My "Mina" is gone... and i just can't take it :-(

Redoat

 l lost my Mina (grandmother) to breast cancer.. 2 months ago---------at age 74. I am 28 and she and I have been together just about everyday of my life since I was born

She was diagnosed in October 2010. and we lost her 3 months later. a very aggressive cancer... we have to believe that she  had it and didn't know it .... (hadn't gone for a mammo in 2 years) because the agressiveness of it is astounding.  Everyone was so positive in the beginning saying stuff like.... we can shrink the bone mets... we can get the breast off after we treat the bones.. took her for Radiation, Chemo, Herceptin, Zometa.. you name it... and then all of a sudden it was in her STOMACH.... and then a spot on her lung... and then she developed a cough.. and was put in the hospital.. PNEUMONIA... PLEURAL EFFUSION..... and she was gone!!!  It's all just too much to handle :-(   She was my best friend in the world and she's gone :-(

AnnNYC

((((((((((((Redoat)))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Many hugs to you.

Leah_S

Redoat, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of you dear grandmother. A lot of people think that because it's a grandmother and not mother that it's not hard but I know how painful it is. I lost my dear Grandma 23 years ago and I still miss her terribly.

May G-d send you comfort.

Leah

Medigal

Redoat:  I am so sorry for your lost.  I was surprised to read how aggessive her bc was because I was told by my medical staff that bc is less aggressive in the elderly and the older you are when you get it, the better your chance of survival.  Unfortunately, it sounds like it was in her for some time before they found and diagnosed it.  Mammograms etc. don't always show the tumors.  The year I was diagnosed, my mammo came back "negative".  This certainly isn't an exact science yet!   To lose her within 3months is a nightmare.  We had a dear male friend we loved dearly who seemed like he was in the best of health.   One day he got a stomach ache and had to go to the hospital.  They found his body was riddled with cancer and he died within weeks.  His wife was a basketcase to lose him so quickly when she thought he was so healthy.  He, too, was just in his early 70's.  So there is no answer to help you really understand and cope with this great lost.  

I just do hope you will find the strength to deal with the lost of one you love so much.  

agapornis

I am very sorry to hear that you lost your grandmother. It is so heartbreaking to lose a loved one. Many hugs to you.

chainsawz

redoat - I just sent you a PM.....

Cyber hugs to you - lisa

EstherMSKCC

Dear Redoat,

I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother. I'm an employee of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and am aware of a number of resources that offer advice on how people can cope after a loved one passes away from cancer.

For example, the American Cancer Society offers some good information on this topic:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MBC/MBC_4x_copinggrief.asp?sitearea=CGV

CancerCare provides no-cost individual bereavement counseling and grief support groups, as well as informational materials and practical help:

http://www.cancercare.org/get_help/special_progs/bereaved.php

The National Cancer Institute also offers an online brochure with helpful information on this topic: http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/bereavement/Patient/page2

I hope this information is useful and wish you the best of luck as you seek the support you need during this difficult time. -Esther