So, how do I know what my risk of recurrence actually is?

susan_02143

Andrea,

Just found this thread, and for some reason, I am diving in. Statistics mean nothing, so I am pleased to hear that he can live without a guarantee. My statistics looked pretty darn good on paper, but my reality demonstrates that for 99% who don't, 1% do.

As a fellow Bostonian, let me help clarify men-speak for "grow organically." This probably does not refer to exclusivity, but instead means "let's not jump into marriage too fast. I am still processing." His actions seem to indicate that this is someone who can nurture, and specifically that he is interested in nurturing you! This is good right?

Your emotions in the treatment room, about being alone, however, strikes a cord. Being alone isn't a bad thing you know. The best relationships happen when you are a full and happy person all by yourself, and then adding another person makes you even fuller and happier.

The "grow organically" part sounds really good from here. Take the time to see if happier happens.

All the best,

*susan* 

JustSaying

Hi Susan, Interesting about the term "organically". I hadn't heard that one before. Yes he did come through when I really needed someone and no one else could, for whatever reason (son is on a job in FL, parents are in FL, etc). Unfortunately, I don't think he's 100% over his ex wife yet. So I am not putting all my eggs in one basket, I have a few other good options waiting in the wings.

How are you doing? I see you had distant recurrence. I am sending all of my best wishes and I hope healing thoughts to you.

 Andrea

lion9091995

Hi! This is the first time I have posted on this list.  I have a couple of questions.  Firstly, Kelly Corrigan (of The Middle Place fame) said there was a link on  the breastcancer.org website to work out your odds of recurrence.  Any one found  it?! I can't. Any one used it?

Secondly, I see lots of you refer to your Stage of cancer. How do I know what mine is, I am based in England - is it an american thing?! 

Best wishes,

Lion

edwards750

Just saying - I had the oncotype test done which tells you what the odds are of recurrence based on your score. The tests done are on the biology of your cancer. From that they determine the likelihood of recurrence. I had a low score of 11. There is a website for genomichealth.com which talks about the oncotype testing. You can also google it and see there are all kinds of links with information about recurrence. It is not an exact science but it is a good barometer for recurrence and to help oncologists decide treatment.

 lion9091995 - Ditto with the links about recurrence and as for Stage my BS staged mine as Stage 1 initially because the cancer was outside the milk ducts and in the breast tissue but when they found a micromet in my SN it was bumped to Stage 2.  Stage 0 is when it is confined to the milk ducts. Not sure about criteria for Stages 3 and 4. Just so you know some doctors dont even use staging because they dont think it matters but for us it is a gauge to determine whether the cancer has travelled and thus what treatment to prescribe. Dont know if it is an American thing or not; you might ask your doctor about it. Good luck to you both!  diane

JustSaying

Susan - I did wind up finding out that you were absolutely right about the meaning of the word "organically" when it comes to men in the Boston area and dating. It apparently DOES mean what you said. However, I had to find out he was seeing someone else the hard way. He didn't know I found out. 

voraciousreader

Justsaying... Short of me getting on Amtrack and running up to Boston and delivering a copy of Fromm's book... With tender hugs, could you please get the book! I promise you won't be disappointed once you read it... You have been disappointed enough! PM me if you read the book. And by all means,PM me even if you don't.