April 2011 chemo

geocachelinda

I too have gotten the is this your son from a couple people regarding my husband.  He is 5 years younger than me and my hair is mostly gray naturally!  I just laugh and then go color my hair!  It is coming in all white and fuzzy but if I pull it the hairs come right out.  People make insensitive comments not meaning too I think.

On another note, my husband and I decided to have some adult fun.  I've been putting him off for weeks because I just don't feel like it and don't feel good.  I felt like I was getting intimate with a sandpaper wrapped husband!  It was extremely uncomfortable and my insides are still sore.  Anybody else have that problem?  Sorry for TMI but I feel we can talk about pretty much anything on this board!  Hemmoroids, constipation, sex.. etc.  LOL  Smiles and hugs to all!

determined3

geo...thanks for being brave enough to raise the question about sex...looking forward to comments and suggestions too

RangerMom

Hi all, I have been out of commission, in the hospital since Sat. Just got out today and feeling more human. Something to tell you all who are on Taxol, if you have a persistent cough with chest pressure or shortness of breath, it could be you are having an allergic reaction or SE to the Taxol. That's what I had. Had this cough and all the above that started right after my first treatment (June 23rd) and hadn't gone away. Then this past weekend I got a fever, back to the ER, lots of tests and dr. visits and it was decided it have pulmonary inflamation due to allergic reaction to the Taxol. So no more tax for me, I had 2 more treatments to go and instead the surgeon has moved up surgery to this Aug. 16th. So watch your lungs if you are on Taxol. 

Merilee

Ranger Mom I am so glad you are ok now! And that you do not have to do any more of the medicine from hell.  My first one, I swear almost killed me. I felt so close to the edge of death that I could taste it. August 16 is a great day, it happens to be my oldest daughter's birthday. I think you will be charmed from this point on. Did you get 4 treatments in ? I can't remember.

profbee

Adult fun?  Oy.  I'm SO tired, and I think hubby is still pretty freaked and depressed about the whole thing.  The doc said today I'd have no feeling in my new breasts after the mastectomy.  On the way home hubby said, "They might as well tape 2 snowglobes to your chest!"  I mean, it sounds really insensitive here, but we were talking about it, and I brought it up, and we were laughing.  Anyway, I think he feels like there;s now a whole part of me that won't matter anymore.  I think he's freaked a bit.  We're in such a slump--it sucks.  

Merilee

Well, I haven't seen a boner in a couple of years LOL so  I am having a hard time relating and I am thinking I may very well never see one again.

I do like snow globes however. My friend gave me one with a peace sign in it. I love it.

geocachelinda

I've seriously been avoiding the boner.  My poor husband isn't too happy about it.  I feel like if I never have to see one again, it will be fine by me!

geocachelinda

@Profbee my husband says I have "pussy paranoia" I have been avoiding him touching me anywhere near an intimate area!  I took objection to that term!

RangerMom

Merilee,

I got 4 AC treatments in and 2 Taxols. The mass is down to about 3 cm from 5 so that's good! I'm kind of bummed because the 16th is a Tuesday and my sister has to leave the following Sat. Then I'm pretty much on my own. Do you think I will be okay on my own if I'm only home about 2 days before she leaves?? Thanks 

Anonymous

Since we're all being graphic here, I remember the AC days when I was toxic and told to avoid "intimate contact" because I could poison my husband. We worked it out with latex on relevant parts, including hands. It makes me laugh to think of it now.

Profbee - I have no feeling at all on my flat, scarred chest and down part of my side, which was weird at first, but I've gotten used to it. I left my bra on the first few romps because I was worried about that unsightly scar and the weirdness of having no breast, but now I take the bra off at his request and it's not a big deal. (That part of me was never really a focal point for him anyway.)

RangerMom: So sorry to hear about your hospitalization - that's all you need! I'm glad you got the two Taxols in even if it did cause you all that grief.
Taxol says, "Die, cancer cells, die!!"

You may want to line up another friend to look in on you after your sister leaves. As I recall, the first three or four days were the worst, and it did get a lot easier after that. Is there a way someone can deliver your meals to you and don a pair of gloves help you with the drains? And remind me again - are you getting a bilateral or just one side done?

CarlaB76

Oh you ladies rollercoaster me!  From the low of concern about you, RangerMom, to the hilarious boner, paranoia and snowglobes!  I'm between crying and laughing, which is oddly good for the soul at the minute.

