. My nipple isn't as sensitive as it was but does still hurt. I put calendula cream on my nipple and under my breast, Aquaphor on the rest. Aloe as needed. My breast is radiating heat as well.
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Ok aimee, me without a bra.............now that's a sight to behold,,,,,,,,,,,,,,a Curad pad, do they make a Curad Blanket................I'm a 40 D.............well a D on one side, and a C 3/4 on the other since the lumpectomy.........The nipple looks down at the floor, and slightly toward the armpit like its trying to see who is standing behind me..................So what we have here is ot exactly a Curad Pad situation...............................I had rotator cuff surgery on both sides, so keeping my arms over my head is not exactly fun, add that to the fact that I'm 76, and have "bat wings" and the one on the right (cancer side) probably weighs 5 lbs about now..........I had a fractured vertabrae which was repaired (laying on your back is peachy), and a knee that really should have been replaced 5 years ago, which when I lay doesn't lay flat..............HOLY SHIT, this is gonna be a HOOT....................But guess what.............................I'll friggin do this regardless of what it takes, or how it hurts, cause I have a little 10 yrs old lady that is depending on me, and I sure can't disappoint her or the other 17 grandchildren above her...............I'm on a mission now.........How can I lose when I have so many depending on me to win..................and I promise I will.................hugs to you
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Hi!
Susan--Thanks for clarifying. I guess I really didn't expect to feel anything THE FIRST DAY. I thought I had some time, and kept hearing that radiation is not that bad. Not that bad compared to what? Just curious, because, I like to be prepared for things; if possible.
I was just starting to feel that my breast was not swelling as much on a daily basis. I can see where that will be not the case for awhile. Alrighty then, let's just do this and get it over with.
I really appreciate everyone's input as far how to take care during radiation. It helps to know someone else gets what is going on. So hard to explain to someone who hasn't been through it.
Thanks ladies! Hopefully, I can help someone out later on....
Mom of 3
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well my RO agreed with yesterdays that it is not a Rad reaction, but a chemical to one of the lotions I was using. He also said I should continue with Aquaphor, ughh. I will use it for a week and see how my skin fares. I have not brought up Jeans Cream or Miaderm with him yet, but maybe I will ask him about those next time. They do have Calendula cream on the list, so I could try that.
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my first treatment was today, and TODAY I get a folder with information about simulation, first treatment, skin care, fatigue, and a whole book from the National Cancer Institute about radiation. Oh yes, did I tell you I got the book AFTER my appointment when I was leaving....so glad I had all of you to talk to before hand!
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Mother of 3: I was under the same impression as well. Everyone always says that radiation is not that bad. My rad onc said that the fatigue will never interfere with my normal activities. I'm wondering if those who have said radiation is not bad are the ones who have had chemo. You haven't, have you? I am stage 1a as well, but triple engative and grade 2.
I have a friend on my street who had chemo and rads. She worked right through chemo, but she claims rads was worse for her. I guess she had terrible itching on her back that just wouldn't stop. But, she had been the only one who told me rads was worse than chemo.
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Today is 18 of 33.
Aimee I have the same problem that you noted about anxiety, I'm not normally an anxious person but as I breath I can see my chest heaving in the glass and metal of the machine so I breath quicker. THEN, I think I'm twitching and moving during the treatments, the techs have sworn to me that I'm not moving. I've elected not to take drugs so that I can drive myself to treatment but told my RO about the anxiety and she recommended that the techs talk to me via speaker during my 4 "shots"; this has helped greatly.
The chemo was difficult with the various side effects but the actual infusions didn't bother me at all. My last chemo was March 1st and I'm finding that the runny nose, weight gain from steroids and twitching eyes have finally subsided--chemo brain is still heavily evident LOL.
Radiation fatigue is nothing for me compared to the chemo fatigue. The radiation fatigue seems to hit every couple of days and is not a constant.
So far my skin is doing OK, the only problem is that I have a dry spot on my back that is hard to reach. My treatments are at 1:00 so I shower in the morning, do not put on any cream or deodorant until after treatments. Fortunately I don't have an odor problem despite the hot flashes. RO said the skin issues is not dependent on how you react to a natural sunburn; it's a factor of the creams, deodorants, soaps and if you're prone to allergic reactions.
I hope everyone does well with treatments and planning!
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Going today for what I hope is the last visit before we start this crap..............Called an asked what they were going to do, and she asked if the R/O had explained it to me.......I said "yea she probably did, but do you think I remember what she said.................Then she mentioned more x-rays.........I'm getting sick of these friggin x-rays, and all the other "glow in the dark" shit they do to you............Just want to get it done and over with.............I'm sure that i how we all feel
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duckyb1 ~ good luck today. I was so anxious about starting, got postponed a couple of times etc. just wanted it to start. So yesterday I started and this morning I woke up and told my self, I have to cream AGAIN, and I have to go there AGAIN! Can't wait for the weekend! - So, waiting, starting, it all sucks, except that it will end! lol.
motheof3~ I had chemo to, it knocked me on my butt for about a week, then weakness (worse than fatigue). I had my first Rad yesterday, and I had a dull pain come and go right in the center of the breast....I was exhausted as well, but probably from the anticipation leading up to yesterday.
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I had my consult tues. I have my simulation and tats done on the 26th (thank god i'm getting tats and not tape!)
my rad onc is pushing me to go back to work while on rads. i have been off since november and still struggling with fatigue. he told me if i don't go back to work, then i really need to start an exercise program to help me get my energy back.
ok, i can do that.
my line of work requires lifting and moving all the time, and i'm getting rads to my armpit as well
i'm like, "hello!! my job requires me to lift and move shit all over the place!"
he tells me that rads shouldn't impact my line of work at all,,, whatever..
but, he did tell me that about 3/8" of my left lung will get radiated, at least he was honest about that. he said the heart will not get touched. but the lung will
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hdangelbaby~everyone is different in the way they feel, but I cannot imagine that you would be even close to being able to lift stuff with the radiation going to your armpit. I just got my 4th one this morning and can already feel that my armpit is getting a little sore, and when my arm is down at my side, the rubbing really hurts. like I have said before and I'll say it again, NO ONE can really understand the se's unless they have been thru it themselves. Has your onc ever had radiation to his armpit?...doubtful! You do what you feel is best. If it were me, I would definitly wait til I was totally done. I had a lumpectomy too and can hardly reach up to grab a glass out of a cabinet! Good luck in your decision!
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my gut is telling me to stay off, I work at a Home Depot in the flooring dept. I have to pull and cut carpet (12 feet wide, and HEAVY!!), and lift boxes of flooring. ya know my manager can say all day long he can keep me from doing it, but when i'm the only one there (happens ALL the time) and someone needs carpet cut, i'm going to end up doing it. i don't want to go back to just have to call for help all the time (other people in other departments are sometimes alone too)
i'm very much a "i'd rather just do it than ask for help" type of person. so i think i will stick to the exercise routine vs going back to work right now.
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