I"m okay

MissMeg

I just wanted to update from this post

http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/108/topic/765837

I went to the doctor Monday and they tell me I'm fine. I feel 200% better about things. Still, I hate what this disease has turned me into. Every pain, every irregularity seems to send me into a panic. I hate this. I'm not this person. I'm not a hypochondriac. But there are these horror stories.. I hear things like :

"I was stage I, but then I was suddenly stage IV. They missed the other tumor"

"They thought she was okay, now she's dead"

"She had pain in her back and the doctor was sure it had nothing to do with the cancer, now she's dead"

Then there is my cousin. Stage IV liver cancer at 18 years old and fighting for her life. 

We've all heard these stories. How do you deal with all this?

starbeauty

MissMeg... I totally understand what you are going through... for the first several months after the treatments were over I fell into a total depression about my true chance of survival... I felt so vulnerable... I felt like my life was essentially over even though I had done everything I could to survive - but here is the reality of it all... "she was driving down the road and a drunk hit her and now she is dead",  "she had her whole life in front of her and took the corner too fast and now she is dead", "they were fishing when the first wave hit their boat and now they are dead", "they boarded up everything they could, but the radiation still got in and now they are dying" - and that is what donked me on the head... there are no guarantees for anyone in this life... yes, cancer stinks and yes, it may get me - but we get to know ahead of time that we need to live every moment to the fullest... take captive every word we say... comfort each person in our path today... and take joy in that living... that is how I am dealing with it - not dwelling on the ever looming chance that the blasted beast might get me... but living, busily laughing and loving as much as I possibly can today.  Heading out for a walk in the glorious spring sunshine shortly.