RangerMom, thank you for the advice on the Taxol.  It is good to have an idea of what to watch for.  These darned drugs are vicious and life saving and more rollercoaster. I don't remember if you were planning a bilateral, or if you were having reconstruction, but two days seems really fast to be on your own without any help.

Adult activities...hmmm.  Since surgery in March, we've officially done it once.  And it might have been May.  We've always had dffering drives (his more than mine), so part of me thinks he thinks that this is just yet another excuse.  He's obviously not said anything like that, but we were talking about it just this weekend and he was so excited for chemo to be done.  Whoohooo!  Action!  And I had to remind him that I had 5 years of meds that could induce menopause, and made him promise to go spend some time reading about menopause.  I've taken to addressing his needs by showering together, ahem.  I tell myself that it is quiet environmentally conscious of me, saving water and all.  But I realize that I'm going to need to do more than that. Sigh.

Had my WBC check today for Taxol #3 on TH.  They were lower than last week, so I got my devil neupogen shot again.  I'm going to work at home tomorrow, because I should be resting more.  I know it. I have a girlfriend and her little daughter driving in from Cape Cod tomorrow to be my chemo buddies for TH.  It's been about two years since I've seen her (and never met her 6mth old), so it gives me something to look forward to, beyond just plain ole chemo.

Hang tough women.  And please keep me laughing!

Anonymous

I just poked around and found a whole thread on the adult fun/cancer issue. We are not alone with these struggles.

I want my Mojo back!
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/7/topic/69566?page=100

CarlaB76

Windlass, I just bookmarked it.   Now if only I can read through the 2991 posts!

Merilee

2991 posts is a lot LOL

Ranger mom- I did fine with my dmx but you can prep your house by puttying things you will need down lower for example. Reaching up can be a bit challenging for the first week. I ordered food to be delivered for a few days and had some stuff pre- cooked and in the frig. As for the drains, I did not need help with them but did get an ace bandage to hold them in place at my waist. I would just tuck them in, I had a replacement so that I could shower with it on as well. Also loosen the tops on you med bottles as your arms Will feel weak for a few days. You will want lots of couch time so maybe rent a few of your favorite movies in advance or get a pile of books to set by your bed or couch., and of course your lap top so you can keep us updated on your recovery. All in all I was plesantly surprised at how fast the recovery was. I was out walking up and down the driveway for movment with in a few days,

Perhaps your daughter will be willing to be on call for a few days.

I am glad you got as much chemo as you did and I suspect it was plenty. 

Hugs

Merilee

RangerMom

Thanks all. I will prep the house and definitely get lots of books and movies ready. I'm having a bil mx with nodes, some of you asked. I think i can get meals preped and ready in the freezer too. What is a replacement? Did you get special bras to wear? I read that you need lots of button or zip front shirts and pull up pants.

RangerMom

I feel for you all who have men and the topic of the day. May I suggest your husbands lather you with lotion, and a little back massage, etc. to help with relaxing you and getting in the mood. Also, if they will use a handy dandy vibrator with you, it would get the job done faster and he'd be happy too! Just my tricks I tried before the SOB left me. Even though he had the prostectomy, I was trying to help him get his "function" back in working order.

Sudzinvermont

Wow, so much going on.

Glad to hear you are on the mend Ranger Mom. After my surgery I was happy I had slippery jammies, (pink satin with black stars!) to help me get in and out of the recliner. It was a long time before I could lay flat.

I also had a couple of lanyards, that I would hook my drains to. It was handy in the shower, and when I was emptying them...anything to keep them from hanging when you are undressed with noplace to pin them too.

There is a great thread someplace in " before surgery" that tells you the things you need to have ready. keep everything low, get paper plates and plastic flatware....eat what you can when you can and drink a lot. And DEF get some anticonstipation whoha of some type. You will need the pain meds and they will cause you issues.

 I had my #5 TH yesterday, we droped the carbo because my platelets are just not coming back quickly enough...and I get my nulasta today.

I'm thinking about all of you. And crying laughing, and getting pissed right along with you all.

sue

seeay

hi yall!

I completed round 5 - one more to go. It took me forever to get caught up w everyone, but glad I did. I love this group! Round 3 was def the worst one - brutal, in fact, but 4 and 5 much better, except the effects of the neulasta shot were ridiculous this time. Wonder why??!! I was really down yesterday thinking about all of this crap we go through - loike why have I gained 20+ lbs when I barely eat? Being fat, bald, partially deaf (from the carboplatin), weird looking without eyelashes and brows, and not being able to taste anything has simply taken its toll. I am, however, much better today, receiving a ton of support from my friends. I kissed my kids hard today and held them close, which reminded me why I endure all this crap.

On a fun note...I got eyelash extensions. They are not easy to care for, but look terrific! They get put on one by one, You have to comb them and straighten them out but tehy are great for when we are done with our treatment. I just wanted to try them out. Just a little tidbit I thought to pass along. 

Hearing hasn't gotten worse since I switched off carboplatin to cytoxan, but I never understood why this wasn't monitored. Just keep an eye (or ear) on it if you are on TCH. Apparently it's a lot more common than I knew.

Hang in there ladies!!

jackifp

Re: hearing loss and Carboplatin - my onc insists that since I'm only affected in one ear, it can't be the carbo , cuz it only causes hearing loss in both ears, even tho I directed him to the websites where I read that it can be unilateral. What's scary is that not only was it never mentioned initially, and that it's been bothering me for two months, but that one-third of the cases have permanent damage. Great choice, that one - cancer or hearing.



And how about the eye-twitching? Not just a tic, but full-blown eye twitch, Egads, it's buggy.

Merilee

Hi Ladies

My hear goes out to you still on chemo, it is for sure not a road for wimps. My brother had hearing loss with Carb, but it did return a few weeks after treatment so take heart.

Rangermom-How are you today?

Windlass- How about you?

You are all on my mind like an adopted family of girlfriends. I think there is a bond that happens when we go through something so grueling together.

CarlaB76

Off to the healing throne (TM Merilee).  3/12 Taxol.

You gals have a good day!

Merilee

Blessings CarlaB

BernieEllen

Hi to all, i've missed you - computer was broken.  Hubby gone to work in algeria, so that's one problem solved!!!!!!!!!!  I love you moaning about the heat, we had three hot days last week 19c that may well have been the summer here.

BernieEllen

Forgot to say, little toe nails fell off

profbee

Oh, my nails!  EVERY finger nail is bleeding underneath and 4 of them are oozing.  My two big toes are totally oozing and GROSS.  I feel like a leper.  I don't know what the heck to do about it.   It's hot as heck--ac units in the windows--I hate AC.  ugh.  In-laws are on their way here to babysit for us b/c tomorrow is my last of SIXTEEN TAXOLS!  Wooooo hoooooo!  Surgery is scheduled for sometime the week of August 22nd (waiting on exact day), and then will start next round of chemo (AC).  But this is a big milestone!  

 Thanks for being there with me through it all!!! 

louis13

omg..catching up on the posts here has been a rollercoaster indeed... the tricks before the SOB left me, boners and never seeing one again etc etc so funny...

re your initial comments profbee..i am about to have my mx too and am concerned about how my partner is going to be as well as i am really dreading the thought of losing sensation and even  worse, hear that you can get some weird off-putting sensations back...he says he will be fine and he is prepared and we will adapt.. but he is pretty darn attached to my breasts, like most of the time ! lol one way or another and to other body parts too, but not as much, so guess there is going to be some refocusing..

RangerMom

Hi all, 

I'm doing much better today, coughing less, but stll short of breath and extremely tired. Profbee, I've got my bil mx coming up on the 16th. have you seen the website for helping us prepare for what it will be like? Same for you louis 13, what date is your's scheduled? I feel like i'm strapped into the rollercoaster, sitting at the top and ready to take that plunge. You know that feeling. I can't get off, I've got to take this ride no matter how scared I am of rollercoasters. 

profbee

RangerMom, you can help me through--mine's about a week after yours--August 23rd.  What website?  I haven't seen it.  I have to go to some "teaching appt" the day I have all my tests and whatnot--on August 4th I think.  I'll let you know if I learn anything important.    

I know just what you mean about being strapped in.  I keep thinking well, this may be the last time I wear this, or this is the last time I'll have MY boobs in this dress, etc.  I'm nervous, and I finally had a good cry last weekend.  I seriously think it was my first REAL cry.  Hubby and I were sitting outside and I just kept looking up and seeing the clouds pass by so fast while I sat still--I kept thinking "how did I get here?"  

All that you're so strong BS.  Like there's another option?!  The rollercoaster has already started--can't get off until the ride is over!

Merilee

For those of you having mx coming up. I thought I would miss my boobs but I never have. Don't know if that helps at all  but I hope it does. I hate bras and have not warn one since I'm telling ya, flat is were it's at.

louis13

ranger mom, my surgery is august 9th and ditto...what website?